Teaching The Littles ... Lord, Keep Me Safe

God, your love is so precious!  You protect people as a bird protects its young under her wings.

- Psalm 36:7

It is so important for the littles of the world to know that they are loved. Not all littles get shown that they are loved even when they are, simply because some adults are so consumed with life outside the home they don't realize their behavior towards the world problems often takes away the love they have for their littles. Showing the innocent Littles love is very rewarding to my heart.  Teaching the Littles about how much God loves them and the things He does to show them that love is one of the most precious gifts I can give them, and give God.  In many ways the great imagination of a child makes it easy to explain how big God is in their tiny little worlds. It can also be challenging since they cannot physically see God.  One of the twins, Isabella, is afraid of anything that moves that is not human.  She is too young to realize that the feeling she has when a dog comes near her is fear.  She is too young right now to even realize who God is and how he protects her.  When she visits and runs into our neighbors (my brother Jordy's) dog Charlie she shakes from her fear of him.  I tried to tell her that God would never hurt her and He will protect her.  She now calls Charlie by the name of God.  "God", she says as she points to him.  It makes me laugh and I know in time she will "get" the whole lesson and perhaps outgrow her fear of animals.  The bright side is she has already included God in her vocabulary.

Lord, Keep Me Sate

The world feels big, and I feel small.

Still, God, You listen when I call.

My soft words whisper in Your ears,

And then You come to ease my fears.

You calm me when I feel afraid,

And help me to be very brave.

You stay beside me day and night,

And always keep me in Your sight.

Thank You, God! Your love, I know,

Protects me everywhere I go.

This is the prayer I actually use to help control my anxiety about life.  I close my eyes and darken my world and whisper this prayer to God.  I might have to repeat it two or three times to comfort myself and calm my fears but it eventually helps me relax and put my trust and my faith in God.

The important lesson about this prayer, for the littles of the world and us adults as well, is having the faith and strength to share our fears with God and allow him to comfort us with his Grace.  Placing our troubles in God's hand comforts us and shows us that he truly is always right beside us, as long as we allow him to walk with us.  He is everywhere you need Him to be, always.  He is everywhere you are, even when we fail to realize He is with us.  If you do not have faith that He will protect you, you are not letting Him in.  Letting Him in your heart and opening your mind to His promise of peace, happiness and love is what will calm your fears and lay your trouble to rest.  Letting the littles of the world witness your head bowed in prayer and your arms raised to the heavens thanking God for being with you will remind the littles as they grow older that they have a friend in Jesus and that God will keep them out of harms way when they make the right choices in life.

LUKE 18 : 9-14

Sunday's Gospel from the Book of Luke has always been one of my favorite lessons taught through the church.   I was first introduced to this passage when I was fifteen and attending classes when I wanted to be baptized and accept God into my life.  The lesson was simple:  Be humble in your walk of life, accept responsibility for your short comings, and be as forgiving to others as GOD has been to you.  We are all challenged in our everyday walk of life in the area of forgiveness and judgment, to ourselves as well as towards others.

Forgiveness has always been more challenging to me than judgment.  It is not so much the forgiveness of others as it is forgiving myself.  I have never considered myself to be perfect in any way and quite honestly perfection is not something I strive to be.  I often get accused of never being satisfied with anything that I do accomplish and while I will admit those accusing me of that are correct, it is not because I am striving for perfection, it is because I am afraid of letting others down.  So when I feel I have not done my best, or could have done better, it is because I want to do better for others.  I want to be a better writer and perhaps make more of an impact on the lives of my readers.  I understand that as human beings, in today's world, we all struggle with basically the same issues.  I have trouble forgiving myself for the times I feel I have not been a more positive influence on the lives of others around me.

