It's here. Mothers Day 2015. That time of year when "motherless" sons and daughters are reminded of the loss of a love so great it can never be replaced. I'm sure there are a lot of first timers of Motherless Day reading this. A day where you silently stand by and witness all the joys of others celebrating this special day that honor mothers of the world and all they do for us. A day where mom's don't cook, mom's don't clean, mom's don't lift a finger unless its to provide a hug to their sons and/or daughters. Where mom's get flowers, visits, dinners out, desserts in.
If you're a first timer to Motherless Day you will find yourself grieving all over again for the mom you wish back to earth, back into your journey. You will cry, be sad, get angry, ask God why. You will fill empty in your heart and see constant reminders of your mom being gone from your physical world. There is no denying on this day that she is gone. You will face it head on as you see all the other mother's around you being treated like queens today. There is no more escaping what you have been so far denying. Your mom is gone. There is no spending today showing your mom how much you love her and appreciate everything she has done for you. Gone. Forever. Put to rest.
If you're not a first timer to Motherless Day you will still grieve but you will be able to comfort your aching heart as you remember why you miss her so much. You will spend time today thinking about all the ways you love your mom and your mom loves you. Memories she left with you, memories you kept with you. It's just as painful as the first Motherless Day you had since your mom went to heaven, you just have learned to deal with it on a whole new level. You miss her just as much but you reach deep into your heart and pull out memories of days gone by.
The warm coats in the winter, the long walks in the summer. The special birthday cakes made for your special day, the homemade cards made and written with love from you moms heart. The meals she made you the clothes she washed for you. The hands that did everything out of the love in her heart for you. So many memories that only a mother could give you. Each day since she passed you cried and you laughed and you missed her and the love she showered upon you.
You walk alone in your journey thinking about how much you loved her and how much she loved you and you marvel t the thought of how many times you felt so much love for her yet once she was gone you found how you loved her even more than you fathomed when she was her with you. You honor her everyday and even though you know there is one day set aside each year for mothers you think about how mothers should be honored every day. You find yourself thinking about how much wiser you became after she died only to realize it was she who taught you everything you know about life, about love, about death. She taught you all you know about sadness and heartache and happiness.
You wonder why you could not see how valuable she was to your life when she was still beating inside her heart. How you could not see that you are who you are because of your mom, only to realize that upon her death. You realize now how much you are like her, the things that brought you closer, the times you shared with her. You realize now that she is gone that you were capable of giving her so much more of your heart, share so much more of your life with her. You are now aware of not just how much you loved her but how much she loved you. You realize now that she was more than a mother, she was also your friend.
It doesn't ever get easier my friends but it gets more bearable. Let the tears fall for as long as you need too. Let the sadness strings pull at your heart. Let the memories, good and bad, seep out of your hearts and into your minds. Cherish the memories of times spent with your mothers and allow yourself to relive as many moments as you can between the tears. Honor your mother this day, and every day, until you meet her again in an eternal life that will end your fears and tears of a life on earth in the absence of your mother.
I love you Mom and I miss you every minute of every day. What I didn't get to say to you when you were here with me is how much I love you and am thankful for everything you left with me to survive in my motherless world. Love you to the heavens and back. RIP ~ Jett
