Grace had prior commitments on Friday that did not allow me to visit with her during our normal time frame late afternoon to early evening. I would later find out that she had other visitors that had spent some time with her, and those visitors would be my brother Jordy, and Mikey, who I also referred to as a brother. Mikey was one of my brother Joey's two best friend before he passed away. The other best friend to Joey was Jake, who I call my dad. He stepped in when my donor dad failed me. Grace had already met Jake but Joey and Mikey were dragging their feet to go visit her. I understood, and although I kept asking them to please visit her so she could cross their names off her People To Meet list, there was always a reason why they could not make that move.
Jordy and I are very different when it comes to how we deal with Joey being gone. I am convinced that Joey walks with me, guiding me in my endeavor to make him proud and live the good life. Jordy does not believe that when you die you are capable of visiting your loved ones still on earth. You are just gone, and only your memory exists. I believe your spirit sticks around and makes sure those memories never fade. Basically, Jordy does not want to believe, and I do.
Mikey and I think a lot alike when it comes to Joey. Mikey believes that during the hardest times of his life, in the toughest decision making times, Joey is there with a calm presence to assure him he did well, and that he would be OK. The difference in us is I do not just feel Joey around me like Mikey does, I can see him, and I can hear him. If there is one person on earth that misses Joey as much, if not more, than I do, it is Mikey. I can still see the sadness in his eyes. Even though he has married, has a great step son and a beautiful 11 month old baby boy, with twin girls due any day now, through all that happiness, I can still see the pain he carries in his heart from losing his best friend. A pain and sadness I know all to well.
When Grace text me in the early evening on Friday that I should bring her a treat, and the supplies she requested to make the tots thank you cards, I was all to happy to be able to visit with her, even though I knew that visit would be short. I headed over to Sweet Cupcakes in the Back Bay area. Grace and I had talked about this sweet shoppe several times and even had creeped them online to look at all their deliciousness but we had yet to give it a try. I picked up four BOSTON CREAM PIE cupcakes. Cupcakes filled with pastry cream, frosted with chocolate and topped with a cherry.
When I got to Grace's house I gathered her bag of supplies and the cupcakes and headed up the walk to the porch. Just as I was about to walk up the step to the front door I heard it lock. I looked up and through the glass I saw the curtain part and my little friend looking out at me laughing. I never got tired of her messing with me at that front door, and I think she liked that I reacted differently each time. I sat on the swing where she could see me and opened the box of cupcakes. I lifted one out of the box and held it in front of me. I was admiring the cupcake when I heard the lock click open and the door creek. I began to take its wrapper off when I felt the swing move and just like that I had company, sitting next to me, staring at the cupcake. "That looks yummy Jett, how many do you have in that box?", Grace had said. "I have one for each of my friends and one for myself", I said. I handed Grace the one in my hands and dug another one out of the box. We sat on the swing and ate our cupcakes. It is not often that Grace will finish the entire of anything I bring her but tonight she had demolished every crumb of that cupcake. "You should of gotten me two, you know." I handed Grace the box and told her "If you eat them now, your mommy and daddy will not even know I bought them one each." I knew she would have none of that, she was always thinking of her parents, and as yummy as those cupcakes were, she was going to make sure her parents got their treat tonight, just as we had ours.