No one wants to be judged, not for who they are or what they do.  I do not have to try hard at all to avoid judging others and how they live their lives.  I believe my Bushnell Ave upbringing in Sioux City Iowa taught me that lesson quick in life.  When I escaped the house I was mentally, physically and sexually abused in I found myself not so willing to judge the things I witnessed in life and the people that were in those circumstances.  Instead of judging the 'bum on the corner sleeping on the bench' I found him a place of shelter.  Instead of walking away from someone I witnessed being bullied I stepped up and called out those judging them with their bullying actions.  I am not calling myself out at being perfect by any means and I will always work on being a better Christian and a kinder individual.  I am merely expressing how simple it is to take a stand against those that judge.

Personally I feel those that stand in judgement of others do so to avoid judging themselves.  Admitting your own weaknesses is difficult and throwing judgement on others is an act of protecting ourselves from, well ourselves.  The more we tend to judge others the more secure we feel in accepting what we do not like about ourselves.  I think my friend Jewels said it best when she said "It is easy to point out the weaknesses in others as we hide the weaknesses in ourselves."  She told me that she thinks that some people try to make themselves look better by pointing out the faults of others.  I guess I agree with her outlook on the blame game and why people play it.  There is no good reason to stand in judgement of those around us, it is just a way of excusing our own faults.

LUKE  18:9-14

Jesus addressed this parable
to those who were convinced of their own righteousness
and despised everyone else.
"Two people went up to the temple area to pray;
one was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector.
The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself,
'O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity --
greedy, dishonest, adulterous -- or even like this tax collector.
I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.’
But the tax collector stood off at a distance
and would not even raise his eyes to heaven
but beat his breast and prayed,
'O God, be merciful to me a sinner.'
I tell you, the latter went home justified, not the former;
for whoever exalts himself will be humbled,
and the one who humbles himself will be exalted."

If you believe in God and the eternity he offers us when we experience our last breath of life on earth, you most certainly must believe that only HE stands in judgement of each of us.  It is not for us to judge how others live their lives.  When our judgement day arrives we alone will stand before God and be judged on the life we lived.  There will be no one standing next to us to compare ourselves too.  We will not be judged on how others live.  We cannot point fingers in blame, we cannot point out the weaknesses of others or the strengths of ourselves.  Entry into God's Kingdom and the speed at which we arrive there will be based on how we lived God's Word while we walked on earth.  

Mathew 7 :  "Judge not, that ye be not judged."

Romans 12:19 :  "Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord."

Do not judge the sins and shortcomings of others for you also have sinned and you also have shortcomings.  Worry about yourself and to your own self be true.  Father Tom once lectured on The Book of Matthew, telling us that a man who steals the newspaper thrown on his lawn in error is no less of a sinner then the man who steals his neighbor's wife's heart.  The sins appear different but both are wrong and both are of equal value in the eyes of God.

Do not seek revenge when you have been done wrong.  Do not waste your energy on 'getting even' for on judgement day God knows, and God has kept score.  Your energy is better spent working on a better you, fixing what you can, moving on from what you cannot fix.  You take care of yourself and let God take care of those around you.   Forgive those that have sinned against you and throw the need for justice out.  Put your troubles and worries in God's hands and let others deal with God and his plan for them on their own.  

 

 

Amazing Grace : The Bravest Little Girl ...

Gracie was the bravest little girl I knew, perhaps the bravest person I will ever meet in my journey on earth.  She was the strong one, always, when we would visit.  I spent many hours with her in the final months in her journey on earth and I can count on one hand how many times she cried because she was dying.  On the other hand I can count how many times she complained about receiving chemo and radiation due to her brain cancer and how it over took her tiny little body.  I'm not saying she never cried, but the tears that fell because she was leaving earth were few and far between.  She accepted her fate of such a short time on earth and believed with all her heart she was going to live with God.

Gracie knew more about heaven and what it held for her then anyone else I have ever talked to about heaven.  She talked about what it looked like, she talked about her journey between earth and heaven and the park she would get to live in until God was ready to meet her.  She held as much knowledge about God and his plan for her in her head than the love she held in her heart for Him..  She liked the idea of working for God in heaven and meeting his mommy and her son Jesus.  "It's going to be beautiful there Jett," she would tell me, "more beautiful than anything we see on earth."

