Joey,
I miss you Joey, some day's more than others but everyday I miss you here with me. It seems it has been one of those days where everywhere I turn there is a reminder of the times we had before you kicked up your walk on earth a notch and went home to God.
This time it was something Lucy wrote on my facebook wall about her step-son learning his letters and drawing a picture. She wrote (and I quote her) "My Jimmy is just learning how to put letters together to make small words. Tonight he drew a blue stick figure person with about five suns all over in the pic. Then he wrote the letters "J O E L J" it was so wierd. I thought you would enjoy hearing that." I responded to Lucy saying that maybe you were looking over her and her family.
It made me happy in my heart that she still thinks about you and that you give her signs that you are still with us, only in a very different way. I know you are Joey, I believe with all I am that you are still near all of us that got left behind. I can feel you, it's almost as if I could reach out and touch the space you occupy. I don't know what I did, or what happened, that I cannot communicate with you like we were before Mom died. I keep trying to figure out what I could do differently. My faith is as strong as it has ever been. I miss you more than ever. I keep my mind open and my heart open so you can come in anytime you want to.
Remember when you were worried you would not get to go to heaven because you did not attend church? I asked Father Tom today when he came to the house to visit me and see how my injury is healing. He said absolutely God would still let you into heaven if that is where you were prepared to be. It was a great conversation about church and it reminded me of you and Aunt OJ talking about that when you were bedridden at the Bushnell house. We had a great visit about life and death and earth and eternity.
Father Tom even said something that makes complete sense to me regarding church and faith. I have many many friends who do not attend church but have a strong faith in God. He said that it's real sad that some people lose their faith because they are not attending the right church. Father said that there are many people who attend the same church they grew up with even though they do not believe what the church teaches but they do not feel right seeking out a church that is a better fit for them and how they choose to believe in the teachings of the Bible. I told him how you happened to come across the catholic teachings of the Bible through Aunt OJ. We decided you are right where you wanted to be for your eternal life and that it is the same place I am looking forward to when I get my eternal life with God.
I was telling Father Tom about the day you were coming over to the Bushnell house and you and I were going to take Mom out to eat for no reason other then she had never been to Miles Inn (Sioux City, IA) before for one of their famous Charlie Boy sandwich specials. I told him how you were late, and the later you were the more I worried about how short our time would be together. When you finally made it I was angry with you for being so late and limiting the time we would get to spend together before we had to be back home so "dad" did not get upset with Mom for leaving that day. Do you remember what you said to me? I do. You said "Kid, someday I will be waiting for you even longer than you had to wait for me."
Father Tom thought that was ironic, that I would remember those words you spoke to me. He said "And look at where he is today, and how he is in fact, now waiting for you. Do you suppose he feels he is waiting an eternity for you?" It made me smile Joey, because you are waiting aren't you? And I am sure you are more patient waiting for me then I ever was waiting for you.
After Father Tom left I thought about that whole waiting scene. I keep waiting for you to come back, and you are waiting for the day I come home to you. It's both a sad and a happy thought, but it makes me realize, we haven't given up on each other at all. We are still connected by our Faith as sure as we are connected by our blood. I have all our memories Joey, the good and the bad, and I think about all of them a lot. I wish our lives were easier in the Bushnell house but we had some great memories in the dirty Sioux too. For every memory that makes me cry or angry, there is one right behind it to make me smile and laugh. I like how so many things in my life still remind me of you or a moment in time we shared.
I just miss you big today Joey, even though I know you are with me, I miss you voice. I miss hanging around with you and Mikey and listening to you tell jokes and laugh about your day. I miss going over to your place and watching you and Mikey annoy Jake. I miss playing poker with you guys and taking all your pretzels, M&Ms, and Twizzlers when I won the ante pile. I miss laying next to you in the final days of your life talking about Jesus and how we have to be strong like he was when God took his life in order to save us from our sins. I miss you, just as much today as I did yesterday and just as much today as I will tomorrow.
ILY Joey, keep waiting for me and thanks for being patient while I continue my journey on earth.
