For Whom Will You Pray For Today

Defining the meaning of the word pray is as difficult as it is to teach someone how to pray.  My definition of praying is talking to God, thanking Him for something or asking Him for something.  I have never been one to pray that I pass a test, or pray that I don't get grounded, or pray that my car starts in the morning.  I have spent a great deal of time praying for myself.  I pray to God for strength in the toughest of times, that I come out stronger, better, more humble.  I pray to God for understanding and patience as He guides me along my journey.  I pray to God that I grow in His teachings, that my faith in Him remains strong, grows inside me as I grow as a person.

I also pray for others that I cross paths with on my journey.  I pray for their inner peace, their health their strength to get through their own trials and tribulations.  I pray that they will continue to grow their love and faith in God. I pray that they will find God if they have not, or that God will bless them in their lives, even when they do not carry the same believes in the promise of an eternal life when they have taken their last breath of life, when they have gone beyond a breath of life.

The most rewarding time I spend with the Misfit Little's is teaching them their prayers.  Working with each one of them until they have memorized a prayer and can explain to you how the prayer relates to their lives is refreshing to my soul.  Watching them putting into practice each prayer they learn in their daily lives is endearing to my heart.  Going to visit them and they bring their little Bibles to me to read them a story, or read a story to me is a gift to the faith I carry inside of me. 

The time I spent with Gracie was full of prayer.  We prayed every time we were together and it was as natural to us to do this as it was to journal our journey together.  Gracie had her own idea's of prayer and how to pray for others.  We took the newspaper that was delivered to her parents house everyday and read the news stories of real life.  This is how Gracie found to whom she would pray for that day.  The man on the motorcycle who crashed his bike.  The bank workers that were held up and robbed.  The Bruins hockey team that suffered a loss.  The missing dog.  The guy trying to sell his camper.  We combed through that newspapers as if we were angels in charge of everything printed. 

It was not just tragic events that Gracie wanted to pray for that day.  It was the newly engaged couple.  The taxi driver that turned in the wallet full of money.  The church that raised money to help the elderly couple pay their medical bill.  The little girl who sold lemonade to help the soldiers overseas.  There was no one Gracie did not want to pray for.  The fortunate, the not so fortunate alike, they would all receive her prayers.  Our prayers, as she taught me that I too should pray for someone every day.

"When you say your prayers, you need to pray for others, in case they do not pray for themselves," she told me on several occasions.  "God would want us to pray for everyone, not just for ourselves." 

It made perfectly good sense to me, that we should pray for others too.  There are a lot of people who may not know about the power of prayers.  There are many people who may think that when it comes to prayers, they only need to pray when they are in need of something.  They may forget that they should also pray when they have received something. 

I loved to hear Gracie make up prayers, wing it if you will, on the days when she was too tired or to sick to read through the newspaper with me. 

"Dear God,  today we are praying for all the people who slept under bridges last night.  We pray that they someday will be able to sleep in a bed, with warm covers and soft pillows."

"Dear God, we are praying today for all the people who overslept this morning and did not think they had time to say their prayers."

"Dear God, please take care of all the animals that nobody wanted today.  We pray they will find good homes and know they are loved."

Gracie was never short on her prayers and to whom she sent them to.  I got to thinking today about Gracie's prayers.  I had to sift through all the things that I ever heard Gracie pray for.  She prayed for all the Misfits, she prayed for family and friends, she prayed for strangers.  I wondered had Gracie ever prayed for herself?  I found a page where I had written of a time where Gracie did indeed pray for herself.

"God, I want to ask you for something in my prayers tonight.  I want you to make sure my daddy and my mommy always love each other.  When I get to come and live with you, they will need you to help them be strong and to remember they loved each other before they had me to love.  I want for you to make sure they remember to pray for each other.  Amen."

As I read that paragraph now I realize that even when Gracie prayed for herself, she was praying for others.  Other people's needs, other people's guidance, other people's faith.  Prayer to Gracie was like little favors between her and God.  She never bartered as others sometimes do.  She never said 'if you do this, I will do that'.  Gracie knew, deep in her heart, that prayer is about thankfulness and love.  That praying meant talking to God, asking Him to help her, help others.  After all, is that not what God wants from us?  To spread His love, His Word, His Message.  What better way to give away a prayer then asking for God's help, so you can better help Him? 

