Family: Mattew 19:14 - Gracie's Daddy

It is a fifteen minute drive from Brookline to West Roxbury, destination St Joseph's Cemetery.  Beyond the wall that clearly marks this land as that of St Joseph Cemetery.  Along the road lined with big old trees that leads to thousands of headstones in this cemetery whose birth dates back to 1818.  To the left of the road that veers to the right beyond a freshly dug grave plot lies the marker of one of God's children called home before her life barely had begun.  This is the site of little Gracie's final resting place.  This is where her parents chose to rest her in peace.

It truly has to be every parents nightmare, to decide where to peacefully lay their child who was invited by God to his home before themselves.  Gracie's fate had long been decided and death was certain to reach her before she reached the age of nine.  Bill and Annie, Gracie's parents, were facing what would certainly be one of the toughest decisions of their lives.  Where would they bury their only child?  It is not a question most parents would ever have to ask themselves.  Bill and Annie were very young themselves and had no plan for their own deaths let alone one for their daughter.  While death is always certain, and very unpredictable, I don't think it is something anyone really plans for when they are in their twenty's.

Facing the demise of your young daughter has to be hard enough and then to have to decide where to lay her to rest and in what manner, would only add heartache to an already breaking heart.  I watched as Bill and Annie went through this difficult task.  Deciding to buy three plots, side by side by side, so that one day the markers would lay in a row, Bill to the right of Gracie and Annie to the left.  Their precious child would rest between them one day, when they themselves are called home to God.

Gracie's marker is in the shape of a heart which is truly reflective of who she was.  Her mission in her short life was to reach everyone's heart, to touch everyone's heart, to remind them you can never love enough to fill up the capacity of your entire heart.  An angel hangs over the top of the heart, to remind Bill and Annie of the angel who left them, but left her heart behind.  A beautiful marker tribute to their little girl gone from her earth's journey and now loving them from her journey beyond a breath of life. 

We invited Bill and Annie to spend Father's Day with us Misfits.  When the Misfits get together for a BBQ and touch football it's as if there has never been sadness in any of our lives.  The laughter and smiles are endless and the bonding just unfolds in a natural way.   I was extremely happy when Bill and Annie decided to join us.  My thoughts were simple, just because Gracie left earth did not mean Bill was no longer a father.  He is her daddy for life and that carries right into eternity.  Bill had every right to be honored on Father's Day, along with the rest of the fathers.  It goes without saying.  I felt that if I invited them over to Mikey's, along with all of us Misfits, he would be honored along with all the father's that day.

There were days when Gracie and I were together that we did nothing but sit in silence.  On some of those days Gracie worked on her portion of the story of her life.  In her little journal she titled "My Daddy" Gracie would write the most loving things to her daddy, as she did in the journal she titled "My Mommy" too.  One day when our book is published, you will see for yourself the love they held for each other.  Since the day Gracie left us to go be with God and all those that went before us I sit and read all the things Gracie wrote that one day she would like the world to know about the life of the little girl, before they read about the death that took her away.

On occasion I will take a post-it note (pink of course) that Gracie used to write a thought, or a note, that would be included in our book and give it to Bill or Annie.  Something to keep Gracie's smile in their heart, even if it made a tear drop from their eye, as it often does to me.  I felt Father's Day would be a great day to slip a note to Bill, a gift from his little princess who was now an angel of God.  I searched through several of her notes and the writings in her daddy journal.

I selected a one page 'open' letter from Gracie to her daddy. It was a thank you letter she wrote to him for the time she asked him for a daddy/daughter date.  I remember how excited Gracie was the day before their big date.  "I am going to wear my blue jeans with the sparkly pockets.  I am going to wear my new yellow shirt my Auntie Amy gave me.  I think I will wear my tan knit hat, I always like that one.  I hope I do not get to tired on my daddy date, I guess you should go now so I can get all my rest."  I was excited for the next time we would get together so she could tell me about her big date.  It was hard not to be excited for her, the way she carried on.

The note Gracie wrote and left for her daddy so that one day he would be reminded of the fun they had would bring tears to the eyes of even the most unsentimental person.  Words from the heart expressing to her daddy that were simple and brief yet so meaningful.  "The time we spent together on our special date seemed like it lasted a life time daddy, yet the minutes felt more like seconds to me.  It was the best time of my life!"  While that is just a portion of her thank you note, you get the picture of just what that time with her daddy meant to her.  What was fitting for this note to be handed to Bill on this Father's Day was the PS added to the already special message.

