I was really anxious for my date with Grace on Saturday. We had planned it so our date would be during the hours that always seemed to be where her strength held out the strongest. She had promised me she would be well rested, with the understanding that if she wasn't feeling her best, we would reschedule our date for another time. We had been texting each other throughout the morning, both of us excited to get to spend a fun day together. I would be her first date ever, and I was happy I would always be able to make that claim. When we talked about going on a date, she would giggle. I can not imagine what she thought a date would be like. Perhaps she related it to her barbies, and how she would fantasize about those dates.
We had reservations at Olive Garden (OG) and I think she wanted to go there for a couple reasons, one - she had never been to OG before and two - I had told her how when I was dating Kristy, that was our date place to go. We had even googled it a few times, to cover the menu. I would tease her about what kind of wine we should get with our meal. She always rolled those green eyes at me, and gave me that look. You know the look, the look that says 'you are so funny and charming'. OK, not THAT look, but the other one, as if she were thinking 'why did I ever agree to this date with you anyway'.
Not only was I looking forward to spending more time with Grace, I was also looking towards a day where our conversations would be casual. I loved listening to her tell me what to write in my notebook that I would blog, and share with anyone interested in Grace's journey. That being said, it would be great being with Grace where she was not dictating her story to me, but we were adding to her story and making a new memory. I thought about this on the drive over to Grace's house, and could not help but smile and feel much happiness that today, we would be together as friends first, secondary to our routine of documenting her life.
I had already stopped and bought Grace a little white rose decorated with pink ribbons corsage for our date. I had to special request one with just one rose, or they would be too big on her tiny wrist. The lady helping me with it chatted me up with a dozen or so questions before I finally put her mind to ease. "It is not for a prom, or a dance. It is for my little angel sister, I am taking her on her first date, and her favorite color is pink." She complimented me on being a good big brother, which always makes me smile, because I have always wondered had my baby sister not died, would I have been the best big brother to her she would need.
Corsage in hand, I approached Grace's house, slowing walking up the stairs of the front porch. I honestly thought she might possibly be waiting for me on the front porch swing, eager to get going on our date. Then I remembered, not only is Grace a girl, she is a girly girl, and she will be fashionably late. All the females in my life are always fashionably late. In fact, I am sure Brad Paisley's Waiting On A Woman was written with my dating life in mind. I was right and as I was invited in by Grace's father he apologized that his daughter must take after her mother, running late and getting a few last looks in the mirror. I gave him my theory on the Brad Paisley song and we shared a laugh over how every guy in the world probably had felt that way one time or another. Her father and I sat and visited for about 20 minutes waiting on my date to come out from her closet. He thanked me for being willing to spend time with Grace and let her experience a bit more of the life she will miss out on. If I could only express to her parents how it was my pleasure and I was honored to be chosen to spend this time with her. I told him to not worry about sticking around the house today, that they should run off and just have a date of their own and we could communicate via cell phones on how the day is going. If nothing else, Grace could come back to my house with me and spend some time with the Misfits, that she will never be able to get enough of.
Fashionably late, but not too late, Grace and her mom finally emerged into the family room of their home. She was all smiles, just the cutest little angel all decked out I have ever seen. Clearly Grace and her mother put some thought and time into her first date appearance. A plaid pink country shirt, cowgirl style blue jeans, and pink kicks! I could not help but notice as Grace walked she extended her legs out as she stepped towards me in her new pink kicks. "Pink kicks. Niiiice." I told her. "You look very pretty Grace, if you were my age I'd even say you looked GORGEOUS." She grinned ear to ear and then noticed the pink and white bag in my hand. "What do you have there in that bag Jett?" I reached in and took out the little wrist corsage and told her to put her arm out. She did this, and I slipped the flower over her hand, onto her wrist. "It is very pretty Jett, thank you for it."
