I was extremely happy to find my amazing Grace feeling stronger when I visited her this past Wednesday. I try to remind myself it’s temporary, her looking stronger than the last time I had visited with her. I try to remind myself to enjoy our visits without the fear of this being the last visit. It is hard though, the more I get to know Grace, the harder I pray every morning and every night, that today, is the day someone finds a cure that will save Grace and allow her to live a long, healthy life. I remember that same prayer routine when I watched my brother go through his treatments, only to lose his fight in the end, to a disease that takes the lives on average of 1500 USA citizens per day, with another 3400 USA citizens being diagnosed with cancer.
I really never know what I will get out my visit to Grace. I always hope to find her upbeat, healthy, and winning the battles she encounters each day. I just never know what will be waiting for me from the little girl who is spunky and full of mischief. The last time I visited Grace when she was feeling well she had ended our time with a request that I teach her dance, so that she will be ready to dance with God when he calls her home. Grace has a way of ending our visit with that one statement that keeps me thinking of what question I will ask her on our next visit.
That is the rule, even though our friendship started with me conducting an interview with Grace about her fight with cancer, she limited our visits to two interview questions, one she would ask me, the other I would ask her. The rest of the visit is just a lot of fun. Like many friendships developing, it is exciting to get to know one another, through just talking away and realizing what you have in common that connects you to someone, is just as interesting as what you do not have in common that holds the friendship together.
Prior to my weekly visit to Grace as she received her treatment, I took my 5 year old nephew Jimz (Jimmy) and my 1 year old niece Ola (Olivia) to visit Grace. Our visit lasted about 20 minutes due to Grace feeling tired and weak, still trying to recover from a very rough week of headaches and tired and achy bones. Meeting my family is one of Grace’s bucket list items. Her reasoning is, she would like to meet the people she will be guiding from the clouds. Keeping them safe and on the right path. Jimz and Ola were two of the people I was counting on Grace guiding, and I wanted her to know what she was getting into with these two, because when they are together, they rule the world.
Jimz was very perceptive that something was wrong with Grace and did not hesitate to ask her all the questions he had for her. Grace, for being eight, answered his questions eloquently and fitting, for his small age. Ola’s vocabulary, not being much more than ‘cookie’ and ‘cheetos’, limited their conversation greatly. I think Grace liked that Ola would just sit next to her and be happy. They ‘talked’ about Ola’s hat and purse, with Grace complimenting her on her selection and Ola smiling, as if she understood she was being complimented.
Our limited time today did not give them much time to bond, but I feel Grace was happy to meet two of the many important people in my life. They all hugged and said goodbye. Jimz even went back to kiss Grace on the cheek and tell her everything will be alright, you will feel better soon. I thought to myself, does he feel something I cannot? Does he get this? Or is he wishing her well because he knows when he is sick, everything eventually does become alright?
Thoughts linger constantly in my mind, on the circle of life. A life is created, a life is taken away. An old man lives to be 100, a young girl will die before she turns nine. A sibling dies before they live. A baby is born to fill a void. Dying of natural causes sounds like a better alternative than fighting to live. A life cut short. A life too long. Who are we to say who stays and who goes? Who are we to question why they are here or why they are not? We don’t pick our date of death. We don’t have the luxury of deciding when we would like to arrive on earth, and when we would like to exit it. We don’t have a say in how our story and journey will end.
Or do we?
I really never know what I will get out my visit to Grace. I always hope to find her upbeat, healthy, and winning the battles she encounters each day. I just never know what will be waiting for me from the little girl who is spunky and full of mischief. The last time I visited Grace when she was feeling well she had ended our time with a request that I teach her dance, so that she will be ready to dance with God when he calls her home. Grace has a way of ending our visit with that one statement that keeps me thinking of what question I will ask her on our next visit.
That is the rule, even though our friendship started with me conducting an interview with Grace about her fight with cancer, she limited our visits to two interview questions, one she would ask me, the other I would ask her. The rest of the visit is just a lot of fun. Like many friendships developing, it is exciting to get to know one another, through just talking away and realizing what you have in common that connects you to someone, is just as interesting as what you do not have in common that holds the friendship together.
Prior to my weekly visit to Grace as she received her treatment, I took my 5 year old nephew Jimz (Jimmy) and my 1 year old niece Ola (Olivia) to visit Grace. Our visit lasted about 20 minutes due to Grace feeling tired and weak, still trying to recover from a very rough week of headaches and tired and achy bones. Meeting my family is one of Grace’s bucket list items. Her reasoning is, she would like to meet the people she will be guiding from the clouds. Keeping them safe and on the right path. Jimz and Ola were two of the people I was counting on Grace guiding, and I wanted her to know what she was getting into with these two, because when they are together, they rule the world.
Jimz was very perceptive that something was wrong with Grace and did not hesitate to ask her all the questions he had for her. Grace, for being eight, answered his questions eloquently and fitting, for his small age. Ola’s vocabulary, not being much more than ‘cookie’ and ‘cheetos’, limited their conversation greatly. I think Grace liked that Ola would just sit next to her and be happy. They ‘talked’ about Ola’s hat and purse, with Grace complimenting her on her selection and Ola smiling, as if she understood she was being complimented.
Our limited time today did not give them much time to bond, but I feel Grace was happy to meet two of the many important people in my life. They all hugged and said goodbye. Jimz even went back to kiss Grace on the cheek and tell her everything will be alright, you will feel better soon. I thought to myself, does he feel something I cannot? Does he get this? Or is he wishing her well because he knows when he is sick, everything eventually does become alright?
Thoughts linger constantly in my mind, on the circle of life. A life is created, a life is taken away. An old man lives to be 100, a young girl will die before she turns nine. A sibling dies before they live. A baby is born to fill a void. Dying of natural causes sounds like a better alternative than fighting to live. A life cut short. A life too long. Who are we to say who stays and who goes? Who are we to question why they are here or why they are not? We don’t pick our date of death. We don’t have the luxury of deciding when we would like to arrive on earth, and when we would like to exit it. We don’t have a say in how our story and journey will end.
Or do we?