Grace and I went inside and gave them their cupcakes. Before they even had a chance to look in the box Grace was pulling me into her room. When we got there, she took the bag of supplies I had brought her and put them on the now adult size desk sitting where not that many days ago her little pink and white heart desk sat. She walked over to her big girl bed and jumped up and sat in the middle of it. I took a seat on the light oak chair that seemed to hold me well when I visited Grace. "I met your brother today Jett, and your friend Mikey too. I was surprised Jordy's eyes are blue and yours are brown. Mikey has the prettiest blue eyes EVER!" I could tell by the fast pace Grace was talking she was excited to have finally met them. I would sit there for another 15 minutes listening to Grace describe the differences between my brother and myself. She pointed out both physical and character differences that probably we did not even realize we had. Grace grew quiet and laid back on her bed. "Jett", she would say, "Joey and Jordy look alike but you and Joey are more alike on the inside." Now, mind you, Grace has not even seen a picture of Joey so once again I have to think the brother I am missing so much has made an appearance to Grace and when she told me he took her to God's Park and showed her around, it was not a dream. Grace continues on, "You are thicker than your brothers and your hair is nicer. Joey has the nicest smile." I thought I had heard the last of her when she popped back up on her butt and sat on the bed again, "I think you are all very nice, but Mikey is the nicest boy EVER." I rolled my eyes and when she didn't see me roll them I leaned myself in front of her and rolled them again. "Dude, you did not just break up with me right? I am still your boyfriend, right?", I asked her. Grace jumped down for the bed and stood in front of me, "Do not be a silly boy, I was just saying I think Mikey is nice is all." Grace grabbed my hands with hers and tugged at me, "Want to see what me and Jordy and Mikey did today?" I stood up to follow Grace to the closet that was slowing becoming an art room for her with all her writings and drawings on the wall. She opened the right side of the closet door that would reveal the outlines of hands on the back wall. She crawled in and I crawled in after her, "I don't see anything new, what are you showing me?" Grace turned herself to face to the right and nudged me to do that same. There in front of us were four stick figures of various shapes and sizes. A tall thin line with a head with curly hair, clearly Joey, then the shortest of the lines with a head on it with two blue eyes staring at me that had to be Mikey, next was another taller thin stick line with a head on it with a smile drawn in with a tongue hanging out, my guess would be Jordy. The last stick figure really wasn't a stick at all. It was the shape of an oval, clearly 'thicker than the others' with a head on it with a crooked smile. I smiled at the thought of Jordy, Mikey, and Gracie drawing this picture and knowing it was a jab at me being the thick one of the bunch. I felt Grace wrap her arms around me from behind me as if she was going to get a piggy back ride. She put her chin on my shoulder and her head rested against the side of mine. I noticed that the stick figures hands were holding each others hands. Across the top was written "brothers forever" that I could see written in Jordys handwriting. "It's beautiful Grace, I like it", I told her. We crawled out of the closet and I told Grace it was getting late, she should get some rest so she could work on the tots thank you tomorrow. We said our goodbye's and when I left Grace on this night she was sitting at the desk in her room. I waited a few minutes outside her door and when I peeked back around the corner Grace had taken a mirror out of a drawer, removed her lid, and was making faces in the mirror at herself. I laughed to myself wondering what she was up to and when I next came to see her, what would she drag me into that closet to see.
I love this little girl, I don't care if she thinks Mikey is the nicest and has the prettiest eyes. I had her heart and I knew it, and I am sure she knew she stole my heart several weeks ago. I was no sooner back at my house when my cell beeped. "I need some pink and some red lipstick tomorrow please." I let out a sigh, she knew I would search high and low for these girly items and I imagined she was chuckling to herself about the thought of it. "OK girlfriend, see you tomorrow".
Jordy and I are very different when it comes to how we deal with Joey being gone. I am convinced that Joey walks with me, guiding me in my endeavor to make him proud and live the good life. Jordy does not believe that when you die you are capable of visiting your loved ones still on earth. You are just gone, and only your memory exists. I believe your spirit sticks around and makes sure those memories never fade. Basically, Jordy does not want to believe, and I do.
Mikey and I think a lot alike when it comes to Joey. Mikey believes that during the hardest times of his life, in the toughest decision making times, Joey is there with a calm presence to assure him he did well, and that he would be OK. The difference in us is I do not just feel Joey around me like Mikey does, I can see him, and I can hear him. If there is one person on earth that misses Joey as much, if not more, than I do, it is Mikey. I can still see the sadness in his eyes. Even though he has married, has a great step son and a beautiful 11 month old baby boy, with twin girls due any day now, through all that happiness, I can still see the pain he carries in his heart from losing his best friend. A pain and sadness I know all to well.
When Grace text me in the early evening on Friday that I should bring her a treat, and the supplies she requested to make the tots thank you cards, I was all to happy to be able to visit with her, even though I knew that visit would be short. I headed over to Sweet Cupcakes in the Back Bay area. Grace and I had talked about this sweet shoppe several times and even had creeped them online to look at all their deliciousness but we had yet to give it a try. I picked up four BOSTON CREAM PIE cupcakes. Cupcakes filled with pastry cream, frosted with chocolate and topped with a cherry.
