Pinky Promise: "Gracie, when you get to Heaven and you are visiting with Joey on his birthday, you have to sing Happy Birthday to him from me."
As the days grew increasingly closer to the end of Grace's walk on earth we talked more and more about that day as well as the days after she was gone. Grace had asked me the question on one of our visits, "What do you think the day I was born on will be like for my mommy and my daddy after I die? Do you think they will make it happy? Or sad? Or pretend that day does not exist?"
"Well", I said to her, "I am always a little sadder on June 6 each year because that was Joey's birthday. How I make it through the day is to remember how fun it was for him and my mom and myself when he was alive. I always knew for sure on that day each year I would get to see Joey from the time he came to eat breakfast with me and my mom until after he ate dinner with us, my mom making him his favorite homemade meal."
"So you are both happy and sad on that day?", she asked me.
"Yes, Gracie, it is a very hard day still for me because even though I miss him everyday, on that one day, I miss him even more because it was a day we always shared together", I told her.
"I want you to be like that on my birthday too then, Jett", she bossed to me. "Do not forget me, it is still my birthday when I am gone, you know."
"Yes, Gracie, I know. I will always remember you, not just on your birthday, but every day before and after that day."
"Sing me the Happy Birthday song Jett, even though it is not my birthday."
And for the next 30 or so minutes Gracie and I sang and sang the Happy Birthday song. We You Tubed birthday songs for another 30 minutes at least. We listened to a lion, robots, animated characters, and celebrity's. We heard lots of different versions, many with different words outside of the original words we are accustomed to. We viewed a few tributes to those that have passed on. One thing we both agreed on, that there is nothing more special than the original traditional birthday song that family's sang as they gathered around their table, lighting the candles, and singing while the birthday person blows out those candles and makes a wish.
"What did you always wish for Jett?", she asked me. "Once I wished that my birthday cake was twice as big as it was, because I love cake. One time I wished that when my mom cut the cake, lots of money popped out at me. Mostly I just wished for everyone to have a good time", I answered. "What stuff did you wish for Gracie?"
"Well, I am not as old as you are but I remember my last birthday wish was that my mommy and daddy would have another baby. And the year before that I wished that I had prettier dresses to wear to school. Neither wish came true for me until Joey brought you to us. They get to have you for a son and I got three new pretty dresses since I met you", she stated matter of fact. Gracie always made me smile, "We cannot be brother and sister AND boyfriend girlfriend." I remember well the look she gave me and I knew what was, "Yes we can because I said so and the girls always are right." Who was I to argue with the boss. I know from ex girlfriends and sister-in-laws and a sassy little niece that girls really are the bosses.
I told Gracie I needed a pinky promise so as we hugged our pinky's I told Gracie she had to sing happy birthday to Joey in Heaven for me because I miss singing it to him. Deal. "But Jett", she would say, "you can still sing Happy Birthday to us when we are in Heaven. We will hear you, you know."
So this past June 6th, on what would have been my brother Joey's 29th birthday had he not died five years ago I went to the doughnut shop and bought a jelly doughnut with vanilla frosting because that was Gracie's favorite doughnut. At a minute before midnight, at the end of the day my brother had been born on, I stuck a single candle in that doughnut, lit it, and sang the traditional Happy Birthday song to my brother, knowing that I was in perfect harmony with my sweet little amazing Grace angel.
My wish? I no longer wish that no one will ever suffer the loss of someone they are close to and experience the pain, the loneliness, the emptiness and the broken heart that goes with the loss. Death is not an option, but living life is. It would be selfish to hope that no one will ever die and get to continue a journey through God free of pain and suffering and join him in eternal life. My wish was that those of us waiting to join our loved ones again someday in eternity would remember the good times, cherish the time we got to spend with them, and prepare ourselves so that once we arrived in God's park we would be that much closer to joining them in Heaven, once our angel guide came to get us.
