He died before he was born. Little Thomas Charles, stillborn son of Charles and Allison. Charles (Cheesy) was one of the very first friends I made when I came out here to Boston. I was fourteen, he was fifteen. That was over seven years ago and he is still one of my closest friends. I was excited when Cheesy met Alli and to this day I still remember the love that poured out of his heart for her.
Cheesy is mute and Alli is a deaf mute. Cheesy lost his voice in a car accident that crushed his voice box and Alli was born a deaf mute. While neither one of them would ever be able to voice an I LOVE YOU to the other there is no question they both can feel in their hearts what neither of them can ever speak to one another. What one can hear the other cannot say, even if the other could say the other could not hear.
I remember the night Cheesy told me they were expecting a child. ( GOD'S PLAN ) He was nervous and proud, excited and worried, all the things you hear a first time new father to be is. I knew he would be an excellent father and Alli would be an awesome mom, it wasn't something I ever doubted. He would be as great of a father as he is as a friend. For seven months I enjoyed observing the happiness and love grow not just between Cheesy and Alli, but between the two of them and their unborn child.
This young couple was truly enjoying the pregnancy in anticipation of extending their family and they were excited at the thought of raising a child in the home where they would become a family. They were also gifting his brother Frankie and his new bride Cammie with a cousin to their one year old daughter Baylee. Choosing to wait until their child was born to know whether they would have a son or a daughter was not difficult, they would welcome either and love this child no matter what the gender. They built their baby room around an unknown gender using neutral colors, a room of nature. Greens, browns, a bit of yellow and a touch of blue. Stuffed animals such as giraffes, monkeys, lions and bears. In opposite corners of the tiny crib decorated in soft baby colors they placed a Thomas the Train stuffed toy in one corner and a Disney Jasmine doll in the other. No matter what the sex of this child, there would be a toy awaiting him or her at home to welcome more love into the lives of Cheesy and Alli. The happiness that oozed from my friends was entertaining to watch as it was warm to the heart. The anticipation of watching them raise a little cheese ball, boy or girl, was something we were all looking forward to come February.
But something went wrong with Alli's pregnancy. Something went very wrong. For a reason and purpose only GOD would know, this child was called home to heaven before he would even gasp a breath of life. Little Thomas Charles was stillborn just a few days beyond seven months of life inside the womb of the mother that now grieves for the child gone before he arrived. Nothing in life could ever possibly prepare you for your child going to heaven before you do (RIP Amazing Gracie). Planning the funeral service for your little baby boy that never came home has to be a challenge to your faith and everything you've ever prayed for, but never received. It would prove to be difficult to celebrate a life that never lived.
Baby Thomas's services were unique to me as I had never attended a funeral where the casket was fit for an infant child. Replacing traditional funeral hymns with baby lullaby's said it all. Rock A Bye Baby, Hush Little Baby, Lullaby and Goodnight, Close Your Eyes and Go To Sleep ... the list of songs I recognized went on and on. I walked up to honor Little Baby Thomas's life that never was. I thought about that baby room his mommy drug me into with each visit to their home, showing me any new additions she had made. I realized at that moment that Thomas the train was for little Thomas should the gender be a boy and Jasmine the doll was for little baby Jasmine should the gender had been a girl. It brought tears to my eyes as I walked up to meet baby Thomas, closed casket with that little Thomas the train toy sitting on top. I knew inside that casket he was wearing the little blue onsie from the day Cheesy and I sat in the baby room that would never hold the noises and smells of a new born child. Wrapped in the blanket his mommies mom made for him with anticipation of his arrival. It was heartbreaking to witness this service, as beautiful as it was. More heart breaking was turning around to face the parents of this little child gone.
A mommy and daddy that prepared themselves to never be able to utter an I LOVE YOU to their child but were determined to show their child the love they held for him. A mommy who took classes on how a deaf mother would care for her new born baby. A father who would hear the cries of his child but never be able to speak the words "hush little baby". Parents that could rock their new born child to sleep but never sing "rock a bye baby". I sat next to Allie. She took my hand into hers as if to silence anything I might say to her using my fingers and hands to express my sorrow for her loss. Allie provided me with a warm smile, a smile I returned to her as I handed her a note. It was a note I had made in Braille so I could express to Allie in a small quote that showed her I knew what this day meant to her. Allie took my note and laid it on her lap as she used her fingers to spell out "YOU ARE A NUT CASE" to me.
Allie knew the reason I had this quote etched in Braille on a blue note card. While Allie was a deaf mute, her sight was perfect. I wanted to provide Allie with something she could put into her memory box and take out on occasion to look at. It would remind Allie of the child she would have to wait to see again when she herself was called home by GOD. A reminder to her that what she cannot see she will be able to feel. She picked up the note card and ran her fingers across the words as she closed her eyes. The note, written in Braille, simply said A CHILD STILLBORN IS STILL A CHILD BORN. I stood up and as I walked away from Allie and Cheesy I heard a lullaby and these words that were spoken ...
