with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
-Proverbs 3:5-6
While I have always loved my mom I have to say that I really never missed her until after she left this world and went to heaven, Beyond A Breath Of Life. I never imagined life without her until she was gone. I never really thought about it, maybe because I was only nineteen when she died. Not until the day my brother and I had to make the decision to take her off life support and find out whether she had any fight left in her or if she would choose to let go did I start thinking about never having her in my world again.
I thought about how she would never meet my wife when I married, my kids when I had them. She would never see me graduate from college or land the job that would make me a successful business man. No more birthday cakes from her, no more Christmas cards, no more smiles when I surprised her with a visit. It took my mom dying for me to think about what she meant to me in my life. It took my mom dying for me to think about what I would do if she was no longer in my life on a daily basis. It took my mom dying for me to realize that the memories I had with her when she died would stop there and never again would her and I share moments in life that would become memories for me to keep.
I have always, ALWAYS, been jealous on the inside of my friends who still have their mothers and the times they shared with me about how they went to lunch with their moms, went shopping with their mothers, spent the day with them just hanging out. I wanted that with my mom again and knowing that would never happen just hurt my heart over and over again each time I witnessed anyone, even strangers, who were out and about spending time with their mothers.
I have always lectured my friends who I felt were not treating their mothers right, or complained about how much their moms nagged at them just trying to make them better people. Even when I felt one of my friends mothers were not treating them very well I would tell them how you only have one mom and you should cherish the time you get with her. Appreciate all she has given you and done for you by stepping up and being that son or daughter that she wanted you to be. Respect what she has given you and done for you and learn from that by giving back to her.
Just in the past couple of months I have friends whose mom's are struggling with health issues. My friends in Sioux City IA, the Sturges's mom has been given a limited time, in fact, they are now in bonus time with their mom who was day to day just two weeks ago but now is week by week and any day could be the last day they have her on earth. There are seven children who are all in their 40's or older who wonder each day when will be the last day they will have their mom with them. They are incredible examples of appreciating everything their mom has done for them by staying by her side through these final days, knowing she will soon by the mom of memories to them.
There is my Kingsley IA sista, Alex, whose mom is battling brain cancer. Her mom is my bestest buddy in the world and has been with me through everything for the last eight years of my life, including losing my own mom. My little sista Alex is just nineteen and in her first year of college. I feel her pain and her fear about her mom's struggle and I know how hard it is to watch that process as it unfolds. The hope, the faith, the trust, the love and the prayers you say through-out the day, asking God to please let this struggle be put behind us so you have your mom for way longer then the nineteen years you already have had with her.
Mrs F,who is the mother of my ex-girlfriend, her brother who is a co-work of mine and her other brother how works with my dad is battling breast cancer. I am still friends with this family and they are all in their 20's and I see in their eyes the fear of losing her if she does not win this battle. I understand their fear as they watch her face all the medical appointments, all the surgeries, all the treatments, hoping that God also blesses them with a win against the cancer that has effected their lives.
Three families that I love with all my heart. Three families that no doubt in my mind are feeling how I felt that day I had to let my mother go. Three families that no doubt in my mind are now imagining living the rest of their lives with their mothers in heaven, out of their physical world. Three families that are now testing their faith, their strength in God's plan, putting their trust in God's plan, praying like they have never prayed before.
My heart aches for them in their times of struggles as much as it aches for how much I miss my mom every day. I hurt for their hearts because I know the loss of a loved one is something you truly only understand when you go through this. I ask God to please help them remain hopeful and faithful and trust him as they walk through these struggles with their mothers. That they walk with their mothers and remember what they mean to them. Enjoy the breakthrough moments of smiles and laughs and continue to make memories. Be there for your mom's like they have always been there for you. Let her know that no matter what tomorrow brings you appreciate being brought into this world an raised with all kinds of love that has helped mold you into who you are today.