So, for whom will you pray for today?
 

A Rollercoaster Ride Of Grief

Wikipedia, in giving a universal definition of the word grief, talks about the bond one has made with someone, or something, that upon its absence creates the emotional feeling of loss, commonly referred to as grief.  There are many other sources that refer to grief as deep sorrow, or keen distress, or deep suffering.  There are books, articles, lectures, and support groups that all provide a service to help you deal with the feeling of grief you may be experiencing.  You can find information regarding the seven stages of grief, or in some cases the five stages of grief, to try to help you find comfort in the emotional stages you may, or may not, experience going through the experience of loss in something, or someone, you love that has been removed from your life.

Most often you will not attempt to understand the pain associated with grief until you have actually experienced a life event that has taken you through the pain of a loss so great you find yourself helpless in not just how you respond to the loss, but how you deal with the loss.  You will undoubtedly cross paths with someone who is grieving and may attempt to feel their pain, but you will never truly feel the pain of grief until you yourself have experienced the loss of someone, or something, so important to your everyday breathes of life.

I have written several blogs where I have tried to help others feel the pain of someone I know who has felt the pain of grief in their lives.  I guess I feel that through all the emotional grief I have seen and felt I should try to help others understand that grief will fall upon us all and when it does we will all handle it very differently even though the emotional pain will be the same.  To try and compare one man's grief to another is pointless.  It would be like trying to compare one child's excitement over a trip to Disney World over another's.  Everyone's ride is different.

I am currently feeling the emotional pain and grief of losing my mom three years ago this coming November.  I have found peace with her being gone although I have moments in time that I long for her to be back on earth, in my physical world.  I have many friends who no longer have their mom's in their lives for one reason or another.  Most of my Misfit Family members no longer have their mom's in their daily lives either.  Adrian and Avery's mom took her own life after their brother took his.  That is how she dealt with her grief.  Charlie's mom walked out of his life when he was single digit age and his step mom never accepted him as one of her own.  James mom just doesn't remember to be part of his life.  Brady and Bobby's mom was in and out of their lives before she finally just packed up and left them to fend for themselves. 

When I think about how much I would like to have my mom in my life again and think about how I lost her to the Circle Of Life and how many kids no longer have their mom's in their lives because their mom's simply left them alone in the world, it makes the pain in my heart of losing her that much more hurtful.  If that isn't painful enough, I watch others in my life get to continue their journey's with their moms next to them.  I watch as my friends prepare to head off to college and the excitement of their moms for them.  I watch as kids go about their summer activities with their moms right there to support them.  I watch as my neighbors play outside with their children.  I hear stories of moms making dinner for my friends and coworkers.  I listen as a coworker picks up his phone, just to call his mom to tell her he loves her, for no reason at all.

I also watch as sons and daughters treat their mothers with disrespect.  Demanding this and that as if its their mothers purpose to make their lives pleasurable and rosey.  I hear others talking about how they haven't spoken to their moms in over a month.  I have a coworker who is mad at his mom because of something she said no to him for, he hasn't spoken to her since and that was back in April.

I would like to shake them, wake them up from their selfishness.  What I would not give to hug my mom and pamper her for no reason at all.  What I would not give to call her up just to tell her I love her.  What I would not give to stand in front of my mom and apologize for not being respectful to her like she taught me to be to others.  What I would not give to say thank you for all the times my mom told me no and it resulted in making me a better person.  To walk down the street with her, to sit down to a nice dinner, to have her involved in my college years.  To have her standing out in the crowd as I meet success because she is the one that instilled success in me.  To thank her for showing me how to survive life's ugly moments and be thankful for the beautiful moments. 

To have my mom back in my daily walk of life would be the only miracle I would ever ask for.  To deny her the time she is now spending in God's enteral life plan would be the most selfish thing I could ever do.  Stuck between wanting my mom in my physical world and knowing she is exactly where God placed her, in my spiritual world.