It brought tears to my eyes when I read the words written by such a sweet baby girl.  A little girl whose heart surely left this world so full of love for the short life she lived and the loved ones that surrounded her.  A little girl who knew she was leaving earth and joining 'God's team of angels' in the heavens above.  A little girl who P.S.'d her daddy to make sure he knew that even with her gone from his physical world, she thought he was the best dad ever.

When we passed the gifts we had for our 'dads' on this day we watched as they opened the work boots, the homemade cards, the ball caps, the polo shirts and the golf tees.  The big dad hugs and the big dad smiles on the day we honor them, acknowledging how much we need them in our lives.  With Bill and Annie sitting side by side, her hand on the center of his back, rubbing it with all the love she could give a childless father I hesitated handing him the little envelope with the big note in it left him months ago by the princess he lost to a world beyond a breath of life. 

I had to do this, for Gracie, she would want this for her daddy.  She would want him to have a reminder about the love for him she kept in her heart and for the love she left in his.  I passed the envelope to Bill as I watched him smile at all the father love being spread around the Misfit table.  I could see the sadness in his eyes, no doubt thinking about his little girl gone.  The longing for her little hugs, her big smile and her never ending giggles.  I watched as Bill opened the envelope and took out the little note with the neatly written letter to him along the lines on the paper.

Together they read the note in silence, with Annie's hand still placed on the center of Bill's back.  She was no longer rubbing his back as she was just moments ago but had stopped as if she was now feeling the beat of a very sad heart.  Tears filled their eyes as they continued to read.  A single tear rolled down the face of the daddy who was being honored by his child in heaven.  The silence that fell upon the Misfit Father's Day picnic was broken by our own little misfit princess Olivia, who looked up in the sky as she said "Gracie" as the big fluffy clouds rode by in a breeze above us.  Olivia clapped her hands together excitingly with the other misfit kids joining in.  It was as if Gracie needed her daddy to hear the applause of tiny little hands clapping together, celebrating his day.  It was typical Gracie, stopping by and making sure the hearts beating in that back yard were filling up with more love then we ever knew it could possibly hold.

Matthew 19:14 

But Jesus said, 

“Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for them to, such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”

Friends: God's Plan

How do you know there is a God?  A Heaven? An Eternity?  How do you know there is anything "beyond a breath of life?"

My girlfriend Kristy and I hung out at our friends house last night. Charles (Cheesy) and his wife Allie.  Both are 23 years in age, and both are mutes, Allie being a deaf mute.  Allie was born a deaf mute and has just lived her life as normal as you and I, void the sounds on earth.  Cheesy lost his voice to a car accident  a few years back when him,  myself and Brooke (my brothers wife) were on our way to eat.  Cheesy was in the front passenger side that took a direct hit by a pickup truck which was being driven by a drunk driver.  After all was said and done, his voice box was crushed and left him speechless. Always a survivor, he came back from that accident minus his voice.

It has been very challenging to learn this new form of communication but myself, our friends, and even my family members have worked on our ASL (American Sign Language) skills.  Right down to the little's in our lives, Olivia (2 1/2, Dude 6 1/2, and Bonkz (2).  There was nothing going to prevent our friendship with Cheesy and Allie from nurturing into the very best we could be.  

Last night was full of fun and games, we played cards, we played scrabble, we caught up with everything going on in our lives.  Cheesy and I told stories of the two high school years where we bonded our friendship.  We talked about the day we added Kristy into our mix of our high school gang.  She reminded us about how we used to bake weird things and bring them to the "girls" table to try to worm our way into their gaggle.  Just a great great night with three of the best friends a guy could ask for.  Using ASL I told them all how thankful I am to God that he placed me in the lives of the three of them.

I know that Cheesy struggles with heaven after earth.  I know he struggles with the belief that eternity is real and that we will all reunite one day when each and every last breath on earth is exhaled.  I know that he was this way before he lost his voice in the car accident and has yet to find it with in himself to open up his heart to God and the plans He has for each of us.  Even Allie will let Cheesy know that it was by God's design he sacrificed Cheesy's voice for her so that they would meet.  Cheesy is as accepting of me and my beliefs as I am his.  It's not something we talk about much really, not that we do not respect what each other has to say but we just have a million other things we talk about to build out friendship.

