Little Miss Grace was not doing well last week after her treatment in yet another attempt to relieve the pain from another tumor applying pressure in her head. It was the week I was going to teach her how to dance. Today I sit and wait for my visit with her, wondering how will I teach her to dance, because I for sure know she is going to make me, make up, for that lesson lost last week. I’m not even going to try to talk her out of this because there is no way it can be worse then the 20 minutes of barbie dolls she made me play with her two weeks ago.
I have visited Grace several times this past week, most often I have found her sleeping, resting comfortably, recovering from a treatment that her parents told me would probably be mild compared to treatments that will come along in the near future. Aggressive. It seems that using the phrase “aggressive treatments” would suggest Grace is winning the war she is facing with cancer. I am reminded of the conversation her father had with me this past week, telling me to not be fooled by the phrase, because no matter how many battles Grace wins, cancer is certain to win the war.
In the seven weeks since I first met Grace, we have bonded in an unusual way. I first heard about Grace and her journey through a buddy of mine. His mom and Grace’s mom have known each other from before Grace was ever born. He thought I might be interested in her story, not as a journalist, but as someone who lost a brother to lung cancer five years ago. I have been mourning Joey’s death since the day he died and this is what my buddy felt I needed to get some comfort in my loss.
I first met Grace’s Mom, explained to her I am an inspiring journalist struggling with the loss of my mom, as well as my siblings, one of them taken from me by cancer. I felt she should know both facts about me, since I was going to ask her if we could see if her daughter was interested in helping me journal her journey through this life, into the after life. Grace and I took to each other well, both understanding our roles in this relationship, with her being in control, and me being bossed around by yet another female in my life. She made it very clear this would be the story of her life, and not the story of her demise. I would tell anyone interested in hearing the story of who she is, and when she leaves us, the story of who she wanted to be.
There is not a lot of wiggle room in separating those two stories, because I think who Grace is, is who she will be in heaven. I enjoy every second I get to converse with Grace as she shares her thoughts with me. She absorbs so much about life, given she has only lived it for eight years. She is very spiritual, and believes in all her heart she has gained a spot in heaven. Not because she is fighting this fight, but because she has a lot to offer the rest of us once she is above us. Grace is applying to be an angel guide. She does not see how God can deny her that job. Personally I had no idea there was a job market in heaven, never had that crossed my mind. It leads me to believe, once again, Grace has more knowledge about this than the rest of us. She tells me an angel guide’s job is to make sure the people she is assigned to look after, stay on the right path in their journey to God. Apparently, according to Grace, I need a lot of help in that area, and that is why God brought us together. I can only shake my head when she laid that line on me, she continuously tries to push my buttons like that. It makes me smile though, because she’s probably closer to that truth then I am.
Today as I prepare to visit Grace, I have a tough question to ask her. I know her question back to me will be equally as tough. I know we will both answer them truthfully. I know it will not damage our friendship. I know I will walk away with a clear picture of why we are on this short journey together. I know we will smile as we say goodbye. I know that Grace will get the last word. I know she will ask me to come back again. I know I will say “you bet Gracie”. I know she will instruct me as to what I will be doing for her next week. I know I pray it is not to play barbies. What I do NOT know, is will this be the last time I visit my Angel Guide …
I love you Gracie, more and more with each passing minute, and when our minutes are up down here on earth, I will keep loving you more and more as you guide me through my journey from your palace above.
I have visited Grace several times this past week, most often I have found her sleeping, resting comfortably, recovering from a treatment that her parents told me would probably be mild compared to treatments that will come along in the near future. Aggressive. It seems that using the phrase “aggressive treatments” would suggest Grace is winning the war she is facing with cancer. I am reminded of the conversation her father had with me this past week, telling me to not be fooled by the phrase, because no matter how many battles Grace wins, cancer is certain to win the war.
In the seven weeks since I first met Grace, we have bonded in an unusual way. I first heard about Grace and her journey through a buddy of mine. His mom and Grace’s mom have known each other from before Grace was ever born. He thought I might be interested in her story, not as a journalist, but as someone who lost a brother to lung cancer five years ago. I have been mourning Joey’s death since the day he died and this is what my buddy felt I needed to get some comfort in my loss.
I first met Grace’s Mom, explained to her I am an inspiring journalist struggling with the loss of my mom, as well as my siblings, one of them taken from me by cancer. I felt she should know both facts about me, since I was going to ask her if we could see if her daughter was interested in helping me journal her journey through this life, into the after life. Grace and I took to each other well, both understanding our roles in this relationship, with her being in control, and me being bossed around by yet another female in my life. She made it very clear this would be the story of her life, and not the story of her demise. I would tell anyone interested in hearing the story of who she is, and when she leaves us, the story of who she wanted to be.
There is not a lot of wiggle room in separating those two stories, because I think who Grace is, is who she will be in heaven. I enjoy every second I get to converse with Grace as she shares her thoughts with me. She absorbs so much about life, given she has only lived it for eight years. She is very spiritual, and believes in all her heart she has gained a spot in heaven. Not because she is fighting this fight, but because she has a lot to offer the rest of us once she is above us. Grace is applying to be an angel guide. She does not see how God can deny her that job. Personally I had no idea there was a job market in heaven, never had that crossed my mind. It leads me to believe, once again, Grace has more knowledge about this than the rest of us. She tells me an angel guide’s job is to make sure the people she is assigned to look after, stay on the right path in their journey to God. Apparently, according to Grace, I need a lot of help in that area, and that is why God brought us together. I can only shake my head when she laid that line on me, she continuously tries to push my buttons like that. It makes me smile though, because she’s probably closer to that truth then I am.
Today as I prepare to visit Grace, I have a tough question to ask her. I know her question back to me will be equally as tough. I know we will both answer them truthfully. I know it will not damage our friendship. I know I will walk away with a clear picture of why we are on this short journey together. I know we will smile as we say goodbye. I know that Grace will get the last word. I know she will ask me to come back again. I know I will say “you bet Gracie”. I know she will instruct me as to what I will be doing for her next week. I know I pray it is not to play barbies. What I do NOT know, is will this be the last time I visit my Angel Guide …
I love you Gracie, more and more with each passing minute, and when our minutes are up down here on earth, I will keep loving you more and more as you guide me through my journey from your palace above.
