Sunday, October 14, 2012

Family: The Life We Live Is The Death We Die

We live.  We die.  We live forever.  Those three sentences make life sound so simple, so why does life sometimes feel so hard?  While all of us are walking our own journeys on earth, I believe when we reach the Promise Land our journeys will all be the same, in a unique manner.  Just as Gracie and I talked about what job God will give us when we get to His House, I believe everyone who transitions from the human form to a spirit form will have a different function in their eternal life beyond their breath of life on earth.

We live.  We are born into a world that is uncertain as to what our fate is on earth.  I cannot even attest to the possibility that we are all born in good intentions.  The only thing for certain is that we are born into a fight for survival no matter what privileges or lack thereof we are provided.  Even though the majority of us know death is certain to follow life, not many of us prepare ourselves for any form of life after death.

We die.  If you are born, you are certain to die.  That is a certain not many of us even attempt to argue.  The minute we are given life is the moment we begin to die.  We tend not to think in those terms as we continue to live our lives on earth. We do not plan for our deaths outside of what material and financial possession we own and what we will do with them once we are no longer around to enjoy them.  We fail to think about and plan what will happen to us beyond our last breath of life on earth.

 We live forever.  Eternity is a long time.  Ask anyone who has waited for test results of any means.  That educational test score that will determine your position in college for a more stable future.  That medical test result that will determine your next move in securing a healthy life. That long wait in life to find and be with the love of your life forever.  The long awaited anguish of a work negotiation that will make or break our current success. We all use the term eternity as if there is no end in sight for the things we want or need to continue to live our life to the fullest. 

I can not tell you how many people in my life have "waited forever" or said "it's taking an eternity to find out".  In the scheme of things everything I have ever waited an eternity for is nothing compared to the eternal life I will live once I take my final breath on earth.  It is funny to me to hear people talk about "living life to its fullest" as if once their life is gone, there is nothing to follow it. I often wonder 'if you can speak about eternity for personal gain in your life, how can you not believe in life after death?"  After all eternity is forever right? So keeping your mind closed to there being eternal life after you die you really are just cheating yourself out of preparing to walk with angels and be a guide to those whose life on earth is still in existence.

I'm not really sure what those that do not believe in eternal life thinks about what happens to you when you die.  Perhaps they do not believe in anything, that just as you were born, you die and that is the end of life.  Born on the earth, left on the earth.  Maybe some believe that based on the life you live you either ascend above and sit in heaven with God forever or you descend below and sit in damnation with the devil.  Just as there are some who believe in a higher power there are others that do not.   I wish I could tell you what makes some people believe and others not believe but it is a mystery that may never reveal its answer.

I was not raised with religion although my mother and I used to stop and rest at a church along Morningside Ave in Sioux City IA when we walked from our Bushnell house to the public library at least once a week but often two or three times.  I could not tell you even today what denomination that church was or even if it still exists today but I will always remember the beauty of the interior, the peace I felt sitting outside that church, and the wonder of whose house we were resting at.

I knew of God and I knew that He was the One who people counted on to bring them through hard times.  I never questioned His existence,   I just never had the inclination to find out more about Him.  When I started to wonder more about God and who He was and how He fit into my life was when my brother Joey was terminally ill with lung cancer.  In Joeys final days he came to live with us in the Bushnell house where he slowly faded from our lives.  Our mother tried to keep him comfortable and keep him fed as he laid day after day in the bed he grew up in.  Our 'dad' paid very little attention to Joey and often criticized our mother for the amount of time she spent with him that took her from keeping an orderly house and giving her time to care for our 'dads' needs.

Joey had very few visitors while he was with us at the Bushnell house, mostly because our 'dad' was an SOB with no heart that Joey's friends feared.  His two faithful friends were Mikey and Jake (who is my care giver now and I call my dad).  It was hard for Mikey to sit with Joey because it made him very sad and he could not keep his emotions in check. He would visit often but the time they spent together was void of memories of the good times and was focused only on the now.  Jake came by on and off and usually would sneak Joey a beer.  I always thought that was cool and I always thought that was a cure for Joey because it always made him smile the whole time they sat and driank a beer together talking about the things that lead them to a lifetime friendship.