When I first met Gracie she was very tough on me and it was intimidating to me until I realized how she was just trying to protect me from a friendship that in a matter of weeks would have to continue in our hearts.  "Do not treat me special because I have cancer."  Do not feel sorry for me because I am going to heaven.  Do not cry when I leave."   It was constant, those demands.  I could pinky promise her all day long on those demands but I would break the promise every day I left her as I cried on my ride home.  She would text me from her mom's cell phone about five minutes after I left.  Stop crying Jett I know you are.  She would be 100% absolutely right about that with each and every text she sent.

I pinky promised Gracie that after she left us on earth I would go to visit her final resting place on earth often.  "Keep the dust off of me please", she would say with a laugh.  It is one of the many pinky promises I have kept.  Yes, I keep the dust off of her, and yes I leave her gifts.  Anything pink from hair ribbons (because she assured me over and over again she will get her long pretty hair back in heaven) to barbie dolls in pink clothes.   I also leave post it notes, on pink paper of course, telling her things going on back here on earth.  VISITED YOUR MOMMY AND DADDY TODAY ; OLIVIA WORE YOUR KICKS TODAY ; ATE A CHERRY CREME DONUT TODAY.  Insane, I know, but it helps my heart.  I miss my buddy, my little angel on earth.

I also sit with her and talk about all the people I brought into her life, filling her in on what everyone is doing.  I like to imagine she is still sitting with me, making faces at me and telling me "you're silly, silly as your name is".  I can close my eyes and hear her giggle, see her bright smile, hear her heart beat - bursting with all the love she allowed to live in it.  Truly she is a child of God, from the moment she took her first breath, to the moment she took the final breath that carried her beyond a breath of life on earth.

Gracie was brave, strong, positive, and courageous, and when she was ready to die she was brave, strong, positive and courageous for the rest of us.  She dedicated her remaining weeks of life to make sure those left behind were going to be alright.  When Gracie told her parents she did not want any more treatments it let everyone involved in her treatment know that this tough little girl was ready to go.  I watched Gracie at the Cancer Center the last day she would ever step out of that building and go home and prepare herself for God and the life in heaven he was offering her.

I watched all those medical professionals as they tried to be tough for her.  I watched as they held back tears, as they said goodbye to her, as they quietly walked away.  I heard her tell each one of them to be positive for the rest of the kids, to be strong for them and  told them "do not cry when I leave today."  I tried to put myself in her parents shoes that day when they drove away from the only place that could prolong the life of the child they were losing, knowing it was near the end for them, this family of three.  The only day sadder to me than the day she stopped her treatments was the day I went to visit her at the hospital for the very last time. 

Gracie left this earth a better place.  She left this earth with more love then it had when she was alive.  She left a big mark for the short eight years she was with us.  She left so gracefully for an eight year old little girl that lived her life as if would never end.  She believed, she had hope, she had faith, she had love, she had God on her side.  The strength she showed up until the day she died was as contagious as the love she shared with all.

If you know someone who has dedicated their life to making a sick child's life better, please find a way to thank them for doing a job that takes someone with the strength of a dying child to do.  They also have to be brave and strong and positive and courageous.  The doctors, the nurses, the staff in our medical facilities, the volunteers, the parents, the siblings, the families and the friends that hang tough and believe, and hope, and pray for a cure.

Stay Strong
(follow this link and try not to shed a tear)

I love and miss you Gracie, with every beat of my heart.  

"Someday will never be soon enough"  :-)

~ Jett

 

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Teaching The Littles ... Thank You, God!

All things were made through Him. 

Nothing was made without him.