When I got to Grace's house I gathered her bag of supplies and the cupcakes and headed up the walk to the porch. Just as I was about to walk up the step to the front door I heard it lock. I looked up and through the glass I saw the curtain part and my little friend looking out at me laughing. I never got tired of her messing with me at that front door, and I think she liked that I reacted differently each time. I sat on the swing where she could see me and opened the box of cupcakes. I lifted one out of the box and held it in front of me. I was admiring the cupcake when I heard the lock click open and the door creek. I began to take its wrapper off when I felt the swing move and just like that I had company, sitting next to me, staring at the cupcake. "That looks yummy Jett, how many do you have in that box?", Grace had said. "I have one for each of my friends and one for myself", I said. I handed Grace the one in my hands and dug another one out of the box. We sat on the swing and ate our cupcakes. It is not often that Grace will finish the entire of anything I bring her but tonight she had demolished every crumb of that cupcake. "You should of gotten me two, you know." I handed Grace the box and told her "If you eat them now, your mommy and daddy will not even know I bought them one each." I knew she would have none of that, she was always thinking of her parents, and as yummy as those cupcakes were, she was going to make sure her parents got their treat tonight, just as we had ours.
Grace and I went inside and gave them their cupcakes. Before they even had a chance to look in the box Grace was pulling me into her room. When we got there, she took the bag of supplies I had brought her and put them on the now adult size desk sitting where not that many days ago her little pink and white heart desk sat. She walked over to her big girl bed and jumped up and sat in the middle of it. I took a seat on the light oak chair that seemed to hold me well when I visited Grace. "I met your brother today Jett, and your friend Mikey too. I was surprised Jordy's eyes are blue and yours are brown. Mikey has the prettiest blue eyes EVER!" I could tell by the fast pace Grace was talking she was excited to have finally met them. I would sit there for another 15 minutes listening to Grace describe the differences between my brother and myself. She pointed out both physical and character differences that probably we did not even realize we had. Grace grew quiet and laid back on her bed. "Jett", she would say, "Joey and Jordy look alike but you and Joey are more alike on the inside." Now, mind you, Grace has not even seen a picture of Joey so once again I have to think the brother I am missing so much has made an appearance to Grace and when she told me he took her to God's Park and showed her around, it was not a dream. Grace continues on, "You are thicker than your brothers and your hair is nicer. Joey has the nicest smile." I thought I had heard the last of her when she popped back up on her butt and sat on the bed again, "I think you are all very nice, but Mikey is the nicest boy EVER." I rolled my eyes and when she didn't see me roll them I leaned myself in front of her and rolled them again. "Dude, you did not just break up with me right? I am still your boyfriend, right?", I asked her. Grace jumped down for the bed and stood in front of me, "Do not be a silly boy, I was just saying I think Mikey is nice is all." Grace grabbed my hands with hers and tugged at me, "Want to see what me and Jordy and Mikey did today?" I stood up to follow Grace to the closet that was slowing becoming an art room for her with all her writings and drawings on the wall. She opened the right side of the closet door that would reveal the outlines of hands on the back wall. She crawled in and I crawled in after her, "I don't see anything new, what are you showing me?" Grace turned herself to face to the right and nudged me to do that same. There in front of us were four stick figures of various shapes and sizes. A tall thin line with a head with curly hair, clearly Joey, then the shortest of the lines with a head on it with two blue eyes staring at me that had to be Mikey, next was another taller thin stick line with a head on it with a smile drawn in with a tongue hanging out, my guess would be Jordy. The last stick figure really wasn't a stick at all. It was the shape of an oval, clearly 'thicker than the others' with a head on it with a crooked smile. I smiled at the thought of Jordy, Mikey, and Gracie drawing this picture and knowing it was a jab at me being the thick one of the bunch. I felt Grace wrap her arms around me from behind me as if she was going to get a piggy back ride. She put her chin on my shoulder and her head rested against the side of mine. I noticed that the stick figures hands were holding each others hands. Across the top was written "brothers forever" that I could see written in Jordys handwriting. "It's beautiful Grace, I like it", I told her. We crawled out of the closet and I told Grace it was getting late, she should get some rest so she could work on the tots thank you tomorrow. We said our goodbye's and when I left Grace on this night she was sitting at the desk in her room. I waited a few minutes outside her door and when I peeked back around the corner Grace had taken a mirror out of a drawer, removed her lid, and was making faces in the mirror at herself. I laughed to myself wondering what she was up to and when I next came to see her, what would she drag me into that closet to see.
I love this little girl, I don't care if she thinks Mikey is the nicest and has the prettiest eyes. I had her heart and I knew it, and I am sure she knew she stole my heart several weeks ago. I was no sooner back at my house when my cell beeped. "I need some pink and some red lipstick tomorrow please." I let out a sigh, she knew I would search high and low for these girly items and I imagined she was chuckling to herself about the thought of it. "OK girlfriend, see you tomorrow".
