Grace was back to business today, wanting to get right to her dictating more of her thoughts to me. She barely gave me a chance to settle into the chair next to her bed before she was telling me to get my journal and pen out. "I have a lot to say today so we need to start right away", she announced to me. I can always tell when we are going through this routine how Grace is feeling by how she dictates to me. Today she was anxious, talking rather quickly while choosing her words carefully. "Slow down please Grace, I am having trouble keeping up with all your thoughts", I told her. She was not looking into my eyes today, as she normally does, and said, "We are running out of time Jett, and you cannot tell my story in your words until you know my story in my words". I looked at Grace, and noticing a bruise on the side of her head, I set down my journal and my pen. "Grace, you have a new bruise today, did you fall?", I asked her as I carefully touched her head. "No, I did not fall. I had a headache last night that woke me up and this morning there was a spot where my headache was", she told me, "It does not hurt me Jett, let's keep working today".
We continued on with Grace telling me more of her thoughts and sharing more of her journey here on earth. She would have me read back what she had dictated to me, then make an adjustment to her words, had me read it again, and when she was satisfied with her thought in print, would move on to her next thought. A bit more than an hour had past and I asked Grace, "Do you mind if we take a small break? Clear our minds so we can start fresh again?" , I asked. "Yes, but let's hurry so we do not miss anytime today", she said in almost a panicky voice. "Grace, what is going on with you today? What are you feeling?" I asked her.
Grace looked at me as she sat up on the edge of her bed. I looked into her eyes, and like I taught her to read other peoples eyes, I wanted to not only read her eyes, I wanted to be in them, looking out, and seeing what she was seeing. She blinked once and held it tight. When she opened her eyes it was as if she'd been transformed into a different place. "I walked with Joey last night. We walked on a sidewalk made of clouds. By our sides as we walked were different colors of flowers. The grass was the prettiest green ever. There were benches everywhere and people were sitting on them. The people all wore white for their clothes. Everyone looked the same, except their skin and their eyes and their hair. All the colors we saw were so pretty, the prettiest colors ever. Joey said that when I die, this was where I would go and wait for him to come and get me to take me to heaven" , she said. I know the look on my face must of lead her to conclude that I was not believing what she was telling me. We found ourselves staring at each other, neither of us backing down from the stare, waiting for the other to speak. I believe Grace had a lot to say to me about this current revelation she had made to me, but was giving me the chance to speak first. I could not. My mind was racing because I do believe that Joey was with her last night. There were many nights that I know Joey was sitting with me when I was sick, or lonely, or missing him terribly. When I needed him the most, he was there for me, when he walked the earth, and now that he was flying the clouds. I don't know what was wrong with me at this moment that I could not talk to Grace about her night. I was stuck, it was as if my tongue had swelled and I could not speak.
Grace laid back and scooted to one side of her bed, resting her head on half her pillow and staring up at the ceiling. "You do not believe me", she said. I laid next to Grace and shared her pillow with her, grabbing her tiny hand with mine. "How do you know it was not a dream Grace? How do you know it was real?" , I asked. "Because when my head hurt bad, Joey put his hand on my head and the pain went away. He told me very soon I would not ever hurt again. And I believed him", she said with tears in her eyes, "Why can you not believe me?" I had no idea what to even say to Grace. I squeezed her hand tighter, trying to find the right words to express to her how I was feeling. "I do believe you Grace", I finally uttered, "tell me more about your walk."
"Joey told me not to be afraid when I am in God's waiting park. He said I will not be alone and that all the people we see right now are getting ready for their angel guide to come and get them to take them to heaven. That is where I will meet God he said. He said that our bodies do not go to heaven with us and that the bodies we see in the waiting park are temporary so I will not look like I do now so do not let that scare me. I asked him what I will look like and if I do not look like me how will my daddy's mommy find me? He told me that it will not matter what body I wait in, and that when my grammy looks in my eyes she will know that it is me. I asked him why I cannot have my own body to wait while I get to heaven. He told me that our bodies stay behind, because it is our soul that God wants. When we wait in the waiting room to get to heaven we finish making our souls pure. Some people have to wait longer there than others because they did not work on their faith and need more time in suffering for that. Joey told me that I will not be there long."