I asked Grace if she was ready for her first trip to OG. "Yes I am. I am very hungry today too Jett, I hope you brought a lot of money along with you." She makes me laugh. "Typical girl, after all my money." I say to her. Grace kisses her parents goodbye and tells them she will be home late. We hold hands and head out to my truck. I compliment her on her choice of outfits and tell her how much 'I LOVE THOSE KICKS'. It keeps her smiling, and I suspect Grace also loves her new kicks. We get buckled in and we are off on our date. It's a short ride but not short enough that we do not fit in a conversation about today's events. I tell Grace we will eat leisurely, enjoy a good meal and some laughs, perhaps drink 2 bottles of wine, taking all the time in the world and not rush our meal together. "What is it with you and wine? You know I am not old enough for wine and I do not think you are either." She tells me. She acts like she is annoyed with me, but I can see the smirk on her face. "I think I want to drive your truck on the way home Jett, is that OK with you?" This is Grace trying to out wit me at my own game. We had formed this competition early on, and I think we both would agree, there could be no clear winner at this game between us. "OK." I tell Grace. "But you will not be able to drink wine." I get the typical eye roll from her, and give it right back.
We find a spot to park and just as I am about to ask Grace if she is ready to go in, I look at her and see tears in her eyes. I wanted them to be tears of joy, but I could tell something was going on and asked Grace if she was going to be ok. "I forgot my lid Jett, I wanted to bring my pink hat today." I instantly thought of how when I introduced Grace to Kristy, she was real upset because she was not wearing her hat, and Kristy's hair was so pretty to her. I was getting the feeling that Grace was going to have comfort issues out in public with the stares she would get from being bald, and revealing a few scars from her surgeries. I get out of my truck and open the back hatch and pull out one of my hockey lids. I walk around to Grace's door and open it, putting the hat on her backwards. "Total babe in that hat right there Gracie, does that feel better to you?" She gets out of the truck and grabs my hand. "Yes, thank you Jett. I am sorry I forgot to wear a lid today." I tell her there is no reason to be sorry and reassure her that girls often wear boys hats and coats when they are out on dates. I wipe the tears from her cheeks as we enter the OG. "We have reservations today, for Grace and Jett." I tell the hostess. We were being seated rather quickly and when we stood next to the booth Grace asked where she should sit. I told her she can sit on either side, and we can sit next to each other, or across from each other. "I would like to sit across from you so we can see each other in our eyes." She says. We sit and as I look across at my little angel, there is not much of her showing above the table. I convince her that a booster seat would be more comfortable for her when her food arrived. "After all", I tell her, "Kristy has to use a booster seat too you know." One she is boosted up and we can see each other better, we begin to look at the menu. I want her to experience the 5 course meal and tell her it will be a lot of food, but what we do not eat, they will let us take home with us. Grace thought that was just 'amaaaaazing' that we get to take some home to her daddy.
Our meal was delicious, all of it, from the Bella Limonata drinks to the Dolcini desserts. Of course there were plenty of leftovers, which was probably the most exciting part of our meal for Grace. She was sure her daddy would like all those leftovers. We spent a little over an hour and half in that booth, most of it talking about food and what things she liked and what things she might like to try next time. As we were enjoying our Dolcini desserts, our waitress spent a few moments with Grace, asking all the questions you would ask a little girl. They were having a nice visit on and off through out the meal so it did not surprise me when the waitress would come back every so often to ask Grace about her dish, and was everything tasting good. "How old are you Grace?" She would ask. "I am eight." Grace would let her know. The unsuspecting waitress told Grace, "Oh I thought you might be just six, you are so tiny." Grace sat back at this, and reached up to her head, removing my hockey hat and placing it on the seat next to her. "I have cancer and I will not live to the end of the summer." I do not think Grace meant any harm in the revelation, I think she is simply comfortable with the end of her journey approaching fast. It did not take long for tears to form in our waitress's eyes and Grace was quick to react to them. "It is OK, we are almost ready. We are almost finished writing my story. You can follow my boyfriends blog and read about our time together." I shook my head at Grace. "Boyfriend? Really Dude?" She smiled at me and then instructed me to get a pen and write down our blog site. When I was done doing this, she stood up on the booth seat and handed the site address to our waitress. She stretched her arms out and hugged her and told her 'do not be sad for me, be happy for me.' It was more then the poor lady could take and she excused herself and walked away. Before we would leave, Grace would ask another waitress to please tell our waitress to come to our table. Once she came back, fully recovered and composed, Grace stuck out her hand "It was very nice to meet you today. Thank you for our meal. I hope you will read my story someday." Our waitress smiled, gave Grace a hug, and told her she would be sure to look us up. Always having to have the last word, Grace smiled back at her and told her "I will see you again someday." Now, both myself and the waitress knew that Grace was not planning a trip back to the OG, and that her words were solid, and legit, and that someday the two of them would see each other again, in heaven.
