"You are defined by your courage and
you are redeemed by your loyalty."
This blog is written with so much anger and sadness towards those children in life that are privileged in their lives but fail to realize what that means. So many things that we as young adults have today are so materialistic to our wants in life that we often fail to recognize who provides us with our needs. So I am going to try to lay it out for you in terms you can understand. I realize the majority of my blog followers are adults and I ask that you please find a why to get this blog in the hands of your children, your grand children (and in Marvin's case your great grand children), and perhaps any young person you know who struggles with wants and needs and who should and who does provide them in their lives.
I realize that not all young adults have the guidance a parent commits to provide when they become parents. I myself got to the age of fourteen in a home with two parents, one abusive and the other not. My mother provided me shelter and food and home schooling as long as she could before my birth dad decided I should leave. I wanted nothing more in my first fourteen years then to be loved by my birth dad. I had everything I needed living in that Bushnell house back in Sioux City IA, void of his love. The one thing I am thankful for is that I didn't know what I wanted, I just knew I had what I needed.
I know of many kids who were raised by someone else other then their birth parents. A grandparent, An aunt or uncle. A sibling. An adoptive family. In my case I was taken in and raised by my brothers friend Jake who I loving refer to as my dad. With the help, love and support of several other people in the life I lived from the age of fourteen to twenty-two I never wanted or needed anything more then what they provided. I think about what I do have and I can list them under the privileges column in my life very easily.
Most everything I needed can be recognized as the basics in life. Shelter, food, clothing, education and LOVE. I understand very clearly that having a vehicle to drive, a guitar to play, the ability and means to play hockey, a gym membership and cash in my pocket are privileges for me. Those were things that I wanted and I was willing to go without because there were other things that were needed by others in my household. My dad works hard to be able to support himself and not just me, but his great nephew as well. He has never received a penny for taking on my life and providing me with the support he has for the last eight years. I have also never heard him complain about raising a kid he didn't bring into the world.
I am far from the perfect kid and I can recall the many nights I ran home through back allies to try to make curfew. On the few occasions I never made it and the doors were locked I would climb through the kitchen window I had left unlocked 'just incase'. I even broke that window on a couple of occasions. I was grounded for those times I never quite made it home on time because going out with my friends was a privilege and I abused that privilege. I remember slamming my bedroom door out of anger and my dad removing that door because having a bedroom with a door on it for privacy was also a privilege and it was disrespectful to slam that door for two reasons (1) it really isn't my door and (2) it was not fair to my dad to be angry at him for grounding me because I broke the rules. There are many times I had been grounded and a few of those times occurred when I was 18, 19, 20 years old. I didn't think that was fair until I was reminded I was still living in someone else's house which is a privilege least I forget that.
There were so many more needs I would need that I never realized were needs. I had a roof over my head, I had many electronic devices, my guitar, cash in my pocket and all the food I could stuff in myself and a gym membership to burn all the calories right back off. The things I needed in my life, and still need today, can only come from the love and support of a parent or guardian. I never realized how much pushing I would need to get me through my high school years. I never realized all the rules and the punishments I received were also needs I would have to have to build myself into the adult I am today.
A parents responsibility is to get their kids raised right. To provide them with the tools they need to become good citizens, decent human beings, and appreciative of the fact their needs were taken care of and their wants (privileges) were provided to them at the sacrifice of their parent or guardian. Most kids have very little to worry about getting to adulthood. Their meals are cooked for them their laundry is done and their gas tanks are filled, not to mention that strong roof over their heads. Taking these things for granted is somewhat expected because it has just always been that way. But at what point in your life do you stop and realize what you have and how you obtained it.
You may not get to attend college, it just might not be in the cards for you one way or another. You may not get to drive the car you want but you should be thankful you have a car to drive. There are lots of things you may want in life and you may or may not get them. Instead of fretting over what you don't have, try to remember what you do have. Loving parents who care about your future. A bed to sleep in. A dinner table to sit at. Clothes to wear. Your needs have always been given to you unselfishly, without a thought, you've not ever had to wonder where it would come from. So next time you don't get what you want, remember what you have.
Remember this as well, your parents deserve to be treated with the utmost respect for the life they have provided you. They are not your friends, at least not until you are raised and making your own decisions. You owe it to them to be honest, no lies. Be truthful with them about everything they are involved in, in your lives. Being a parent is a non paying job as far as a cash payout but the reward comes from the way they raised you. Treating them with anything but respect, even when you are not in agreement with their decisions on how they get you to adulthood, is not an option. Don't crush the soul and break the heart of those that love you unconditionally and never ask you for anything in return outside of showing them respect and being thankful for what they provided you.
Take a moment and follow this link and after you wipe away the tears in your eyes, call your mom, your dad, or anyone who has helped get you to where you are today. The Greatest Job in the World is Priceless