- John 1:2

One of the lessons I tried to instill in the Littles was to be thankful to everyone, for everything.  I took this just a step further by helping them to understand why they were thanking people.  It was easier then I thought it would be actually, and it was fun watching them think of why they were being thankful.  I remember when my mom was still alive, Grandma Shirley to Jimmy.  She was very helpful in teaching Jimmy prayers.  My mom made Jimmy and myself spaghetti and meatballs when he was just four years old.  After dinner was over and dishes were done we sat with my mom just to visit before I took Jimmy home to his mom.  Jimmy had to always sit on the arm of the living room chair my mom was sitting in.  "Grandma Shirley?" , he said.  "Yes Jimmy?, she responded.  "Thank you for making that delicious supper for me, it was my favorite." he replied.  My mom asked Jimmy what he was thankful for about that meal.  "I am thankful that you spent your time to make me food and feed me.  I am thankful for the people who grew those noodles and meatballs so you could make them for me.  I am thankful for that cow that he gave you milk for me to drink.  But mostly Grandma Shirley, I am thankful that we got to spend time together with each other.  That would be good even without the food."

Thank You, God!

Busy bees and butterflies,

Flowers, trees, and stars,

Rainbows, clouds, and wiggly worms.

Fireflies in jars.

God, You made so many things,

For my two eyes to see.

Thank You, God for making them,

For everyone and me!

As we get older and we become more thankful for the things God has provided to us, we sometime forget that God gives us all we need to walk our journey on earth.  There are times when we wonder how we will make it to the next day, the next hour, the next minute, in our lives when our days are dim.  We ask God "why me?"  We try to figure out what we did wrong to end up in the situations that we are in.  Then we have days as bright as the sun and we are pleased with how well we are doing and we sometime forgot it was by God's design that our day went well.  We don't always thank Him for those sunny days as quickly as we blame him for the dark and dreary ones.  

It is important to help our littles in the world understand that sometimes things are not going to always be that great.  That we will struggle in life and we will need to find our way back on the straight and narrow road we should be on where life is grand and all is well.  The best way to teach our littles this lesson is to practice it ourselves.  Each day is a gift from God and each day we should thank Him for the opportunity to make the right choices.  Thanking God openly for everything he has given us, including the littles of the world, will show those littles that everything in life is a gift given to us by God.  Accepting those gifts and thanking Him for them is a never ending show of appreciate and builds our faith for a future that will bring us many disappointments, only to find more satisfying gifts further down the road.

It is that simple.  Without the rain there would be no rainbows of beauty, but without the sun we would never find the beauty of the rainbows.  Accept what is put in front of you and be thankful for where it leads you.

Teaching the Littles ... The Morning Prayer

Lord, teach me your ways.  Guide me to do what is right. 

 - Psalm 27:11

The littles in my life, Jimmy (7), Olivia (3), Channing (2 1/2), Abigale and Isabella (1 1/2) and Jaci (1), are my nieces and nephews, some of them blood, some of them misfits, but I love them all as if they were my own littles. Their parents were not raised devote Christians, meaning they were not practicing in the religions they were born into. Mikey and Kathy and Brooke were baptized but had never attended church services on a regular basis. Mikey was baptized and attended church every Sunday while his parents were alive but once they passed he stopped going to church. Jordy (my blood brother), like myself was not baptized or even introduced to religious beliefs of any sorts.

I myself was not attached to any religion until I was the age of fourteen. I somehow convinced my brother he and I should be baptized, resolved of original sin, the whole nine yards of accepting God into our lives. I committed myself to God the day I received the Sacrament of Baptism. I was fourteen when I accepted Him into my life, I accepted the Grace he instilled in me, and I have been faithful in following His Word and maturing into the Christian I feel He wants me to be. Even though the adult Misfits in my life do not attend Mass on a regular basis, they allow me to touch the littles life with God's promise of love.

I have been a part of every one of the Littles baptism ceremony and each time I witnessed this leap of faith I made a promise to God and to the Littles that I would make sure they have the opportunity to get to know God and who He is in their lives on earth. My gift to each Little as they were baptized was their first Precious Moments Bible. It contains prayers and bible passages that I use to teach them the good of God and the goodness he wants us all to show. While the prayers are not my own words, I read them to the Littles until they memorize the prayer and can 'read' it to me. Between the time I introduce the prayer to them and they can recite it back to me I use their journey in life to teach them what the passage and prayer means. The littles in the world will naturally make many mistakes along the way until the adults in their lives teach them the right ways. My hope is that as they get older and life presents them with new challenges they will remember the simple prayers they have learned from the beginning.

