My brother Jordy and I both have the gift and talent of being able to play several instruments with no formal training. It is a hobby for both of us and we both use it more as a stress release than anything else. We are by no means artists in the musical field and neither one of us would ever hammer out a living by playing or singing, even if we had the desire to do so. Playing our guitars out on either my deck or his is how we bond. We are as different as night and day but our musical side helps us bond as brothers and as friends. Jordy and his wife Brooke and their little girls Olivia and Jaci live next door to the Misfit house. The only disadvantage to this set-up is we are a houseful of guys and him living with three divas often forces him to flee them and come over to our safe haven. That is not the disadvantage, that comes when the little divas are upset with daddy and come running over to tell Papa their daddy is being a diva.
The biggest advantage for me to having my brother live next door is the bonding that takes place without us even realizing that is what is happening. Almost every night that is void of rain we sit together and strum our guitars and sing. Some nights there is very little talking and others we sit back in the lounge chairs and just talk about our lives. How far we both have come since we left the Bushnell house in Sioux City that raised both of us until the age of fourteen.
As different as Jordy and I are there are a lot of things about us that are similar. For instance, neither one of us requires much sleep at all, which allows us to spend time together at night, our on the deck, strumming our guitars. While I have become literally an open book about my past and the physical, mental, and sexual abuse inflicted upon me by our 'dad', Jordy has been tight lipped about that very same past he endured. We both experienced the same abuse in that house, we just choose different avenues to deal with it. We are both driven by our past to be the best we can be at everything we do. No subpar effort on either of our parts. It's never good enough, which drives us to be more successful in the things we choose to do in life. We both love big, me wearing my heart on my sleeve and Jordy keeping his buried deep in his heart. Avoiding life is not an option and living it to our fullest potential is the only option.
We have fun sitting out on the decks and playing music. One of us always has something new we heard we want to play. He finds something, he plays it, I pick it up by ear and we work on harmonizing the song together. Outside of the deck Jordy doesn't really 'jam' with anyone else or on his own. He spends time teaching Olivia, his three year old, the piano. I have no problem jamming on the deck by myself or playing for the Misfits who get creative with the lyrics to popular songs. I often take my guitar with me when I visit Gracie, Connor, Ce'dric and Alana, to play Christian music and find peace in my heart for the souls that left my life. I also sing in dive bars who let me sing for free, karaoke when out with friends, and yes, I sing in the shower.
Last night I sat on the deck after my hockey game to jam a bit and relax. I wasn't out there for more then ten minutes when my brother came over with his guitar. "I have a song I like the lyrics to bro, listen to the words", he said as he began to play. It was an old song and I'd heard it many time before. A couple nights ago when Jordy and I were on his deck laying back in the lounge chairs talking he brought up the struggle we had growing up. We talked about the current struggles we face in our lives. We both wondered if those will ever go away. Not the new struggles that we all face in our journeys, but the dark pasts that live deep inside of us. We both find that we are fortunate in our lives even when we feel things lagging a bit. We always pick ourselves up and carry on. We always find a way over, under, through or around what stands in our way. We are driven to succeed and not leave any life behind us once our last breath beyond a breath of life is taken. We both agree, it is the one gift our 'dad' gave us in our lives. Through all the abuse, all the pain, all the tears, we are fighters because of him. We will not let his words bring us down, his actions halt our growth. We will live life as it is intended to be lived, no regrets.
This is the one and only time I will ask you, my readers, to listen to a Miley Cyrus song. This is the song my brother wanted so desperately to 'teach' me. This song touches Jordy's heart in big ways, so big he wanted to share it with me. It was the first time since I was fourteen, over seven years later, that I have had my brother open up to me about our past, about our future, about our CLIMB. We shared tears last night, not over what each of us has been through, but about the climb we have taken to get to where we are. For the first time ever my brother told me he was sorry. Sorry he left me behind in the Bushnell house just so he could escape the same abuse he knew I was getting. Sorry he wasn't the brother to me he should have been. Sorry for deserting me and mom.
I was able to tell Jordy, for the first time, that I didn't blame him. It was not him who tried to mentally destroy my spirit. It was not him who beat me with the promise he would kill me. It was not him who sexually abused me. I also got to thank him for all I have that is good in life. It was him who saved me from death. It was him who altered his life to raise his little brother. It was him who gave me back the brother I felt I never knew.