With our meal behind us, Grace and I would do a few more fun things together, that she could cross of her bucket list. We would go to Kristy's house so Kristy's mom could give me a hair cut. They would ooh and ahh over her wrist corsage and talk about her kicks. I would offer to have my head shaved to match Gracie, but she would not hear of that. "Not everyone can pull this off you know." She would tease me. We would spend time at Frog Pond, walking around the walks and enjoying some warmer weather of the day. We would go to BU's campus and I would show Gracie around so she could see where I am during the day when she texts me asking me what I am doing right now.
Grace was getting quieter and quieter as we visited one place then another. I knew she was tired but I knew she didn't want me to know she was. She would drag this on until midnight, if I had not told her it was time for her to rest and maybe we can do this again sometime soon, only she could pay and drive. She smiled quietly and I knew I should get her home. Once we arrived at her house, and she was resting in her bed as I read her another chapter from Charolett's Web, a book she chose for me to read her based on a pig named Wilbur. She would stop me after one chapter, and tell me, "I had a lot of fun today, we did a lot of things together." I would reply, "Yes we did Gracie, and I had a great day with you. You are a real nice date you know." She reached out her hand and I took it. She asked me, "what was your favorite part of our day today Jett?" I told her very honestly, "my favorite part of this day, I would have to say, is your pink kicks. You really rocked them girl." She smiled and squeezed my hand tighter. "You know what my favorite part of our day was today Jett?" I squeezed her hand back, "what was it Gracie?" She closed her eyes and whispered "spending the whole day with you, that was my favorite part of our day." And she was out like a light, exhausted from the fresh air, the fun, the food, and the pure enjoyment of getting a break from thinking about all she has left to do, and focusing on how much she just did.
I kiss her goodbye and leave her house with mixed emotions on this day. How can one of the happiest days in your life, be so close to one of the saddest days you'll have in the last five years?
"Do not be sad for me. Be happy for me." It wasn't the first time I had heard Grace say those words, and I am sure it will not be the last. I think about Wilbur and Charlotte's friendship.
To sum it up, Wilbur is deserted by Fern, as she grew older and visited him less and less. It wasn't long and Wilbur grew lonely until one day he was comforted by a voice telling him 'I will be your friend'. The only thing wrong with this children's story, is I cannot figure out, which one of us is Wilbur, and which one of us is Charlotte.
I love you Gracie, and even though you have filled up my heart with so much love, and will continue to do so for the days that come, there is still room there for the pain of losing you.
We had reservations at Olive Garden (OG) and I think she wanted to go there for a couple reasons, one - she had never been to OG before and two - I had told her how when I was dating Kristy, that was our date place to go. We had even googled it a few times, to cover the menu. I would tease her about what kind of wine we should get with our meal. She always rolled those green eyes at me, and gave me that look. You know the look, the look that says 'you are so funny and charming'. OK, not THAT look, but the other one, as if she were thinking 'why did I ever agree to this date with you anyway'.
Not only was I looking forward to spending more time with Grace, I was also looking towards a day where our conversations would be casual. I loved listening to her tell me what to write in my notebook that I would blog, and share with anyone interested in Grace's journey. That being said, it would be great being with Grace where she was not dictating her story to me, but we were adding to her story and making a new memory. I thought about this on the drive over to Grace's house, and could not help but smile and feel much happiness that today, we would be together as friends first, secondary to our routine of documenting her life.
I had already stopped and bought Grace a little white rose decorated with pink ribbons corsage for our date. I had to special request one with just one rose, or they would be too big on her tiny wrist. The lady helping me with it chatted me up with a dozen or so questions before I finally put her mind to ease. "It is not for a prom, or a dance. It is for my little angel sister, I am taking her on her first date, and her favorite color is pink." She complimented me on being a good big brother, which always makes me smile, because I have always wondered had my baby sister not died, would I have been the best big brother to her she would need.