My Morning Prayer

 Dear Father, hear me when I pray.

Guide my steps throughout this day.

Help me to be kind and true, 

in everything I say and do.

Help me with my words today;

Keep them gentle while I play.

Help me to know right from wrong.

Guide and bless me all day long. 

The Morning Prayer not only fits into the Littles world, it is just as telling to adults about simply being nice to others. Choose your words wisely, think before you speak, be kind in your words and truthful in your heart. You do not have to be a Christian to understand right from wrong, you just have to be a compassionate human being. What you do have to have is others in your life that will keep you motivated to want to be the best you can be, no matter who is watching you. The Littles completely believe, as I do, that God is always with you and that alone will keep His guidance of your goodness on your mind, as a reminder that when you are kind to others, God is happy and pleased with you.

Treat others as you would want them to treat you is a saying I have heard since I can remember. It is that simple: be nice, be kind, and be truthful in your journey and others will treat you the same. Anything less than your best will result in a struggle inside yourself that you surely will not win. Life is difficult enough, why make it any harder by being untrue to yourself, to God, and to your fellow man.

Until It Hits Home

DEDICATED TO MY WESTERN IOWA FRIENDS WHO WERE HIT WITH DEVASTATING WEATHER THAT LEFT PATHS OF DESTRUCTION IN THEIR LIVES. 
Prayers and Peace - Jett
 
When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways-- either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.

We travel through our lives bumping into constant reminders that we are only as safe as the world allows us to be.  We read about the tragedy of terrorism that demolished the Twin Towers in a planned attack on our country by hatred for Americans.  We read about the violence in our cities that have multiplied between gang members that are killing hundreds of innocent people caught in the line of fire between two rival gangs and their hatred for each other.  The unwarranted beating of an American War Veteran with no purpose or motive that took his life on American soil after surviving two wars on foreign ground.  The killing of a college student in Kansas while he was running to maintain his athletic frame merely because three teenage kids wanted to know how it felt to shoot someone.  Many tragic lives are lost daily, for no better explanation other than the  hatred that lives inside our souls.

We read about robbery's by gun point at banks, shopping malls, corner stores and  gas stations because someone is desperate for money, food, drugs.  We read about home invasions and the theft of someones property, personal possessions they  have worked hard for, simply because a criminal feels entitled to whatever they want.  We read about car jackings and muggings and pick pockets and all sorts of violence that have altered the lives of so many.

We count our blessing that it wasn't ourselves that have been the victim of senseless, countless, often random acts of violence or assaults against our person or the possession we have in life.  We also count our blessings when tragedy misses us.  When someone else falls ill, when someone else loses a loved one, when someone else was robbed or beaten.

We count our blessings .. until it hits home.  It is then that we lose sight of the blessings in our lives and are overwhelmed with feelings of loss.  We look at everything that has been taken away from us, our home, our pets, our land, our livelihood.  We feel beaten by life, we think about all we have given and all that has been taken away.  We feel alone and we feel empty.  We feel singled out in life as a victim of the unknown where there are no answers.  No reasons.  Only questions.  Why? What did I do?  Where do I go from here? How do I move on?

While it may seem odd to hear someone tell you to keep counting your blessings and focus on your faith, that would be my advice to you today.  When everything has been taken away from you, you still have yourself, you still have your family, you still have your friends, and you still have God.  Now is not the time to lose faith in the life you live or the God that gave it to you.  This hardship and tragedy was not a test by God of your faith in Him, but a call from Satan so you question God's love for you. 

