It is a fifteen minute drive from Brookline to West Roxbury, destination St Joseph's Cemetery. Beyond the wall that clearly marks this land as that of St Joseph Cemetery. Along the road lined with big old trees that leads to thousands of headstones in this cemetery whose birth dates back to 1818. To the left of the road that veers to the right beyond a freshly dug grave plot lies the marker of one of God's children called home before her life barely had begun. This is the site of little Gracie's final resting place. This is where her parents chose to rest her in peace.
It truly has to be every parents nightmare, to decide where to peacefully lay their child who was invited by God to his home before themselves. Gracie's fate had long been decided and death was certain to reach her before she reached the age of nine. Bill and Annie, Gracie's parents, were facing what would certainly be one of the toughest decisions of their lives. Where would they bury their only child? It is not a question most parents would ever have to ask themselves. Bill and Annie were very young themselves and had no plan for their own deaths let alone one for their daughter. While death is always certain, and very unpredictable, I don't think it is something anyone really plans for when they are in their twenty's.
Facing the demise of your young daughter has to be hard enough and then to have to decide where to lay her to rest and in what manner, would only add heartache to an already breaking heart. I watched as Bill and Annie went through this difficult task. Deciding to buy three plots, side by side by side, so that one day the markers would lay in a row, Bill to the right of Gracie and Annie to the left. Their precious child would rest between them one day, when they themselves are called home to God.
Gracie's marker is in the shape of a heart which is truly reflective of who she was. Her mission in her short life was to reach everyone's heart, to touch everyone's heart, to remind them you can never love enough to fill up the capacity of your entire heart. An angel hangs over the top of the heart, to remind Bill and Annie of the angel who left them, but left her heart behind. A beautiful marker tribute to their little girl gone from her earth's journey and now loving them from her journey beyond a breath of life.
We invited Bill and Annie to spend Father's Day with us Misfits. When the Misfits get together for a BBQ and touch football it's as if there has never been sadness in any of our lives. The laughter and smiles are endless and the bonding just unfolds in a natural way. I was extremely happy when Bill and Annie decided to join us. My thoughts were simple, just because Gracie left earth did not mean Bill was no longer a father. He is her daddy for life and that carries right into eternity. Bill had every right to be honored on Father's Day, along with the rest of the fathers. It goes without saying. I felt that if I invited them over to Mikey's, along with all of us Misfits, he would be honored along with all the father's that day.
There were days when Gracie and I were together that we did nothing but sit in silence. On some of those days Gracie worked on her portion of the story of her life. In her little journal she titled "My Daddy" Gracie would write the most loving things to her daddy, as she did in the journal she titled "My Mommy" too. One day when our book is published, you will see for yourself the love they held for each other. Since the day Gracie left us to go be with God and all those that went before us I sit and read all the things Gracie wrote that one day she would like the world to know about the life of the little girl, before they read about the death that took her away.
On occasion I will take a post-it note (pink of course) that Gracie used to write a thought, or a note, that would be included in our book and give it to Bill or Annie. Something to keep Gracie's smile in their heart, even if it made a tear drop from their eye, as it often does to me. I felt Father's Day would be a great day to slip a note to Bill, a gift from his little princess who was now an angel of God. I searched through several of her notes and the writings in her daddy journal.
I selected a one page 'open' letter from Gracie to her daddy. It was a thank you letter she wrote to him for the time she asked him for a daddy/daughter date. I remember how excited Gracie was the day before their big date. "I am going to wear my blue jeans with the sparkly pockets. I am going to wear my new yellow shirt my Auntie Amy gave me. I think I will wear my tan knit hat, I always like that one. I hope I do not get to tired on my daddy date, I guess you should go now so I can get all my rest." I was excited for the next time we would get together so she could tell me about her big date. It was hard not to be excited for her, the way she carried on.
The note Gracie wrote and left for her daddy so that one day he would be reminded of the fun they had would bring tears to the eyes of even the most unsentimental person. Words from the heart expressing to her daddy that were simple and brief yet so meaningful. "The time we spent together on our special date seemed like it lasted a life time daddy, yet the minutes felt more like seconds to me. It was the best time of my life!" While that is just a portion of her thank you note, you get the picture of just what that time with her daddy meant to her. What was fitting for this note to be handed to Bill on this Father's Day was the PS added to the already special message.
When we passed the gifts we had for our 'dads' on this day we watched as they opened the work boots, the homemade cards, the ball caps, the polo shirts and the golf tees. The big dad hugs and the big dad smiles on the day we honor them, acknowledging how much we need them in our lives. With Bill and Annie sitting side by side, her hand on the center of his back, rubbing it with all the love she could give a childless father I hesitated handing him the little envelope with the big note in it left him months ago by the princess he lost to a world beyond a breath of life.
I had to do this, for Gracie, she would want this for her daddy. She would want him to have a reminder about the love for him she kept in her heart and for the love she left in his. I passed the envelope to Bill as I watched him smile at all the father love being spread around the Misfit table. I could see the sadness in his eyes, no doubt thinking about his little girl gone. The longing for her little hugs, her big smile and her never ending giggles. I watched as Bill opened the envelope and took out the little note with the neatly written letter to him along the lines on the paper.
Together they read the note in silence, with Annie's hand still placed on the center of Bill's back. She was no longer rubbing his back as she was just moments ago but had stopped as if she was now feeling the beat of a very sad heart. Tears filled their eyes as they continued to read. A single tear rolled down the face of the daddy who was being honored by his child in heaven. The silence that fell upon the Misfit Father's Day picnic was broken by our own little misfit princess Olivia, who looked up in the sky as she said "Gracie" as the big fluffy clouds rode by in a breeze above us. Olivia clapped her hands together excitingly with the other misfit kids joining in. It was as if Gracie needed her daddy to hear the applause of tiny little hands clapping together, celebrating his day. It was typical Gracie, stopping by and making sure the hearts beating in that back yard were filling up with more love then we ever knew it could possibly hold.
Matthew 19:14
But Jesus said,
“Let the little children come to me and do not
hinder them, for them to, such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”