The time I spent with Joey was limited because of our 'dad' chasing me away from spending time with Joey.  Sometimes Joey would get up and open his window so later that night I could sneak in and lay with him even though we never spoke a word.  Then I would get caught and be punished for disobeying our 'dad'.  I didn't care though, the time I got with Joey was worth every punch I took.  Even when our 'dad' would tell me "you never learn your lesson" I would be glad to take another punch while thinking to myself  'no, it is you who never learns any lessons'.  I was a rather chubby kid and climbing in that window at night was always a task and I often wished Joey was strong enough to pull me through it.  But again, with out the pain there would be no gain and I wanted to spend time with Joey before life took him from me.

Another regular visitor to Joey was the friend I call my A.OJ.  (Aunt Jewels).  In all honestly she was the one unexpected person to enter my life that has made the hugest impact on my belief in God than any other one individual will ever make.  She used to come over often to sit with Joey and visit him just to keep him company.  She never let our 'dad' deter her away from spending time with Joey as most of his other friends had.  Maybe it was because of her age and he didn't think he could intimidate her.  I remember one visit where I was in Joey's room and she came and Joey asked her about God.  He wanted to know if she thought God would forgive him for his wild days and allow him to go to heaven.  I don't remember her answer but from that day on when A.OJ came to visit Joey they spent their time reading the bible together.  I would sit outside his door and listen to them read and pray and try to figure out what life after death for Joey would be like.  That is the first time I heard of eternal life but not the last time I would think about it.

The thought of eternal life to me sounded like a great idea.  My imagination ran wild with the thought of someday being back together with those I already lost in my life.  Jacelyn, my three year old sister and Jayson, my twenty-four year old brother.  I would see them again and after realizing this I never doubted life after death again.  As each person in my life has passed since this revelation in my soul my faith has only grown stronger.  Eternal life would someday be mine and I would be with everyone I missed again.  Those thoughts never ease the pain or sadness of those I miss, but they make me be a better me.  I live closer to the Word of God more and more each day.  I am not perfect and as A.OJ would tell my dad again and again, "Jett is a good kid, but he is kid, and he is a boy.  He will make mistakes, and your job is to make sure he has the tools to find his way again."  (She has saved me many times from the wrath of the man who is now my dad.) 

I was fourteen under the care of my 21 year old brother, 1500 miles from the Bushnell house when I found God through a small neighborhood church that turned out to be a catholic church.  They accepted me into their place of worship and helped me complete the sacraments I needed to prepare myself for eternal life at the hands of God.  I received the sacraments of Baptism, Eucharist, Reconciliation, and Confirmation.  I serve as an Alter Server at Mass, I am a Lecture assigned to read the readings of the Old Testaments, and I am currently taking classes to be a Minister of Communion to home bound members of that church who are determined to keep their faith strong in times of weakness and illness. 

I do not ever remember not believing in God and the eternal life he will provide me one day.  I do remember the day it was introduced to me by eavesdropping on a conversation between a friend of my brother and his dying pleas for acceptance into God's world.  I believe the life I lived prior to the age of 14 and being chased from my childhood home and landing a days drive from the mid west to the east coast was to prepare me to be a better Christian.  I believe if you are in my life there is a reason for you to be.  Whether it is for me to gain from having you in my life or for you to gain from having me in your life, our paths crossed for a reason.  Each person I meet, face to face or social media to social media, has many things to offer me through faith and humanity.  I respect your beliefs even if they do not match mine.  At night when I lay my hand on my bedside bible the prayer I say if for everyone I meet.  Those that are close and those that are far away.  Those that walk the same path as I do and those that walk a different path.  Those that believe in God and those that carry doubts of a higher power guiding them.

Sure as our hearts beat our time on earth ticks away.  Like an hour glass with its sand to determine the hands of time, as one half empties the other half becomes full.  As life on earth slowly leaves us, our life of eternity gains momentum.  Everlasting life will be ours and eternity will last beyond a life time, beyond a breath of life on earth we will someday breath the air in Heaven sitting in the House of God.

Eternal Life will be worth all the suffering and pain we endure on earth.  Just as no one can escape death, no one can escape eternal life.  See you on the other side my friends, until then, just be kind to one another and let others be who they are and judge not least ye be judged.  

In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.
(John 14:2,3)


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I do not write to spread my sadness on earth, I write to share my journey to heaven.