It was surprising to me last night when Cheesy just looked at me and asked me these questions.  How do you know there is a God?  A Heaven? An Eternity?  How do you know there is anything "beyond a breath of life?"  I just had no idea where this conversation was headed.  So in a nutshell, this is how I explained what my beliefs were.

How do you know there is a God?  Nothing to me in my life is certain except that if you are born you will also die.  However, my wishes to one day be with those already gone from my life gives me hope of eternal life where we will be reunited.

How do you know there is a Heaven?  I believe that as sure as earth is our living hell as we make it, there is a heaven where we will stroll through not only the natural beauty of God's creation but the beauty of the souls that left before us.

How do you know there is an eternity?  I believe that forever is always a moment away and that the eternal happiness God grants us is a life of peace where there is no worry of it ending like there is here on earth.  Here, we tend to think if something good has come our way something bad is sure to follow.  I believe Gods eternity is an end to worries and sorrow.

How do you know there is anything beyond a breath of life?   Because I believe in God, and I believe he provides us a safe place called heaven, and I believe he gives us eternity where we can enjoy who we are without the judgment of others, the crimes against us by others, I believe he provides us with unconditional love despite our sins and our fears and our sorrow.  I believe this all takes place beyond a breath of life, and that to know this, to experience this, you have to take your last breath on earth. 

It was not a heated argument at all, it was as if we were discussing the daily news, casual conversations taking place between two friends.  But I had to ask that one final question, perhaps because I wanted to hear what he had to say, perhaps because I wanted to disprove anything he might say in response.

How do you know there isn't a God, or Heaven, or Eternity?  I do not know if there is or is not a God.  I do not know if there is a heaven or an eternity.  I do not know if there is anything beyond a breath of life that helps us get to beyond our grave on earth.  This is what I do know.  In May Allie and I received news that makes me want to believe in all of that.  In February a little chunk of cheese will take his or her first breath of life and that my friend, makes we want to believe all you have taught me about Life. Beyond. A. Breath. Of. Life.

Congratulations Cheesy and Allie!  May the Grace of God fill you up with all the Faith, Hope, and Love you will ever need to accept his love and guide you through one of the greatest gifts he can provide you.  A new born child, due on Valentines Day 2014.  A true sign given by God that life indeed exists, BEYOND A BREATH OF LIFE.

Family: Just A Heartbeat Away

 "You know Jett, everyone you love and that loves you back

 is only ever just a heartbeat away from you."

"Even when the people you love are in heaven Gracie?"

"Well duh.  You get to take your heart with you when you go."

I have been missing the absence of Joey in my life since he took his last breath on earth, the breath beyond a breath of life, that landed his spirit and soul in the heavens above.  Today was one of those days I was just going to miss him the whole day long.  Every where I turned there was a reminder of Joey's time on earth. 

I woke up at 4am this morning from a dream I was having from back in the day.  I was dreaming of the time when Joey and I walked to our Aunt Shelia's house who lived on the same street as we did, Lemon Street.  Aunt Shelia lived exactly two blocks east of our house on Lemon Street.  Our cross street was Bushnell and her's was Seger.  Aunt Shelia is our Mom's sister and her husband is Bob.  Joey used to tell our Mom, "where going to visit Bob Seger".  Bob Seger was one of Joey's favorite artists, he and Mikey used to sit out back in the yard on Bushnell Ave, drink beer, and listen to and sing to Bob Seger tunes.  It used to make me laugh, of course lots of things Joey did used to make me laugh, he was a fun guy.  I always thought it was so cool that my Uncle Bob's house lined Seger street.  Simply for the fact that he was one of Joey's favorite singers.  Then again, I idolized my brother even more then he did the famous great singer, Bob Seger.

This particular day's stroll to Aunt Shelia's house has crossed my mind several times over the years.  I was ten and Joey was twenty.  The big brother letting the little brother hang with him.  He even specifically invited me to walk to Aunt Shelia's with him.  I didn't have to ask if I could tag along this time.  Joey hung down at Aunt Shelia's at least one day a week.  She ran a home daycare and he used to go help her do crafts with the little's.  Today I was going to help for the first time.

I cannot remember what day it was, what date it was, or even the month.  I remember it was warm and it was during the summer.  Aunt Shelia always had more kids to watch during the summer months.  I cannot remember what craft project we even helped with.  What I can remember is the smiles on the faces of the kids we helped that day.  It was the first time I would witness Joey working with kids so little and they loved him beyond words.  When I think of this day I remember how on that day I thought, wow, these kids feel happiness when Joey is around.  The same happiness I feel when Joey comes around the Bushnell house to spend time with me.