Corsage in hand, I approached Grace's house, slowing walking up the stairs of the front porch. I honestly thought she might possibly be waiting for me on the front porch swing, eager to get going on our date. Then I remembered, not only is Grace a girl, she is a girly girl, and she will be fashionably late. All the females in my life are always fashionably late. In fact, I am sure Brad Paisley's Waiting On A Woman was written with my dating life in mind. I was right and as I was invited in by Grace's father he apologized that his daughter must take after her mother, running late and getting a few last looks in the mirror. I gave him my theory on the Brad Paisley song and we shared a laugh over how every guy in the world probably had felt that way one time or another. Her father and I sat and visited for about 20 minutes waiting on my date to come out from her closet. He thanked me for being willing to spend time with Grace and let her experience a bit more of the life she will miss out on. If I could only express to her parents how it was my pleasure and I was honored to be chosen to spend this time with her. I told him to not worry about sticking around the house today, that they should run off and just have a date of their own and we could communicate via cell phones on how the day is going. If nothing else, Grace could come back to my house with me and spend some time with the Misfits, that she will never be able to get enough of.
Fashionably late, but not too late, Grace and her mom finally emerged into the family room of their home. She was all smiles, just the cutest little angel all decked out I have ever seen. Clearly Grace and her mother put some thought and time into her first date appearance. A plaid pink country shirt, cowgirl style blue jeans, and pink kicks! I could not help but notice as Grace walked she extended her legs out as she stepped towards me in her new pink kicks. "Pink kicks. Niiiice." I told her. "You look very pretty Grace, if you were my age I'd even say you looked GORGEOUS." She grinned ear to ear and then noticed the pink and white bag in my hand. "What do you have there in that bag Jett?" I reached in and took out the little wrist corsage and told her to put her arm out. She did this, and I slipped the flower over her hand, onto her wrist. "It is very pretty Jett, thank you for it."
I asked Grace if she was ready for her first trip to OG. "Yes I am. I am very hungry today too Jett, I hope you brought a lot of money along with you." She makes me laugh. "Typical girl, after all my money." I say to her. Grace kisses her parents goodbye and tells them she will be home late. We hold hands and head out to my truck. I compliment her on her choice of outfits and tell her how much 'I LOVE THOSE KICKS'. It keeps her smiling, and I suspect Grace also loves her new kicks. We get buckled in and we are off on our date. It's a short ride but not short enough that we do not fit in a conversation about today's events. I tell Grace we will eat leisurely, enjoy a good meal and some laughs, perhaps drink 2 bottles of wine, taking all the time in the world and not rush our meal together. "What is it with you and wine? You know I am not old enough for wine and I do not think you are either." She tells me. She acts like she is annoyed with me, but I can see the smirk on her face. "I think I want to drive your truck on the way home Jett, is that OK with you?" This is Grace trying to out wit me at my own game. We had formed this competition early on, and I think we both would agree, there could be no clear winner at this game between us. "OK." I tell Grace. "But you will not be able to drink wine." I get the typical eye roll from her, and give it right back.
We find a spot to park and just as I am about to ask Grace if she is ready to go in, I look at her and see tears in her eyes. I wanted them to be tears of joy, but I could tell something was going on and asked Grace if she was going to be ok. "I forgot my lid Jett, I wanted to bring my pink hat today." I instantly thought of how when I introduced Grace to Kristy, she was real upset because she was not wearing her hat, and Kristy's hair was so pretty to her. I was getting the feeling that Grace was going to have comfort issues out in public with the stares she would get from being bald, and revealing a few scars from her surgeries. I get out of my truck and open the back hatch and pull out one of my hockey lids. I walk around to Grace's door and open it, putting the hat on her backwards. "Total babe in that hat right there Gracie, does that feel better to you?" She gets out of the truck and grabs my hand. "Yes, thank you Jett. I am sorry I forgot to wear a lid today." I tell her there is no reason to be sorry and reassure her that girls often wear boys hats and coats when they are out on dates. I wipe the tears from her cheeks as we enter the OG. "We have reservations today, for Grace and Jett." I tell the hostess. We were being seated rather quickly and when we stood next to the booth Grace asked where she should sit. I told her she can sit on either side, and we can sit next to each other, or across from each other. "I would like to sit across from you so we can see each other in our eyes." She says. We sit and as I look across at my little angel, there is not much of her showing above the table. I convince her that a booster seat would be more comfortable for her when her food arrived. "After all", I tell her, "Kristy has to use a booster seat too you know." One she is boosted up and we can see each other better, we begin to look at the menu. I want her to experience the 5 course meal and tell her it will be a lot of food, but what we do not eat, they will let us take home with us. Grace thought that was just 'amaaaaazing' that we get to take some home to her daddy.