Love, Jett
I miss you Joey, some day's more than others but everyday I miss you here with me. It seems it has been one of those days where everywhere I turn there is a reminder of the times we had before you kicked up your walk on earth a notch and went home to God.
This time it was something Lucy wrote on my facebook wall about her step-son learning his letters and drawing a picture. She wrote (and I quote her) "My Jimmy is just learning how to put letters together to make small words. Tonight he drew a blue stick figure person with about five suns all over in the pic. Then he wrote the letters "J O E L J" it was so wierd. I thought you would enjoy hearing that." I responded to Lucy saying that maybe you were looking over her and her family.
It made me happy in my heart that she still thinks about you and that you give her signs that you are still with us, only in a very different way. I know you are Joey, I believe with all I am that you are still near all of us that got left behind. I can feel you, it's almost as if I could reach out and touch the space you occupy. I don't know what I did, or what happened, that I cannot communicate with you like we were before Mom died. I keep trying to figure out what I could do differently. My faith is as strong as it has ever been. I miss you more than ever. I keep my mind open and my heart open so you can come in anytime you want to.
Remember when you were worried you would not get to go to heaven because you did not attend church? I asked Father Tom today when he came to the house to visit me and see how my injury is healing. He said absolutely God would still let you into heaven if that is where you were prepared to be. It was a great conversation about church and it reminded me of you and Aunt OJ talking about that when you were bedridden at the Bushnell house. We had a great visit about life and death and earth and eternity.
Father Tom even said something that makes complete sense to me regarding church and faith. I have many many friends who do not attend church but have a strong faith in God. He said that it's real sad that some people lose their faith because they are not attending the right church. Father said that there are many people who attend the same church they grew up with even though they do not believe what the church teaches but they do not feel right seeking out a church that is a better fit for them and how they choose to believe in the teachings of the Bible. I told him how you happened to come across the catholic teachings of the Bible through Aunt OJ. We decided you are right where you wanted to be for your eternal life and that it is the same place I am looking forward to when I get my eternal life with God.
I was telling Father Tom about the day you were coming over to the Bushnell house and you and I were going to take Mom out to eat for no reason other then she had never been to Miles Inn (Sioux City, IA) before for one of their famous Charlie Boy sandwich specials. I told him how you were late, and the later you were the more I worried about how short our time would be together. When you finally made it I was angry with you for being so late and limiting the time we would get to spend together before we had to be back home so "dad" did not get upset with Mom for leaving that day. Do you remember what you said to me? I do. You said "Kid, someday I will be waiting for you even longer than you had to wait for me."
Father Tom thought that was ironic, that I would remember those words you spoke to me. He said "And look at where he is today, and how he is in fact, now waiting for you. Do you suppose he feels he is waiting an eternity for you?" It made me smile Joey, because you are waiting aren't you? And I am sure you are more patient waiting for me then I ever was waiting for you.
After Father Tom left I thought about that whole waiting scene. I keep waiting for you to come back, and you are waiting for the day I come home to you. It's both a sad and a happy thought, but it makes me realize, we haven't given up on each other at all. We are still connected by our Faith as sure as we are connected by our blood. I have all our memories Joey, the good and the bad, and I think about all of them a lot. I wish our lives were easier in the Bushnell house but we had some great memories in the dirty Sioux too. For every memory that makes me cry or angry, there is one right behind it to make me smile and laugh. I like how so many things in my life still remind me of you or a moment in time we shared.
I just miss you big today Joey, even though I know you are with me, I miss you voice. I miss hanging around with you and Mikey and listening to you tell jokes and laugh about your day. I miss going over to your place and watching you and Mikey annoy Jake. I miss playing poker with you guys and taking all your pretzels, M&Ms, and Twizzlers when I won the ante pile. I miss laying next to you in the final days of your life talking about Jesus and how we have to be strong like he was when God took his life in order to save us from our sins. I miss you, just as much today as I did yesterday and just as much today as I will tomorrow.
ILY Joey, keep waiting for me and thanks for being patient while I continue my journey on earth.
Love, Jett
