I knew early on Monday morning that today's visit to Grace in the afternoon would be one of our low-key days. I had sent her a text letting her know I would be about 30 minutes later than we had anticipated me being there. I knew I would get one of two answers from her, either 'you know I do not like it when you are late', or, 'OK'. When my cell beeped and I saw her 'OK' response I sent a text to her mom, asking if Grace was doing alright today. She responded that Grace had woke up with a slight fever during the night, and they were trying to rid her of it with sleep and baby aspirin. I let her know I would be a little late and if anything changes, just shoot me a text.
Grace was still in bed when I arrived to visit with her. I had left my backpack in my truck, and grabbed my guitar and my laptop for today's visit. When I entered her room and she saw me, and my gear, she smiled and in a little voice said "Oh, you have new song for me today. I see your laptop, who will we be creeping today?" She knew me well, and I liked that, it made me feel as if she was thinking at one point in her day about what our visit might consist of. I set down my guitar, sat myself down in the chair next to Grace, and fired up my laptop. "I want to introduce you to a friend of mine today that lost her mommy a little over a year ago." I told her.
Grace loves to learn things about other people and their lives. I often pick out a face book friend, or a family member, or a close friend and sit next to Grace with my laptop and creep their life. I have introduced her to many individuals in the past few months, and each time I do, she involves herself in their life through their pictures and their quotes. "Tell me about your friend Jett", she told me as she sifted through my friends pictures on her page.
I told Grace the story I know about this friend. How she lost her mother and how I watched her grieve through her comments on her page. How I befriended her to let her know she was not alone and that I had lost my brother Joey years ago and I still miss him. In learning more about my friend, I told Grace, I learned a lot about myself. How this friend was one of the few of mine that experienced the loss of someone they loved very much, just like I have. How she lost her best friend with her mommy died, just like I lost my best friend when Joey died. How even though she grieved openly, she stayed strong. How she accepted God's plan for her mommy to go to him. How she got married shortly after losing her mommy to a pretty cool guy who treated her well, and they honored her mommy during her wedding ceremony. "What do you like best about your friend Jett?" Grace asked. "I like that she doesn't mind being a friend to me. I like that even though I'm a dorky 19 year old college kid, she puts up with me and makes me smile lots." Grace smiled. "Then that is why I like her too. And you really are dorky."
Grace asked many questions about my friend, and when we came across a picture of her mothers resting place and headstone, Grace asked me if we should say a prayer for her. My heart always responds to how thoughtful Grace is in regards to others in the world. Here is this tiny child, in her last days of life on earth, and she wants to spend a moment of that time, praying for someone else. I tell her of course we can do that. "Dear God. Please take special care of Keri until she gets to see her mommy again. Please let her mommy know I am on my way and I would like to visit with her." Grace stops short of an Amen to her prayer and looks at me. "And God, please let all the daughters in the world get to have their mommies with them on their wedding days. Amen."
"I like your friend Jett, her pictures are fun. Her wedding was real pretty and there were lots of people getting married with her." It was at this point that I realized Grace has never attended a wedding. Not only would she never get to be the bride, she would never get to attend a wedding to see how beautiful it is when you witness two people make the promise to each other of a life time together, sharing everything they have, and everything they are, with the other. I explained the wedding 'party' to Grace and what roles they play in the ceremony, as well as the future, of the couple getting married. "I wish I knew someone who was going to have a wedding and we could go watch it together." Grace said as she took one more look at the wedding in pictures on my laptop. It took me half a second to make a mental note to find someone I know, or who knows someone, who is getting married in the next couple of weeks. Crazy thought huh? Perhaps, but with all our talk about weddings in the past month or so I really just wanted to find a wedding to take my little angel sister to. I would work on this, I told myself.
We cut our visit short today, because it was important that Grace continue to get an accurate amount of rest so she did not become sick enough to have to be hospitalized. I asked Grace if she would like me to stay while she sleeps. "Yes please", she replied to me, "you can sing to me for a little while and then you can leave." I'm not a great singer by any means. In fact, I've had buddies tell me 'dude, just because you can strum, does not mean you can sing. so don't'. But Grace never minded it at all. We sang together many times, and she always told me she thought our voices blended nicely. I always tried to find songs that were soft songs, where she could really listen to the words. Then I would give her the lyrics and she would read them. We always tried to find a story in the songs we sang, and she did a real good job of relating them to life. I warned her today that I would be singing a girl song to her, using my very manly voice. In My Daughters Eye's by Marina McBride. I told her I picked this song because when I visited with her mommy on Saturday after our date, her mommy told me that she "hopes Gracie knows how proud I am of her and how much she means to me". I told Grace how I thought about that for a couple days and I wanted to find a way to express to Grace what her mom was feeling.
I left that day with Grace fast asleep after hearing that song. I had laid the lyrics next to her so she would have them when she woke up next. I walked into the family room and asked her mom if she could please you tube that song for Grace when she was awake and feeling better. We talked a bit about our visit and I assured her she was sound asleep. With each visit to Grace at her home, I get a tighter and tighter hug from her mom when I leave. In my mind I wonder if those hugs are really meant for Grace, or if her mom feels the tighter she hugs me the longer Grace will be with us. Or perhaps it's because we both know the days are narrowing down and it will not be long when Grace will require hospital care to insure that her final days are painless and she will leave us with a final breath that will carry her right into eternity. What ever those tight hugs are about, I know I will miss them, because when I get them, I feel as if Grace is between me and that grieving mother on the other side of it.