Our meal was delicious, all of it, from the Bella Limonata drinks to the Dolcini desserts. Of course there were plenty of leftovers, which was probably the most exciting part of our meal for Grace. She was sure her daddy would like all those leftovers. We spent a little over an hour and half in that booth, most of it talking about food and what things she liked and what things she might like to try next time. As we were enjoying our Dolcini desserts, our waitress spent a few moments with Grace, asking all the questions you would ask a little girl. They were having a nice visit on and off through out the meal so it did not surprise me when the waitress would come back every so often to ask Grace about her dish, and was everything tasting good. "How old are you Grace?" She would ask. "I am eight." Grace would let her know. The unsuspecting waitress told Grace, "Oh I thought you might be just six, you are so tiny." Grace sat back at this, and reached up to her head, removing my hockey hat and placing it on the seat next to her. "I have cancer and I will not live to the end of the summer." I do not think Grace meant any harm in the revelation, I think she is simply comfortable with the end of her journey approaching fast. It did not take long for tears to form in our waitress's eyes and Grace was quick to react to them. "It is OK, we are almost ready. We are almost finished writing my story. You can follow my boyfriends blog and read about our time together." I shook my head at Grace. "Boyfriend? Really Dude?" She smiled at me and then instructed me to get a pen and write down our blog site. When I was done doing this, she stood up on the booth seat and handed the site address to our waitress. She stretched her arms out and hugged her and told her 'do not be sad for me, be happy for me.' It was more then the poor lady could take and she excused herself and walked away. Before we would leave, Grace would ask another waitress to please tell our waitress to come to our table. Once she came back, fully recovered and composed, Grace stuck out her hand "It was very nice to meet you today. Thank you for our meal. I hope you will read my story someday." Our waitress smiled, gave Grace a hug, and told her she would be sure to look us up. Always having to have the last word, Grace smiled back at her and told her "I will see you again someday." Now, both myself and the waitress knew that Grace was not planning a trip back to the OG, and that her words were solid, and legit, and that someday the two of them would see each other again, in heaven.
With our meal behind us, Grace and I would do a few more fun things together, that she could cross of her bucket list. We would go to Kristy's house so Kristy's mom could give me a hair cut. They would ooh and ahh over her wrist corsage and talk about her kicks. I would offer to have my head shaved to match Gracie, but she would not hear of that. "Not everyone can pull this off you know." She would tease me. We would spend time at Frog Pond, walking around the walks and enjoying some warmer weather of the day. We would go to BU's campus and I would show Gracie around so she could see where I am during the day when she texts me asking me what I am doing right now.
Grace was getting quieter and quieter as we visited one place then another. I knew she was tired but I knew she didn't want me to know she was. She would drag this on until midnight, if I had not told her it was time for her to rest and maybe we can do this again sometime soon, only she could pay and drive. She smiled quietly and I knew I should get her home. Once we arrived at her house, and she was resting in her bed as I read her another chapter from Charolett's Web, a book she chose for me to read her based on a pig named Wilbur. She would stop me after one chapter, and tell me, "I had a lot of fun today, we did a lot of things together." I would reply, "Yes we did Gracie, and I had a great day with you. You are a real nice date you know." She reached out her hand and I took it. She asked me, "what was your favorite part of our day today Jett?" I told her very honestly, "my favorite part of this day, I would have to say, is your pink kicks. You really rocked them girl." She smiled and squeezed my hand tighter. "You know what my favorite part of our day was today Jett?" I squeezed her hand back, "what was it Gracie?" She closed her eyes and whispered "spending the whole day with you, that was my favorite part of our day." And she was out like a light, exhausted from the fresh air, the fun, the food, and the pure enjoyment of getting a break from thinking about all she has left to do, and focusing on how much she just did.
I kiss her goodbye and leave her house with mixed emotions on this day. How can one of the happiest days in your life, be so close to one of the saddest days you'll have in the last five years?
"Do not be sad for me. Be happy for me." It wasn't the first time I had heard Grace say those words, and I am sure it will not be the last. I think about Wilbur and Charlotte's friendship.
To sum it up, Wilbur is deserted by Fern, as she grew older and visited him less and less. It wasn't long and Wilbur grew lonely until one day he was comforted by a voice telling him 'I will be your friend'. The only thing wrong with this children's story, is I cannot figure out, which one of us is Wilbur, and which one of us is Charlotte.
I love you Gracie, and even though you have filled up my heart with so much love, and will continue to do so for the days that come, there is still room there for the pain of losing you.
