My little misfit sister Alex's first birthday without her mom is today, October 25. Everyone who loves Alex, everyone who loved her mom and loves her dad, will be wishing her a happy birthday, most likely with tears in their eyes. We feel bad, we feel sorry, we hope this bitter sweet day, although very sad, will bring back memories of birthdays passed that she got to have her mom physically here with her.
I was nineteen when my mom died. My misfit dad Jake was eighteen when his mom died. Mikey's kid were three, four an eight when their mommy died. It's a story that you hear all to often. Young children losing parents. It tears at our hearts and we try to find answers as to why. It's never easy, and it's always painful. Those that try to comfort you, that have never lost a parent, no matter their age, mean well, but they just have no idea.
I remember when my Uncle Sam lost his grandson at the age of 24. He said to me "no parent ever wants to have to bury a child. Well you know what Uncle Sam (R.I.P), no child ever wants to have to bury a parent either. The truth is, no one really wants to ever have to bury anyone they love.
Sista Alex, I am so very sorry that you will be walking your journey without mom. In the ten years I have know your family you know I have always loved your family connection. I remember how excited mom was for your birthday, so excited she even took a whole week off from work to celebrate it with you.
I don't know if she ever got it accomplished but I remember last year for your birthday she wanted to get you a Harry Potter hat cake. She talked about that all month long. I always knew what you were getting, most of the time you did too. Because that is how mom worked. Every year we would talk about how quickly you were growing up. As frustrated as she would get with you Alex, she sure was proud of all your accomplishments. Made me proud to be your misfit bro.
Sista, you should know, mom is still proud of you. She is still with you everywhere you go. I wish I had words of wisdom I could share with you. I wish I could tell you that the first birthday without your mom is the hardest. But it is not. Every year is hard. You just have to reach deep down and dig up all those memories you shared with her every year on this day. Embrace those great times you got to spend with her and know that in your heart, she is there. The memories you shared with her in the physical world are the same memories you share with her in the spiritual world.
It won't get any easier as you come upon the first year of first without you mom. The sadness and tears will still fall, but as you go on year by year, you will learn to remember who she was in your life then, and who she is in your life now. Same person you loved and cherished on earth, you love and cherish in heaven. Mom's only gone physically and even though that is where you want her, you will learn to appreciate that God gave her to you at all. You will always be spiritually connected to mom. You will always try harder, just to make her prouder. Her smile will always be looking down on you as you accomplish the things she knows you can.
Happy Birthday Alex! Stay strong and stay true to your faith. You are your mom in so many ways. Honor her with greatness. Love you Lil Sista.