I think about and miss my mom every day since she has passed.  I thank God everyday for the time he allowed me to have her with me.  Do I ever miss her more some days over others?  Yes, I do.  It's a rollercoaster ride of grief that I hold in my heart for my mom.  Some days I miss her terribly and cry from the emotional pain the valleys of this ride takes me and some days I smile big and proud from on the peaks of the happiest memories I have of when my mom was on my journey with me.

Time heals no wounds, time mends no broken hearts.  Time does not take away the emotional grief we hold in our hearts.  There is no hour glass in the world that will ever run out of sand for the limit on how long our grief will hold us back, or carry us forward. 

I miss my mom.  It's as simple as that.  And in spite of how much love our hearts are capable of holding, there is room in there for just as much pain when you miss the people whose love fills it up. 
 

Tidbits Matter

Eight miles to the SE of Seattle you will find Mercer Island, at least I did this Sunday morning.  I'm not even sure why I took I-90 that lead me straight into Mercer Island but it just felt right.  The sun was just starting to peek out at me as I reached the Island located in Lake Washington.  An Island whose population is slightly over 24,000, but tourist traffic could easily exceed that number on any given day.

I could tell as I drove into this community they took a lot of pride in the appearance of their Island.  I could also detect a bit of loyalty to their local business's when I took note of a McDonald's that was located near a little off the beaten path shack that served breakfast specials all day long.  While there were plenty of cars at the McDonald's, there was a line of people waiting to be seated at the local eatery.  I choose to drive by both in hopes of finding a Starbucks that Seattle is so famous for.  I was not disappointed less then 5 minutes later.  I parked in their lot and bought a Caramel Macchiato.

I set out on foot for a nice touristy walk on an Island that made me feel welcomed as I strolled along my way.  My intent this morning was to sneak off and clear my mind as I prepared myself for another day of mingling around a conference in hopes of getting one step closer to publishing my book.  Gracie's and my book in fact.  A fresh start and a new outlook to any day can so easily be obtained by venturing off into territory unknown.  Looking for something but expecting nothing.  Mercer Island proved to be that place for me today.

I'm not sure how other people work but when I set out to clear my mind I play little games with it, to distract it from life's hustle. 

Today I set out to find the littlest tidbit of information out that anyone was willing to throw my way.  I didn't care what it was, I didn't guess at what it could be, I didn't really think about anything more then how low on my list of interest could I go before some stranger offered it up to me.  I would have to talk to a lot of different people, and fast, to sort through all the information they would be willing to share with me.  I knew there would be plenty, as I have played this game with my mind several times.  What I really enjoyed about this little self created game is that it offered me a look at life from a different angle.  It often brought my mind to the phrase "don't sweat the little things".  A reference to help us look at what truly is important in life and how we tend to let the little things that do not matter interfere with our ability to seek out the things in life that matter.  The things we can control, the things we can change for the better.  Yes, the little things in life that fall into our laps to help disguise the more important things that DO indeed matter.

During my walk around a very small portion of this Island I would run into several people on various occasions in their day that would provide my mind with the distractions I was looking for.

Mary.  A woman probably in her 80's, weeding the flower beds that hung from the front window seals of her house.  "Good morning ma'am, lovely flowers you have blooming there."  I was sure I startled her, seeing a little jump in her before she turned toward me.  "Thank you young man, it keeps me moving and it pretty ups our street."  I visited with Mary for about 10 minutes after introducing myself to her.  Short and sweet, keeping the focus on Mary, she offered me a tidbit.  A starting point to my game.  "A lovely little Island you have here."   Mary responded, "Yes it is she offered.  There was a time when you had to row your boat across the waters to shop for your fresh fruit.  Now we have so many fruit stands around we barely have to leave our front yards to enjoy the states fruits." Note to self: buy some Rainier Cherries. 