Cheesy is mute and Alli is a deaf mute. Cheesy lost his voice in a car accident that crushed his voice box and Alli was born a deaf mute. While neither one of them would ever be able to voice an I LOVE YOU to the other there is no question they both can feel in their hearts what neither of them can ever speak to one another. What one can hear the other cannot say, even if the other could say the other could not hear.
I remember the night Cheesy told me they were expecting a child. ( GOD'S PLAN ) He was nervous and proud, excited and worried, all the things you hear a first time new father to be is. I knew he would be an excellent father and Alli would be an awesome mom, it wasn't something I ever doubted. He would be as great of a father as he is as a friend. For seven months I enjoyed observing the happiness and love grow not just between Cheesy and Alli, but between the two of them and their unborn child.
This young couple was truly enjoying the pregnancy in anticipation of extending their family and they were excited at the thought of raising a child in the home where they would become a family. They were also gifting his brother Frankie and his new bride Cammie with a cousin to their one year old daughter Baylee. Choosing to wait until their child was born to know whether they would have a son or a daughter was not difficult, they would welcome either and love this child no matter what the gender. They built their baby room around an unknown gender using neutral colors, a room of nature. Greens, browns, a bit of yellow and a touch of blue. Stuffed animals such as giraffes, monkeys, lions and bears. In opposite corners of the tiny crib decorated in soft baby colors they placed a Thomas the Train stuffed toy in one corner and a Disney Jasmine doll in the other. No matter what the sex of this child, there would be a toy awaiting him or her at home to welcome more love into the lives of Cheesy and Alli. The happiness that oozed from my friends was entertaining to watch as it was warm to the heart. The anticipation of watching them raise a little cheese ball, boy or girl, was something we were all looking forward to come February.
But something went wrong with Alli's pregnancy. Something went very wrong. For a reason and purpose only GOD would know, this child was called home to heaven before he would even gasp a breath of life. Little Thomas Charles was stillborn just a few days beyond seven months of life inside the womb of the mother that now grieves for the child gone before he arrived. Nothing in life could ever possibly prepare you for your child going to heaven before you do (RIP Amazing Gracie). Planning the funeral service for your little baby boy that never came home has to be a challenge to your faith and everything you've ever prayed for, but never received. It would prove to be difficult to celebrate a life that never lived.
Baby Thomas's services were unique to me as I had never attended a funeral where the casket was fit for an infant child. Replacing traditional funeral hymns with baby lullaby's said it all. Rock A Bye Baby, Hush Little Baby, Lullaby and Goodnight, Close Your Eyes and Go To Sleep ... the list of songs I recognized went on and on. I walked up to honor Little Baby Thomas's life that never was. I thought about that baby room his mommy drug me into with each visit to their home, showing me any new additions she had made. I realized at that moment that Thomas the train was for little Thomas should the gender be a boy and Jasmine the doll was for little baby Jasmine should the gender had been a girl. It brought tears to my eyes as I walked up to meet baby Thomas, closed casket with that little Thomas the train toy sitting on top. I knew inside that casket he was wearing the little blue onsie from the day Cheesy and I sat in the baby room that would never hold the noises and smells of a new born child. Wrapped in the blanket his mommies mom made for him with anticipation of his arrival. It was heartbreaking to witness this service, as beautiful as it was. More heart breaking was turning around to face the parents of this little child gone.
A mommy and daddy that prepared themselves to never be able to utter an I LOVE YOU to their child but were determined to show their child the love they held for him. A mommy who took classes on how a deaf mother would care for her new born baby. A father who would hear the cries of his child but never be able to speak the words "hush little baby". Parents that could rock their new born child to sleep but never sing "rock a bye baby". I sat next to Allie. She took my hand into hers as if to silence anything I might say to her using my fingers and hands to express my sorrow for her loss. Allie provided me with a warm smile, a smile I returned to her as I handed her a note. It was a note I had made in Braille so I could express to Allie in a small quote that showed her I knew what this day meant to her. Allie took my note and laid it on her lap as she used her fingers to spell out "YOU ARE A NUT CASE" to me.
Allie knew the reason I had this quote etched in Braille on a blue note card. While Allie was a deaf mute, her sight was perfect. I wanted to provide Allie with something she could put into her memory box and take out on occasion to look at. It would remind Allie of the child she would have to wait to see again when she herself was called home by GOD. A reminder to her that what she cannot see she will be able to feel. She picked up the note card and ran her fingers across the words as she closed her eyes. The note, written in Braille, simply said A CHILD STILLBORN IS STILL A CHILD BORN. I stood up and as I walked away from Allie and Cheesy I heard a lullaby and these words that were spoken ...
Go to sleep my baby,
Close your big brown eyes,
The angels are with you,
Looking at you dearly up in the skies.
Close your big brown eyes,
The angels are with you,
Looking at you dearly up in the skies.
The Great big moon is shining,
The stars begin to peep,
And it's time for my little Thomas
To go to sleep.
The stars begin to peep,
And it's time for my little Thomas
To go to sleep.
RIP Baby Thomas Charles
