I have several people in my life right now asking this question. It may sound like a generic question but it is not. It is not even generic as far as who the question is directed toward or who the question is about. You may be able to pinpoint where the question is coming from, not who, but why. It can be phrased several different ways, but no matter how it is formed, the question can never be answered here on earth. Here is the question the way it is meant to be asked.
"Dear GOD, why do you allow the good people to suffer
and the not so good people prosper in life?"
I have asked that question many times in my life and I am sure I will ask it many more times. It doesn't mean I do not believe in GOD or HIS plan. It doesn't mean I am losing faith in GOD or HIS plan. It doesn't mean I do not trust GOD or HIS plan. It means I really am not liking HIS plan at the times that question rises up from my heart. That is where this question comes from, the heart. This question comes from something we love almost as big as GOD Himself. Something has effected someone we love so much that we want to know why GOD has brought something like this into our lives.
February 8, 2015, it will have been eight years since my brother Joey died from complications of lung cancer. Each year on the anniversary of his death my heart asks GOD that question over and over again. "Why Joey? Why not someone else?" I miss him everyday and some days I miss him with every breath I take.
On that date each year I allow myself to be just a little upset with GOD for taking him from me. It is not as if I have not lost other siblings (RIP Jacelyn and Jayson) or my mom (RIP Mom), or even my abusive birth dad. It is not as if I have not lost other extended family members or friends, or even little Amazing Gracie, in my life. It is because Joey is the one I prayed for GOD to let me keep. Joey is the one that I prayed for GOD to let stay, even before I fully understood who GOD was I asked HIM to not take away the brother who I looked up to as my savior. The one who would protect me from our birth dad, help me get away from him without losing my mom in the process.
Yes, before I knew that Jesus was GOD's son and GOD sacrificed His son to save us so we may one day live an Eternal life, Joey was my savior. Joey was the one willing to sacrifice himself so that I had a better life. I wanted GOD to let Joey stay and help save me from the evils of the world, including saving me from myself. Losing Joey was like losing my savior. Losing my hope for a better life. Losing my belief in anything good in my life. "Please take someone else, I need my brother", I would tell GOD several times a day in Joey's final hours.
So on this date, eight years ago, when Joey took his final breath before his next breath 'Beyond A Breath Of Life' I lost my savior, or so I thought. I asked the question 'why Joey, why not someone else'. I spent the next eight years trying to ease the pain inside my heart that never seems to fade. The pain that hurts as much right this moment as it did eight years ago when my savior step into an Eternal life with GOD. Only these days as soon as I ask that question, I remember I already know the answer.
My life is rich, not with money, but with what I have that you cannot buy. The love of my misfit family, friends, and even the strangers around me. The happiness of success in the path I am on. A beautiful bride that inspires me to enjoy everything around me. The joy of watching my nieces and nephews grow and the innocence and purity of what they offer me in their smiles and hugs and laughter. My life is no where near complete, but I am on a beautiful path that may be full of hills and obstacles but each one only adds enjoyment and richness to my life.
Do I still ask that question, Why Some, Not Others? Yes, many times, but these days I do not try to find an answer, I look at what I am surrounded in to see the answer. GOD's plan. It is not the answer we want to hear but you can look around you and see it. Most moments if you let yourself, you can feel it. Everything that happens in your life as you journey to Eternity with GOD is HIS plan to get you to HIM. It's not what you Hope for, Pray for, Believe in or Trust. It is embracing everything that is happening to you and realizing that you are where you are supposed to be. And while we do not always understand the why's and why not's of our life, it is the Hope, Prayers, Beliefs and Trust that take us to GOD, that gets us through each struggle that has our hearts questioning why.
So next time you are faced with something that you feel has made you weaker, take a look around you. That mother that is fading away, her love for you is not. That father that's heart is breaking a little more each day as his one true love fades away, he still has his kids. Those siblings that you ache for because you know their pain, they love you deep. Those sons that need you and you love so big, GOD's plan was not what you lost to have them, it was what you suffered through to get to have them in your life. When you ask yourself "why some and not others", remember that there are times in your life that you should think about it in reverse and be thankful it 'was you, and not someone else' that GOD blessed. It was you that GOD chose to enrich the lives of others, just as he chose HIS SON to sacrifice so that our lives may be enriched until we get to the Eternal Life that GOD has promised us.
I will always miss Joey and I will always want it to have been someone else that left the world. Not because I am selfish, but because I loved him in my life that much. It's that now, I just try to remember to thank GOD for everything I have in my life that makes me never want to lose anyone. Enjoy what HE has given me and be thankful for those times HE knew I was strong enough to handle those things I didn't want to lose.
Love you Joey, Beyond A Breath Of Life and that's a lot brother. Keep looking over my Sturges family friends back home and my Lindgren friends out in the country.
For God so loved the world,
that he gave his only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in him should not perish,
but have everlasting life.
John 3:16