Tom.  A man I guessed in his 50's, mowing a fine yard of grass that he obviously took pride in.  "My dad would die for a lawn that plush and green," I offered him.  "I have three sons, you would think they would stop by and help their old man mow.  I'm probably better off doing it myself anyway, I know what it takes to look this way."  "You have a nice day Sir,"  as I took a mental note to be sure to help my dad with our lawn back in Boston now and then.

Jamie and Tuffy:  A little girl I guessed to be about ten and her bulldog Tuffy, who I guessed could rip my head off if I bent down to pat 'it' on the head.  As I walked toward them, and them towards me, I smiled.  "Hi Sir, are you having a good day?"  I smiled back, a bit of fear in it wondering just when that bulldog was going to leap at my face.  "Having a great walk, thank you.  You are up early this morning."  Jamie pointed to her dog "Tuffy woke me up for a walk.  I brought him out to shut him up."  I told her that was nice of her to look after Tuffy and I am sure her parents and Tuffy appreciate that.  "Oh I don't do it because I want to Sir, I do it because I have to."  

I walked until I reached a corner with a mom and pop shop on it.  I went in and bought a pack of gum, a water, and of course, a Babe Ruth bar.  "Can I have that in a bag please?", thinking that was a simple request.  "Oh you must not be from here.  Plastic bags are outlawed here.  We use paper bags but they are more expensive so we use them sparingly", she said.  I introduced myself.  Margie was probably in her 40s, a bit old fashion for her age I felt, but very firm in her stance against me thinking I needed a paper bag for my items.  "Your candy bar will be gone before you hit the end of the block, your gum will fit into your pocket and as soon as you put down your coffee you will want to start drinking that water", she offered. 

Thus started a thirty minute conversation on the passing of the ban of single use plastic bags.  I didn't even know they were called single use plastic bags.  I just wanted one for my purchase.  This is nonsense I told Margie.  "When you set your prices I am sure you include the cost of having to bag the items up for your customers."  Margie smiled big "no, when we set our prices we set them so we can afford to pay for that boat my husband thought he had to have at the beginning of the rainy season. The boat we have taken out on Lake Washington ZERO time in the 2 months we have owned it."  I laughed along with Margie.  I told her that her honestly in her pricing structure was appreciated and that while I needed to move along in my day I hoped that soon her and her husband would have that boat out on the lake.  "Have you named your boat yet?" I asked.  "No", she said, "we are still thinking about that."  I asked her if I might offer her a suggestion as a name.  "Sure sweetie, what did you have in mind?"   I smiled, "Prices Too High".

We shared a final laugh and I got a hug from a stranger that was just one of life's beautiful moments.  "You come back and see me sometime sweetie when you have a couple days to go out on our boat" she said, "and meet our daughter."  I walked away shaking my head, waving to her.  "I just might do that Margie."

Driving back to Seattle, with a clear mind and refreshed outlook at the task ahead of me, I could not get the smile off my face.  One moment, one person, one hug.  Isn't that all we really need in life now and then?  Even if it comes from a complete stranger on unfamiliar ground, at 6 in the morning just as the sun is rising over your head, it was enough to provide me with a new light. 

My tidbits. Days of rowing across the waters for fresh Washington State fruits.  Sons who should be mowing their fathers lawn.  Little girls who HAVE to walk their pets.  The ban of the use of single plastic bags.  Tidbits of information that matter not to me, but matter to those that shared them.  I ate my Rainier Cherry's on the way off of Mercer Island (which by the way were handed to me in a single use plastic bag).  Thinking about mowing our lawn when I get back to Boston. Thinking about returning someday when I have a couple free days and making sure that that boat got named.

I thought about my little mind game regarding tidbits.  How I try to decide which tidbit I uncovered matter the least to me.  How I always felt tidbits are so mundane, so unimportant in my life.  It did not take me long to realize that tidbits do matter.  Tidbits matter to me, tidbits matter to the people I get them from and tidbits matter to everyone.  Tidbits are what brings us together, forms the bonds of friendships, erases the title of stranger.  Tidbits offer us a bit of information to start a conversation.  Tidbits teach us about life, about each other.  Tidbits are conversations topics we keep in the back of our mind for when we run into someone we have nothing else to offer.

Tidbits matter.