Grace let go of my hand. "You do not believe me Jett, I can tell, you know." I really was just a little stunned. In all honestly I do believe what Grace was telling me was true. "I do believe you Grace, I just am trying to remember it all so I can keep thinking about everything you are saying to me. I believe Joey has been with you for a long time", I tell her. "Grace, why did you want to do so much writing today? You were pushing me pretty hard to keep going."
"We have to be done in two weeks with my part of my journey. I want to be done before my thinking gets unclear from all the medicine I will get before I die", she said as if what she was facing was more of a reward to her than a punishment. She took my hand again as we laid side by side staring up at the ceiling. She turned over my hand and with her pointer finger she wrote an invisible word in my palm. She had me say the letter out loud to her that she was writing . . . B E L I E V E. "Do it", she said.
As we laid there resting, and she quietly drifted off to sleep I raced her words through my mind. Noting how carefully she choose them as she spoke them to me. She believed, dream or real, she believed. I do not know if it was a dream, but I believed. From the age of seven to fourteen, I struggled with what was a dream and what was reality. From the age fourteen to nineteen plus I was still confused as to what was true and what I wanted to be true. I struggled with what I wanted to be true, and what I wanted to be a dream. To this day I still struggle with the reality of what was true for the last seven years of my life when I lived in Iowa before I moved to Boston.
Grace was living the last 16 to 19 months of her life, suffering through not only the pain of her illness but also the thought of leaving her mommy and daddy here, in the hands of mother earth. Yet she believed in the path God has taken her down, holding faith and trust in his plan for her beyond earth. She was not angry, she did not feel sorry for herself, she did not wish to stay any longer than she was being allowed to be here. The only sorrow she held was her mommy and daddy that would be sad when she goes. She did not like the thought of seeing her daddy cry, or watching mommy cry as she sat with Grace's blanket around her shoulders. She has told me many times 'do not be sad for me', perhaps because she did not want to see me suffer the lost of my little angel sister.
I have a feeling our little Gracie will not be in purgatory (the waiting park) for very long at all. After all, when we die in the grace of friendship with God, this is where are souls are placed. The final task we have beyond earth, before heaven, is to fully purify our souls of all imperfections. Grace's soul is so pure, the only thing she has left to work on here on earth is to help others purify their souls in preparation for their journey to heaven. Knowing Grace has made my faith in God stronger. I trust more in His plan for me in my journey on earth. And I know, I should say I BELIEVE, that when I stray, or when I need help, my angels will help guide me as they have always done. I can only hope that as a guide angel, Grace is assigned to me, and between her and Joey, my journey will keep preparing me for the day I get to rest in God's 'waiting park'.
Purgatory is a place where souls go who have died in the grace and friendship of God. However, these souls still
We continued on with Grace telling me more of her thoughts and sharing more of her journey here on earth. She would have me read back what she had dictated to me, then make an adjustment to her words, had me read it again, and when she was satisfied with her thought in print, would move on to her next thought. A bit more than an hour had past and I asked Grace, "Do you mind if we take a small break? Clear our minds so we can start fresh again?" , I asked. "Yes, but let's hurry so we do not miss anytime today", she said in almost a panicky voice. "Grace, what is going on with you today? What are you feeling?" I asked her.
Grace looked at me as she sat up on the edge of her bed. I looked into her eyes, and like I taught her to read other peoples eyes, I wanted to not only read her eyes, I wanted to be in them, looking out, and seeing what she was seeing. She blinked once and held it tight. When she opened her eyes it was as if she'd been transformed into a different place. "I walked with Joey last night. We walked on a sidewalk made of clouds. By our sides as we walked were different colors of flowers. The grass was the prettiest green ever. There were benches everywhere and people were sitting on them. The people all wore white for their clothes. Everyone looked the same, except their skin and their eyes and their hair. All the colors we saw were so pretty, the prettiest colors ever. Joey said that when I die, this was where I would go and wait for him to come and get me to take me to heaven" , she said. I know the look on my face must of lead her to conclude that I was not believing what she was telling me. We found ourselves staring at each other, neither of us backing down from the stare, waiting for the other to speak. I believe Grace had a lot to say to me about this current revelation she had made to me, but was giving me the chance to speak first. I could not. My mind was racing because I do believe that Joey was with her last night. There were many nights that I know Joey was sitting with me when I was sick, or lonely, or missing him terribly. When I needed him the most, he was there for me, when he walked the earth, and now that he was flying the clouds. I don't know what was wrong with me at this moment that I could not talk to Grace about her night. I was stuck, it was as if my tongue had swelled and I could not speak.