Now is the perfect time in life to count your blessings, look into your past and remember all the times you felt defeated and all the times you defeated that feeling coming out a winner.  How you came out stronger each time and moved forward with the same blessings you have today.  While it has to be devastating to lose your personal possessions and even the lives of your family pets, your home, your livelihood and your dreams, you are still surrounded by those that love you, those that need your love, and the love of God.

"For the road you travel on and all its detours, is the road you chose to be on.  All roads eventually have roadblocks and all roads eventually need repairs, but all roads lead to a better world where one day everything you have lost in your heart along the way will one day be yours again." - JMP

Please know you are in my heart and in my prayers in your time of need.  As devastating as mother nature has been to you in this recent storm tragedy the blessing that remains is the love of family, friends, and strangers have for you in this trying time of your life.  You are not a victim, you are a survivor and like the storm that took away the life you built in years gone by, this too shall past.  And when you start counting your blessings in life again, you will realize how blessed you are.  You will see that survivors are not victims because they see the diamond in every piece of coal they are handed.

Facing Fear

There is some point in all our lives that we will the face fear that resides in our hearts.  It's not a phobia like fearing snakes, or the fear of thunderstorms.  It's not the fear of failing an exam or the fear of flying.  It's not the fear of violence or the fear of ghosts.  It is not even the fear of death. No, those fears do not live in our hearts, those fears live in our minds. 

The fear that lives in our hearts most often have to do with our loved ones.   The fear of never seeing them again.  The fear of their health and welfare.  The fear of their pursuit of happiness and how they will achieve it.  The fear of the path they may stray on and the struggle to get themselves back on the right path.  The fear of cancer or other illnesses that tug at our hearts and sends us into overdrive on praying for God to help them through their most difficult time. 

Jake is my dad and while he is not my natural or biological father, he is the man in my life that has chosen to raise me and love me when my birth dad could not, or would not.  Jake is a self confirmed bachelor for life.  In his words its because there are too many women out there to choose from and until he meets them all he would never feel he found the right soul mate.  The words of us Misfits is it is because no one woman would be able to tolerate his house rules.  If God were choosing the words it would be because  He planted the seed of Jason Jacob Felix so that one day the right misfit humans in life would find Jake and the Misfit family would be formed.  I personally not only believe that was God's plan for Jake, I am pleased God included me in that plan when he planted the seed of Jake.

My dad recently had a mass removed from his lungs that was cancerous but they did a clean sweep when they went in to remove it and the outcome was about as good as it could be.  However, he is receiving thirty chemo treatments, one every other day for two months.  It is precautionary and should leave him in remission for years to come.  The whole health ordeal is the perfect storm for someone of Jake's age, and physical condition, could hope for if indeed, cancer were to attach itself to their life.  Myself and my Misfit family had braced ourselves for the worse possible news so when we were told that his was the best possible diagnosis we were relieved and thankful for the great news.

I watched my brother Joey fight his lung cancer for several months.  The last month of his life I knew I was watching him die a little bit more as each day passed by.  The hope I had of his recovery was diminishing right along with his breath of life.  I could see it in his physical being, I could see it on the faces of the medial staff taking care of him.  I could see it in Joey's eyes when we visited.  I knew what I was seeing in his eyes was fear.  Fear of the unknown.  Frankly he could probably see the same thing in my eyes each time we made direct eye contact.  Nothing was ever mentioned between us about it, but we knew.  It was our silent fear and we faced it together, from heart to heart.  The fear in my heart knowing I was losing my older brother, him twenty-four and myself fourteen.  Joey was not just a brother to me, he was a fill-in father when our birth dad could not be.  He was my best friend, the one who got me out of the house during the day because it was a prison at night when our birth dad got home from work.  Joey was not just a brother, not just a friend, not just a fill-in dad ... he was my EVERYTHING.  Watching him being taken away from me put a fear in my heart that has to this day not ever gone away.

