I look back at the time I got to spend with my little friend Amazing Gracie who at the age of eight lost the war with cancer. There were many battles between Gracie and her brain cancer in the almost two years of their fight with each and Gracie won the majority of those battles but in the end she surrendered to the war and they parted ways. Gracie earned her spot in heaven and cancer stayed left behind on earth. Many have let go of their battle after a courageous fight, I was honored to have been by Gracie's side the last six months of her life and in many ways blessed to have been able to observe her fight from so close to it.
My brother Joey died of lung cancer when he was 24 years old. I watched him lose battle after battle in the two years it took for cancer to win that war. I watched from a very different perspective then I did when I sat with Gracie during her fight. I watched as the little brother who had never heard of, or seen the presence of, someone's war with cancer. I watched my brother slowly lose his life not knowing that he was actually dying. I waited day after day, week after week, month after month for him to get better. I anticipated the day him and I could once again go to the park and play catch, or go to a movie, or sneak away and eat junk food until we felt ready to burst.
With Gracie I knew from the day I met her that she would die. By the time I had the privilege of meeting her she was already classified as a terminal cancer patient with just a few months to live. I was sad for her and I cried for her almost daily as I journeyed with her as she prepared herself to leave this earth. I never once gave way to the hope of ever seeing her graduate, getting married or having children of her own because from day one Gracie made it very clear to me that she was leaving us and going to live with GOD. At the age of eight years old Gracie had the strength of GOD himself and that along with the innocence of a child had helped her take her last breath, beyond a breath of life, that would carry her to a better place. A pain free, worry free, beautiful place for an eternity beyond the world who could not save her. GOD was saving her is something she covered with me more than once.
It was hard to even think of Gracie as only being eight. When I first started spending time with Gracie I wondered if she truly was an angel GOD put on earth to help me find comfort in a life that I felt had dealt me a losing hand. Day after day that I spent time with her I was amazed by her strength, her determination, her will. Not to live, but to die. I think to myself still today how while most of us were trying to live a better life, Gracie was trying to die with as much gusto as most of us were trying to live. I often still wonder ... where did Gracie get her faith in moving onto an eternal life beyond her breaths on earth?
Gracie left nothing in the balance as she exited her life on earth. The entire final months of her life that I spent with her, she continued to work on her eight year life to make sure there was no balance when she was gone. She knew she was leaving and she was determined to leave having everything all tidied up so no one felt left out of the life she lived while she was still here. I remember when I first visited Gracie at her home and walked into a bedroom that was as pretty in pink as a girl could ask for. I also remember the final day I visited Gracie at her home and saw how she coordinated the transition of that little girl bedroom into a guest room so her parents did not have the heartbreak of facing that room after Gracie was gone. I sat with Gracie in one of her final days on earth as she dictated to me the rest of her story for me to one day publish so the world would know how much joy and happiness she found in her short time on this earth and how blessed she felt that GOD was inviting her to come live with HIM.
Gracie thought of everything and everyone up until the day she died. She accepted the short life GOD gave her and she was honored to get to go live with HIM. She left this earth with enough instruction to get her parents through their lives and me through mine. Yes, Gracie was bossy and sassy and in charge of our friendship. Yes. Gracie was a child full of fun and games and laughter. Yes. Gracie was as girly as a girl could be. Yes. Gracie was an angel sent down from above us to spark in us our own fight in a world hungry for more of everything and less of nothing.
Gracie was one of the strongest, most unselfish Christians I had the chance of ever knowing. In the face of her own battle on earth she lived for others even knowing her own life was ending. Gracie trusted GOD so much she accepted that her time on earth was meant to leave it a better place. Gracie left after instilling faith and hope and love in the hearts of those who would never fully understand why HE took her so soon.
What was important to Gracie the day I met her was as important to her the day she left us. What was important to Gracie was the people that she was important to. The people that stood by her, sat next to, never feared her upcoming death, were the people Gracie comforted and the people she made sure understood that she loved them the same today as she did yesterday and would still love tomorrow even after she was gone. Gracie exited the earth with zero balance due, she gave back what she was given. When most of us were selfish enough to want to remain a part of her short life Gracie saw to it that we understood she would never forget what we brought to her life when we could of just up and walked away. Because walking away from sadness and pain is the easy way out, and she wanted to make sure we knew that she knew our decision to stay with her was painful as we watched her work her magic to die better than she had lived.
Zero Balance Due.