Jordy said it best when he said "This song is the life you and I live on a path in our journey's that will have us walking side by side, pushing every mountain and climbing to the top of the next one. And when we get to the top of that mountain we will be with our family again, and this time, I will never leave you behind."
The biggest advantage for me to having my brother live next door is the bonding that takes place without us even realizing that is what is happening. Almost every night that is void of rain we sit together and strum our guitars and sing. Some nights there is very little talking and others we sit back in the lounge chairs and just talk about our lives. How far we both have come since we left the Bushnell house in Sioux City that raised both of us until the age of fourteen.
As different as Jordy and I are there are a lot of things about us that are similar. For instance, neither one of us requires much sleep at all, which allows us to spend time together at night, our on the deck, strumming our guitars. While I have become literally an open book about my past and the physical, mental, and sexual abuse inflicted upon me by our 'dad', Jordy has been tight lipped about that very same past he endured. We both experienced the same abuse in that house, we just choose different avenues to deal with it. We are both driven by our past to be the best we can be at everything we do. No subpar effort on either of our parts. It's never good enough, which drives us to be more successful in the things we choose to do in life. We both love big, me wearing my heart on my sleeve and Jordy keeping his buried deep in his heart. Avoiding life is not an option and living it to our fullest potential is the only option.
We have fun sitting out on the decks and playing music. One of us always has something new we heard we want to play. He finds something, he plays it, I pick it up by ear and we work on harmonizing the song together. Outside of the deck Jordy doesn't really 'jam' with anyone else or on his own. He spends time teaching Olivia, his three year old, the piano. I have no problem jamming on the deck by myself or playing for the Misfits who get creative with the lyrics to popular songs. I often take my guitar with me when I visit Gracie, Connor, Ce'dric and Alana, to play Christian music and find peace in my heart for the souls that left my life. I also sing in dive bars who let me sing for free, karaoke when out with friends, and yes, I sing in the shower.
Last night I sat on the deck after my hockey game to jam a bit and relax. I wasn't out there for more then ten minutes when my brother came over with his guitar. "I have a song I like the lyrics to bro, listen to the words", he said as he began to play. It was an old song and I'd heard it many time before. A couple nights ago when Jordy and I were on his deck laying back in the lounge chairs talking he brought up the struggle we had growing up. We talked about the current struggles we face in our lives. We both wondered if those will ever go away. Not the new struggles that we all face in our journeys, but the dark pasts that live deep inside of us. We both find that we are fortunate in our lives even when we feel things lagging a bit. We always pick ourselves up and carry on. We always find a way over, under, through or around what stands in our way. We are driven to succeed and not leave any life behind us once our last breath beyond a breath of life is taken. We both agree, it is the one gift our 'dad' gave us in our lives. Through all the abuse, all the pain, all the tears, we are fighters because of him. We will not let his words bring us down, his actions halt our growth. We will live life as it is intended to be lived, no regrets.
This is the one and only time I will ask you, my readers, to listen to a Miley Cyrus song. This is the song my brother wanted so desperately to 'teach' me. This song touches Jordy's heart in big ways, so big he wanted to share it with me. It was the first time since I was fourteen, over seven years later, that I have had my brother open up to me about our past, about our future, about our CLIMB. We shared tears last night, not over what each of us has been through, but about the climb we have taken to get to where we are. For the first time ever my brother told me he was sorry. Sorry he left me behind in the Bushnell house just so he could escape the same abuse he knew I was getting. Sorry he wasn't the brother to me he should have been. Sorry for deserting me and mom.
I was able to tell Jordy, for the first time, that I didn't blame him. It was not him who tried to mentally destroy my spirit. It was not him who beat me with the promise he would kill me. It was not him who sexually abused me. I also got to thank him for all I have that is good in life. It was him who saved me from death. It was him who altered his life to raise his little brother. It was him who gave me back the brother I felt I never knew.
Jordy said it best when he said "This song is the life you and I live on a path in our journey's that will have us walking side by side, pushing every mountain and climbing to the top of the next one. And when we get to the top of that mountain we will be with our family again, and this time, I will never leave you behind."
THE CLIMB
I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
Chorus:
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
Chorus:
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
Chorus:
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa
