Faith: God's Will : The Truth Will Set Us Free

 “We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties.” 

 ~ Oswald Chambers

There have always been so many times in my life when I have asked God "why me, Lord?".  It seemed that every time something did not go well I would ask that question of God.  I've had plenty of moments in my life thus far that have made me fall to my knees in despair and seek an answer on why bad things always seemed  happen to me.

The changing moment for me on how I look at those things in life that 'always happen to me' was probably just last year when my little earth angel Gracie left her journey on earth to continue it in heaven with God and all those he allowed to come home to him at some point in their journey.  Perhaps it was because I had the honor of walking the final months of her journey on earth with her.  Gracie was so full of God's Grace and so unafraid to go to him that I am sure it was through her that God filled me with His will.  God's will comes first, and if it happened, it happened because that is the path He set in front of me.

Through all the other deaths I have lived through (a baby sister, two older brothers, my mother, my good friend Connor, and many many others), I always took the deaths so personal.  When Gracie died, as painful as it was to lose that little life, I knew she was at peace, free from pain, and the cancer that took her would no longer invade her space.  I miss Gracie just as much this moment as I did the day she died, and as much as I will in the years until I join her in the skies above.  However, through her death I have come to know God's will.

In the last few years I have taken the time to study prayers and how to say them and what to pray for and what not to pray for.  I have had friends ask me how to pray, and how they know their prayers have been answered.  Recently my friend Steve made the statement that he prays but it seems that God always tells him no.  I have very few friends who focus on the religious part of their being, and Steve is one of them.  I find inspirations in the links he shares and often visit those sites, spending hours reading the testimonies of those providing that inspiration.

My standard answer to those seeking the protocol of prayer is that it doesn't really matter how you pray, God knows what you are asking for.  God knows why you are asking, and God knows what your spiritual needs are.  There are times in my day where I simply stop what I am doing, close my eyes, and say the Our Father or the Hail Mary, for no particular reason at all.  Then there are those times in my day that I find myself at the church, on my knees, venting to God in prayer for something that is heavy in my heart.  In the warmer weather I will lay back in the lounge chair on the deck at my house and look up in the sky and just quietly whisper the names of those that left earth, but remain in my heart.

It does not matter where you are when you feel the need to pray, or what you are dressed like, or who you are with. A quick look up towards the sky in a moment of frustration or a quick sign of the cross when you hear a siren is as powerful of a prayer you can give as kneeling down in church and chanting a prayer in front of the alter.  In the left pocket of my pants I carry a pocket cross that I can reach in and touch to calm me when life gets to be overwhelming.  Prayers can take place anytime, anywhere and in many forms.

Yes, it is that simple! But what is not so simple is the answer we anticipate when we pray. Probably the easiest why to explain how God must answer our prayers is this: If God answered everything we prayed for, we would all be rich, successful, and good looking. Right? Right. Praying is not for material requests. Praying is not for perfection. Praying is not for wealth, fame, or fortune. Praying is not asking for all to be OK in life. Praying is not for asking God to change the path He has us on.

My personal take on prayer is that we should pray for the strength to accept God's will.   To be strong in heart and mind to know that this too shall pass.  To be confident in our faith that He knows what He is doing.  That He would not put us through anything in our lives on earth that we cannot survive.  God's will.

PROVERBS 3:5 

  Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.

JEREMIAH 29:11 

 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, 

 thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 

Earlier tonight I chatted with one of my Iowa friends regarding God's will.  She was telling me that she is struggling with the sickness of her mother and it is hard to see her in so much pain and so down on life due to that pain.  She didn't know what else she could pray for because she feels like God is not hearing her call for help in this road block in her and her mothers life.  I know that struggle, and I know that feeling that God is not hearing what you are asking for.  I assured her that God knows what the needs of her family are at this time and that fear of asking for the wrong things in prayer should not hinder her from praying for what she feels are her spiritual needs.  I reminded her that God answers as he sees fit, not what we are asking for.  

I hope I helped her when I told her that if she is prayin gfor peace and comfort in her mothers life, she should not fear that God will take her in an effort to give her that peace and comfort.  If that is God's will, so be it, if it is not God's will, he will not grant that prayer request.  God's will is powerful and the more we fight that the less comfort we will find in our hearts.  

There is no right and wrong in what we pray for.  There are no walking on egg shell words that can be said in prayer to try to avoid God misunderstanding what we are praying for.  God's will.  If you fear praying for the wrong thing in a time of despair simply repeat the words" God's will, God's will"  over and over again.  God will hear you, and God will answer you.  All you have to do is keep an open mind, and open heart, and a strong faith and trust in what He delivers. 

No prayer goes unanswered, we just think it has because we have not gotten what we thought we wanted at the time we prayed.  Do not try to change the course of the path God has laid in front of you.  Do not feel he is not hearing your requests, but be opened minded to the fact that he knows what is best, and He only delivers the best.  Believe in Him  Trust in Him.  Faith, Hope, and Love begins and ends with God.

Timothy 2:1-4  

First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.

Amazing Grace 47: DEAR GRACIE IN THE HEAVENS ABOVE ...

