You Were the Pooh to my Piiglet

If you've been paying attention to my blogs at all, you know my good friend Kim is losing her battle with brain cancer.  Please continue to pray for her and her family as she prepares to soar to heaven. 

To every thing there is a season,

and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; ‘
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance.

When I was at the lowest point of my life you stepped in and pulled me up and stood me on my feet.  You allowed me to lean on you for so many months.  You become a big sister, a substitute mother, a mentor, a friend.  You were the Pooh to my Piglet.  You were tough on me when I needed you to be. You never accepted my excuses when life for me was on a down hill spiral.  You gave me so many hours of your days when I needed you the most. 

I succeeded at so many things because you never left my side.  I accomplished so many things with your encouragement and support.  I faced my fears as you pushed me forward though a life I felt I could never achieve.  I set goals so far out of my reach because you helped me reach them by never letting me accept failure.  I opened my life in my blogs because you told me to trust people would not judge me.  I made it through the most difficult times with the loss of friends and family because you taught me we are born to die.

We talked for hours on end about everything and nothing at all.  We shared our biggest fears with each other and together we weakened them to nothing.  We accepted each other with flaws and understanding.  We got to know each others families and grew to love them like we loved each other.  We disagreed, we argued, we fought, we cried.  We pushed each other, we pulled each others strings.  We pushed each others buttons to help each other grow.  We talked about God, about life, about death, about eternity. 

I shared my life with you. You shared your life with me.  We became soul siblings, misfit from beginning to end.  The secrets we shared bonded our trust, allowing us to differ on so many topics yet respect each others opinions.  We prayed together, for each other, for our families, for our friends.  Together we came to trust God, even through the toughest parts of His plan.  We encouraged each other to trust God, allowed our minds to open up to His eternal plans of those he took from us. 

Twenty-one months ago God decided to take you from me.  I tried to hang on to you in every way possible.  I tried to keep you with me in anger, frustration, sadness, sorrow.  Slowly as the months passed by I began to lose you.  How would I ever make it through life now that God wanted to take you home to Him?  Why would God decide you and I no longer needed each other to make it through our days?  What did God have in store for me now that He was calling you home?  What is wrong with me that every time I put my trust in someone and give them all of me He removes them from my life?  Why did he cross our paths in the first place?  What does He want from me? What is the lesson this time?  Who will help me regain my faith when you are gone?  When will my heart ever be whole again, free from the pain of losing someone I love?

I cannot help but smile when I list our little pet names for each other, or when I think about how big of a nerd you always told me I was.  I cannot help but be happy for knowing you in this world and knowing that one day we will be together again in a Kingdom bigger than our friendship.  I cannot help but feel lucky that I even got to know you at all in a world separated by so many miles between us.  I feel as if I gained a whole new family of misfits in your family.  I want to be angry, I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to fold up back into that 14 year old neglected abused kid you took under your wing 10 short years ago. 

I don't want this to all end, but Kimberly Jean, please know, I would do it all over again even knowing the outcome of our friendships fate.  I love you and I thank you for allowing me to become apart of your life which to me, was bigger than the world.  I refuse to walk out of what you let me in on, I will never let go of all you have gifted with me.  You were my angel on earth and I know when you get to heaven you will be my angel in the sky.  I totally expect to see your cold little toes hanging over a passing cloud as you sit next to all that have journeyed to eternity before us. 

God Bless you my friend, and may he keep you in His loving arms as he carries you home.  "we got this"