That fear resurfaced ten-fold when Jake was diagnosed with lung cancer, the very thing that took Joey from my physical world.  Would God also take Jake away from me?  So many of my friends and family have left their journey on earth and are gone from my life. Since I was fourteen that death has become more like a hobby for me then an end to the lives of those I love.  I have found many outlets in grieving for those that have moved on to an eternal life with God in the heavens above.  It is painful to lose loved ones but I have accepted that this is indeed the Circle of Life and there is nothing I can do to stop God and his plan for each and everyone of us.  I not only find ways to deal with the pain, I also have been able to help others with their loses and their grief.  My closest friends tell me that this is what God's plan for me is in my journey on earth.  It is a gift, they tell me, that I can express my pain in a manner that others can relate to when they cannot process how they feel and find some comfort..

When this fear once again entered my heart as Jake goes through his chemo process I told myself that God is forcing me to once again face this fear.  Facing my fears of loved ones gone has always allowed me to build upon my faith.  To trust God and all he has given me.  To believe that the paths we are on with God are by his design.  That 'it is what it is' and there is nothing I can do to change God's plan for me, or for anyone else.  I often tell my friend Kim that pain is weakness leaving the body.  Kim pushes herself to exercise and take care of her physical welfare but it does not come without pain.  When she expresses to me how much it hurts with each new exercise she disciplines herself in I always tell her two things "pain is weakness leaving the body" and "no one has ever drown in sweat". 

This morning as my dad packed his day bag to go to his treatment the fear of losing him entered my heart.  He has not even received six of his thirty treatments but I can see the toll it is taking on his body.  He looks tired and pale and a couple years older then he did just a week ago.  On the even numbered days of the month when he does not receive treatment he is bored and troubled by not being able to keep up like he did before they removed the mass from his lungs.  He cannot go more then a couple hours without needing to stop and rest.  Before this setback he was the one that you could not get to sit down, he is always on the move.  If he was not doing something for himself he was at one of the other Misfits house taking care of something for someone else. 

I think of Joey and how I watched his life slip way from him day by day.  I think about the day he died and each one of us said our goodbye to the brother, the son, the friend, who could not tell us goodbye because he was already gone.  I think about that day Joey took his last breath of life on earth and one by one my family walked out of that room until only Mikey and I were left standing there.  I think about how I listened to Mikey yell at Joeys corpse, angry he left him.  They were best friends in life and thinking back to that day, it is the day I was first introduced to the fear that comes straight from the heart.  It was not the fear of death I was witnessing, it was the fear of life without a loved one.  I accept the Circle of Life and I realize we are born to die.  It is the walk of life without those we love that puts that fear in my heart. 

It is the fear of carrying on, moving forward, hoping you are doing the right things. It is not the fear of losing a loved one to the promise of God's eternal life, it is the fear of being left behind on my journey and will I be able to survive until the end of my Circle of Life arrives.  I know I will see them all again when that day comes, but for now I am left with facing the fear of walking my journey alone.  Facing that fear will build my character, make me a better Christian, bring me closer to God's plan for me.  It will strengthen my faith and trust in God.  It will force me to find more people in my life to walk with in my journey. 

Even knowing Jake will be OK and if he is not there is little I can do to change the course he is on,  I have fear in my heart that I will be left to face my fear of being left alone, stranded, in a world too big for me to spin on my own.  I will be OK.  We will all be OK.  We need to face the fear in our hearts and remember God never leaves us.  We always have a friend walking beside us to guide us to righteousness.  A small part of faith is believing in the unknown.  That is exactly where fear come from inside of us, not knowing what is ahead of us.  Facing those fears is what helps us through those times.  Faith is trust, trust in God that he is with us always and even though we have to leave each other here on earth, we are not left alone, as long as we invite God to journey with us.

Jake will be OK.  I will be OK.  All the other Misfits will be OK. However, it will not come without the pain we feel in our hearts or the fear we let in.  Face your fears, head on.  Do not try to bury them deeper or hide from them all together. 

Gen 26:24 NKJV 

And the LORD appeared to him the same night and said, “I am the God of your father Abraham; do not fear, for I am with you. I will bless you and multiply your descendants for My servant Abraham’s sake.”