Philippians 1:3

"I THANK MY GOD IN ALL MY REMEMBRANCE OF YOU"

Dear Little Gracie, my Angel in Heaven,

God's Grace continues to fill me with hope of everlasting life as my journey on earth continues even though yours has reached beyond a breath of life.  Last night my routine was broken when my internet server failed me in my attempts to blog.  I was in a very dark place and not very happy with the interruptions of my plans.  I laid in bed with a bit of anger flowing through my veins.  As I tried to clear my mind from everything that was negative in it at this time thoughts of our time together writing your story, my story, OUR story fell upon me.

I got out of bed, went to the journals we built upon together and hauled everything you and I shared back to my bed and spread them out to take a look at where I was in our paper journey together, mine from earth and yours from the heavens above.  As I sifted through the blogs and pictures and poems we wrote I could feel you with me, turning my mood around.  I smiled, I laughed, and I cried as I held close the memories we shared.  I picked up the little pink journal you wrote all our pinky promises in, listed in order as we made them, one pinky promise swear at a time.  I held that little pink journal tight to my heart, almost as if I could push it inside and get close to you and the moments we shared.

The tears that fell from my eyes closed so tight, trying to turn back time, were warm as they rolled down my cheeks.  As I wiped them from my face and felt the stubble of whiskers from my day I smiled as I thought about all the times you told me to shave.  You didn't ask, you bossed.  That was our way.  I released the tight grip I had on that pink journal as I pulled it away from my heart to open it up to read our promises to each other.  Opening it up to a random page I read "make sure you take care of my mommy and daddy and I will make sure I find your mommy and take care of her for you".  I remember the visit that promise was made and how we talked about how when your final breath was taken here, your next breath would be taken in heaven as you sat next to Joey who you told me over and over again was waiting for you to be your angel guide. 

Sifting through those pages of promises in your hand writing was as painful as it was rewarding.  The tears that fell as I read were little pings of pain falling out of my heart last night.  Promise after promise, as I read each word, brought back memories that were sad reminders of a little girl who filled my heart with more love then I could possibly give back to the little heart whose beats would soon fade as she was lifted up beyond earth, through space, landing in the home she would never have to abandon again.

My hands trembled as I sat down the pink promise journal and picked up the notebook we used when I asked you the questions I had for you and wrote the answers down you gave me.  "What scares you the most about knowing that you will one day be gone from earth?" was my question.  "I am not afraid to die Jett, I know God will let me live with him.  It does not scare me to die." I remember very clearly the talk we had after that question because it was the first time we talked about God.  I was in awe of the eight year old little girl sitting next to me answering that tough question with so much faith in life beyond the world.  As I read through that book and the answers you gave to the questions I would ask you I realized I was still in awe of the deep faith and love you had for God and his plan for you.  I remember thinking about how you told me you were not afraid to die, but I was certainly scared of you leaving.

I read on to a point where I asked you on one of our 'interview' visits, "if you could have one wish Gracie, what would you wish for?" Your answer was not what I expected it to be, but as I got to you know as we spent more time together it became understandable when you replied "that no one else ever has to die of cancer like I am going to".  Again, sadness filled up inside of me, pushing out warm tears that ran down my face as if it were just moments ago we said our final goodbye to each other here on earth.  As I pushed the tears of sadness away and the warm tears touched the palms of my hands I thought about how when I cried because of you the tears were warm, all others times I cry in sadness they are cold.  I smiled as the thought of your warmth within my heart, releasing tears warmed by your touch from so many clouds away.

I stopped in to check on your parents today on the way home from campus.  Pulling into that driveway and looking at the window straight ahead of me that I often saw you standing at peering out waiting for me to arrive for a visit seemed lonely.  Walking up the steps to the porch and standing at the door that had you standing on the other side smiling to me as you turned the lock, teasing me about how you were not allowed to let strangers in saddened my heart today.  Sitting in the room visiting with your parents brought back fond memories of how we used to sit and watch Footloose together, play barbies in, and continue to write your story together felt empty to me today.

When your parents and I went into the room you spent your last days in it did not feel the same liveliness in it as when we sat and sang songs or colored together.  Once I opened up that closet where you left all those great drawings and words it once again came to life.  I sat in that closet today enjoying all the life you left behind.  The rainbows, the drawings, the hand prints, the personal messages.  Every time I visit that shrine you made I see something else I never saw before.  Like today, when I saw that little lipstick kiss you put on my hand print that you outlined.  I never noticed before that you took a pink pencil and colored the outline of your little kiss that would leave a lasting impression on that piece of art. 

I miss you Gracie, every second of every day I miss you as much as I miss Joey and my Mom.  I find comfort in thoughts of you all together keeping the rest of us here moving along in life.  I love working on our story of your life and relishing in the moments you shared with me.  When I miss your smile I close my eyes and remember the grins.  When I miss your laugh I open my ears and hear your laugh in the laughter of others around me.  I miss everything about you that we shared in our breathes on earth.  I long for the day where we will lay together on a cloud and drift around shining down on the lives left below.

TURN TURN TURN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHvf20Y6eoM

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late

I love you Gracie, I miss you!