Happy Birthday Joey, I love and miss you with everything I am. I love you Gracie, thank you for keeping our Pinky Promise.
As the days grew increasingly closer to the end of Grace's walk on earth we talked more and more about that day as well as the days after she was gone. Grace had asked me the question on one of our visits, "What do you think the day I was born on will be like for my mommy and my daddy after I die? Do you think they will make it happy? Or sad? Or pretend that day does not exist?"
"Well", I said to her, "I am always a little sadder on June 6 each year because that was Joey's birthday. How I make it through the day is to remember how fun it was for him and my mom and myself when he was alive. I always knew for sure on that day each year I would get to see Joey from the time he came to eat breakfast with me and my mom until after he ate dinner with us, my mom making him his favorite homemade meal."
"So you are both happy and sad on that day?", she asked me.
"Yes, Gracie, it is a very hard day still for me because even though I miss him everyday, on that one day, I miss him even more because it was a day we always shared together", I told her.
"I want you to be like that on my birthday too then, Jett", she bossed to me. "Do not forget me, it is still my birthday when I am gone, you know."
"Yes, Gracie, I know. I will always remember you, not just on your birthday, but every day before and after that day."
"Sing me the Happy Birthday song Jett, even though it is not my birthday."
And for the next 30 or so minutes Gracie and I sang and sang the Happy Birthday song. We You Tubed birthday songs for another 30 minutes at least. We listened to a lion, robots, animated characters, and celebrity's. We heard lots of different versions, many with different words outside of the original words we are accustomed to. We viewed a few tributes to those that have passed on. One thing we both agreed on, that there is nothing more special than the original traditional birthday song that family's sang as they gathered around their table, lighting the candles, and singing while the birthday person blows out those candles and makes a wish.
"What did you always wish for Jett?", she asked me. "Once I wished that my birthday cake was twice as big as it was, because I love cake. One time I wished that when my mom cut the cake, lots of money popped out at me. Mostly I just wished for everyone to have a good time", I answered. "What stuff did you wish for Gracie?"
"Well, I am not as old as you are but I remember my last birthday wish was that my mommy and daddy would have another baby. And the year before that I wished that I had prettier dresses to wear to school. Neither wish came true for me until Joey brought you to us. They get to have you for a son and I got three new pretty dresses since I met you", she stated matter of fact. Gracie always made me smile, "We cannot be brother and sister AND boyfriend girlfriend." I remember well the look she gave me and I knew what was, "Yes we can because I said so and the girls always are right." Who was I to argue with the boss. I know from ex girlfriends and sister-in-laws and a sassy little niece that girls really are the bosses.
I told Gracie I needed a pinky promise so as we hugged our pinky's I told Gracie she had to sing happy birthday to Joey in Heaven for me because I miss singing it to him. Deal. "But Jett", she would say, "you can still sing Happy Birthday to us when we are in Heaven. We will hear you, you know."
So this past June 6th, on what would have been my brother Joey's 29th birthday had he not died five years ago I went to the doughnut shop and bought a jelly doughnut with vanilla frosting because that was Gracie's favorite doughnut. At a minute before midnight, at the end of the day my brother had been born on, I stuck a single candle in that doughnut, lit it, and sang the traditional Happy Birthday song to my brother, knowing that I was in perfect harmony with my sweet little amazing Grace angel.
My wish? I no longer wish that no one will ever suffer the loss of someone they are close to and experience the pain, the loneliness, the emptiness and the broken heart that goes with the loss. Death is not an option, but living life is. It would be selfish to hope that no one will ever die and get to continue a journey through God free of pain and suffering and join him in eternal life. My wish was that those of us waiting to join our loved ones again someday in eternity would remember the good times, cherish the time we got to spend with them, and prepare ourselves so that once we arrived in God's park we would be that much closer to joining them in Heaven, once our angel guide came to get us.
Happy Birthday Joey, I love and miss you with everything I am. I love you Gracie, thank you for keeping our Pinky Promise.