Grace laid back and scooted to one side of her bed, resting her head on half her pillow and staring up at the ceiling. "You do not believe me", she said. I laid next to Grace and shared her pillow with her, grabbing her tiny hand with mine. "How do you know it was not a dream Grace? How do you know it was real?" , I asked. "Because when my head hurt bad, Joey put his hand on my head and the pain went away. He told me very soon I would not ever hurt again. And I believed him", she said with tears in her eyes, "Why can you not believe me?" I had no idea what to even say to Grace. I squeezed her hand tighter, trying to find the right words to express to her how I was feeling. "I do believe you Grace", I finally uttered, "tell me more about your walk."
"Joey told me not to be afraid when I am in God's waiting park. He said I will not be alone and that all the people we see right now are getting ready for their angel guide to come and get them to take them to heaven. That is where I will meet God he said. He said that our bodies do not go to heaven with us and that the bodies we see in the waiting park are temporary so I will not look like I do now so do not let that scare me. I asked him what I will look like and if I do not look like me how will my daddy's mommy find me? He told me that it will not matter what body I wait in, and that when my grammy looks in my eyes she will know that it is me. I asked him why I cannot have my own body to wait while I get to heaven. He told me that our bodies stay behind, because it is our soul that God wants. When we wait in the waiting room to get to heaven we finish making our souls pure. Some people have to wait longer there than others because they did not work on their faith and need more time in suffering for that. Joey told me that I will not be there long."
Grace let go of my hand. "You do not believe me Jett, I can tell, you know." I really was just a little stunned. In all honestly I do believe what Grace was telling me was true. "I do believe you Grace, I just am trying to remember it all so I can keep thinking about everything you are saying to me. I believe Joey has been with you for a long time", I tell her. "Grace, why did you want to do so much writing today? You were pushing me pretty hard to keep going."
"We have to be done in two weeks with my part of my journey. I want to be done before my thinking gets unclear from all the medicine I will get before I die", she said as if what she was facing was more of a reward to her than a punishment. She took my hand again as we laid side by side staring up at the ceiling. She turned over my hand and with her pointer finger she wrote an invisible word in my palm. She had me say the letter out loud to her that she was writing . . . B E L I E V E. "Do it", she said.
As we laid there resting, and she quietly drifted off to sleep I raced her words through my mind. Noting how carefully she choose them as she spoke them to me. She believed, dream or real, she believed. I do not know if it was a dream, but I believed. From the age of seven to fourteen, I struggled with what was a dream and what was reality. From the age fourteen to nineteen plus I was still confused as to what was true and what I wanted to be true. I struggled with what I wanted to be true, and what I wanted to be a dream. To this day I still struggle with the reality of what was true for the last seven years of my life when I lived in Iowa before I moved to Boston.
Grace was living the last 16 to 19 months of her life, suffering through not only the pain of her illness but also the thought of leaving her mommy and daddy here, in the hands of mother earth. Yet she believed in the path God has taken her down, holding faith and trust in his plan for her beyond earth. She was not angry, she did not feel sorry for herself, she did not wish to stay any longer than she was being allowed to be here. The only sorrow she held was her mommy and daddy that would be sad when she goes. She did not like the thought of seeing her daddy cry, or watching mommy cry as she sat with Grace's blanket around her shoulders. She has told me many times 'do not be sad for me', perhaps because she did not want to see me suffer the lost of my little angel sister.
I have a feeling our little Gracie will not be in purgatory (the waiting park) for very long at all. After all, when we die in the grace of friendship with God, this is where are souls are placed. The final task we have beyond earth, before heaven, is to fully purify our souls of all imperfections. Grace's soul is so pure, the only thing she has left to work on here on earth is to help others purify their souls in preparation for their journey to heaven. Knowing Grace has made my faith in God stronger. I trust more in His plan for me in my journey on earth. And I know, I should say I BELIEVE, that when I stray, or when I need help, my angels will help guide me as they have always done. I can only hope that as a guide angel, Grace is assigned to me, and between her and Joey, my journey will keep preparing me for the day I get to rest in God's 'waiting park'.
Purgatory is a place where souls go who have died in the grace and friendship of God. However, these souls still