Grace was still in bed when I arrived to visit with her. I had left my backpack in my truck, and grabbed my guitar and my laptop for today's visit. When I entered her room and she saw me, and my gear, she smiled and in a little voice said "Oh, you have new song for me today. I see your laptop, who will we be creeping today?" She knew me well, and I liked that, it made me feel as if she was thinking at one point in her day about what our visit might consist of. I set down my guitar, sat myself down in the chair next to Grace, and fired up my laptop. "I want to introduce you to a friend of mine today that lost her mommy a little over a year ago." I told her.
Grace loves to learn things about other people and their lives. I often pick out a face book friend, or a family member, or a close friend and sit next to Grace with my laptop and creep their life. I have introduced her to many individuals in the past few months, and each time I do, she involves herself in their life through their pictures and their quotes. "Tell me about your friend Jett", she told me as she sifted through my friends pictures on her page.
I told Grace the story I know about this friend. How she lost her mother and how I watched her grieve through her comments on her page. How I befriended her to let her know she was not alone and that I had lost my brother Joey years ago and I still miss him. In learning more about my friend, I told Grace, I learned a lot about myself. How this friend was one of the few of mine that experienced the loss of someone they loved very much, just like I have. How she lost her best friend with her mommy died, just like I lost my best friend when Joey died. How even though she grieved openly, she stayed strong. How she accepted God's plan for her mommy to go to him. How she got married shortly after losing her mommy to a pretty cool guy who treated her well, and they honored her mommy during her wedding ceremony. "What do you like best about your friend Jett?" Grace asked. "I like that she doesn't mind being a friend to me. I like that even though I'm a dorky 19 year old college kid, she puts up with me and makes me smile lots." Grace smiled. "Then that is why I like her too. And you really are dorky."
Grace asked many questions about my friend, and when we came across a picture of her mothers resting place and headstone, Grace asked me if we should say a prayer for her. My heart always responds to how thoughtful Grace is in regards to others in the world. Here is this tiny child, in her last days of life on earth, and she wants to spend a moment of that time, praying for someone else. I tell her of course we can do that. "Dear God. Please take special care of Keri until she gets to see her mommy again. Please let her mommy know I am on my way and I would like to visit with her." Grace stops short of an Amen to her prayer and looks at me. "And God, please let all the daughters in the world get to have their mommies with them on their wedding days. Amen."
"I like your friend Jett, her pictures are fun. Her wedding was real pretty and there were lots of people getting married with her." It was at this point that I realized Grace has never attended a wedding. Not only would she never get to be the bride, she would never get to attend a wedding to see how beautiful it is when you witness two people make the promise to each other of a life time together, sharing everything they have, and everything they are, with the other. I explained the wedding 'party' to Grace and what roles they play in the ceremony, as well as the future, of the couple getting married. "I wish I knew someone who was going to have a wedding and we could go watch it together." Grace said as she took one more look at the wedding in pictures on my laptop. It took me half a second to make a mental note to find someone I know, or who knows someone, who is getting married in the next couple of weeks. Crazy thought huh? Perhaps, but with all our talk about weddings in the past month or so I really just wanted to find a wedding to take my little angel sister to. I would work on this, I told myself.
We cut our visit short today, because it was important that Grace continue to get an accurate amount of rest so she did not become sick enough to have to be hospitalized. I asked Grace if she would like me to stay while she sleeps. "Yes please", she replied to me, "you can sing to me for a little while and then you can leave." I'm not a great singer by any means. In fact, I've had buddies tell me 'dude, just because you can strum, does not mean you can sing. so don't'. But Grace never minded it at all. We sang together many times, and she always told me she thought our voices blended nicely. I always tried to find songs that were soft songs, where she could really listen to the words. Then I would give her the lyrics and she would read them. We always tried to find a story in the songs we sang, and she did a real good job of relating them to life. I warned her today that I would be singing a girl song to her, using my very manly voice. In My Daughters Eye's by Marina McBride. I told her I picked this song because when I visited with her mommy on Saturday after our date, her mommy told me that she "hopes Gracie knows how proud I am of her and how much she means to me". I told Grace how I thought about that for a couple days and I wanted to find a way to express to Grace what her mom was feeling.
I left that day with Grace fast asleep after hearing that song. I had laid the lyrics next to her so she would have them when she woke up next. I walked into the family room and asked her mom if she could please you tube that song for Grace when she was awake and feeling better. We talked a bit about our visit and I assured her she was sound asleep. With each visit to Grace at her home, I get a tighter and tighter hug from her mom when I leave. In my mind I wonder if those hugs are really meant for Grace, or if her mom feels the tighter she hugs me the longer Grace will be with us. Or perhaps it's because we both know the days are narrowing down and it will not be long when Grace will require hospital care to insure that her final days are painless and she will leave us with a final breath that will carry her right into eternity. What ever those tight hugs are about, I know I will miss them, because when I get them, I feel as if Grace is between me and that grieving mother on the other side of it.