So this morning when I woke up after that dream of Joey in my life, being the great big brother he was to me, I decided to just go for a jog, in the mist of a rain.  IPOD loaded up and the first song that plays is THAT OLD TIME ROCK AND ROLL by none other then Bob Seger (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9O-11bwa-b0).  The song I used to hear Joey and Mikey sing and and dance to in the backyard at Bushnell Ave as I watched them from my bedroom window.  I have a few of Seger's songs loaded on my IPOD, mostly because they were Joey's favorites.  I smiled as I recalled my dream and how ironic it was that I was now listening to this song.

It would not end there, these sudden visual reminders of the days when Joey was still on God's earth with us.  One thing after another all day long.  The more I saw, the more I remembered, the more I missed him.  As I jogged around the corner of the high school I saw a tall curly haired kid jogging across in front of me.  Tall, like Joey. Curly hair, like Joey.  I smiled, again, thinking about him.  When I turned around to head back home I had to stand at the corner for a second, as a little black truck passed through the intersection.  A nicer looking little black truck then Joey's old beat up little black truck, but non the less, another reminder of the brother that now lives a heartbeat away at all times.

Moment after moment, time after time, these reminders were popping up around me.  It was not upsetting to me at all, in fact, it just made me smile more.  When I got home tonight I was thinking about Sunday, Father's Day, and if I was ready with everything I had planned for Jake, my dad.  I thought about Joey and how much of life on earth he was missing out on. The nieces and nephews he would never meet until their last breaths on earth were inhaled, and exhaled.  The kids that Joey would never have, making him a father.  I thought about those kids on Lemon and Seger back in Sioux City IA, how much love Joey had for them and they returned to him.  I know Joey would make one great father to many kids someday, had God not chosen him to bring home to him so soon.

Honestly, this day gave me new hope in that one day I will marry and have a family.  That I will be a great father to my children. Not because my birth dad was a great example of what a dad should be to his children.  But because Joey loved kids and I know he would not have made the same poor choices in life when it came to raising a family.  My brother Jordy is a great dad to Miss Olivia and Miss Jaci.  Mikey is a great dad to Miss Abbey and Miss Izzy, to Channing (Bonkz) and Jimmy (Dude).  I am surround by great fathers on earth, including Bill, who is Amazing Grace's father.  Even though she is in heaven now, he still adores her and misses her like any father would.  Uncle Bob is a great father to Kaylee and Kyle and loves them big.  Then there is Jake.

Jake.  My dad.  The man who never fathered a child, yet raised me for the last six years as if I were his own.  The man who never thought twice about sacrificing things in his life to make sure my needs were met.  The man who has me wanting for nothing and needing even less.  The man who promised Joey that he would take care of his little brother and never let either one of them down.  Jake, my dad, my hero, my mentor and my friend.

Wishing all father figures in the world a blessed day on Sunday.  Thank you for seeing beyond your wants and needs and making sure the sons and daughters in your world know they are loved.  Your selfless ways are surely duly noted at the pearly gates, where God will welcome you with open arms, for providing a guiding hand in the lives of His children on earth.  God Bless your hearts and souls, for because of you, His Kingdom will have no end. ~ Jett 

Fatih: The Truth Will Set You Free

JOHN 8:32

"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Yikes almighty!  Never before has a blog I've written and posted had so much feedback with-in twenty four hours of being publicly posted as "Let Go Of Who You Are Not".   The volume of replies, comments, and questions were so heavy that my Administrative Assistant (Ms. Lit) threw her hands up in the air, relieving herself of all responsibilities regarding this latest blog.  Her being my self proclaimed BISO boss (Because I Said So) I apologized.  That is I apologized for laughing when she called me, talking a mile a minute, about how I am taking up to much of her summer vacation time and summer has not even started.  We agreed I would do a follow up blog to see if this would relieve the pressure of the number of responses the first blog had induced.

First and foremost I would like to clear up a detail I probably should have not omitted from the previous blog.  I personally do not struggle with who I am, or who I have been.  My inner peace struggle is with who I fear becoming.  I fear that one day I will become the monster my birth dad proved to be until his final breath, beyond a breath life, was taken from him this past year.  Although there is very little I know about how my birth dad grew up, the struggles he faced as a child, I know all too well the struggles he put me though.  The mental abuse that led to the physical abuse that lead to the sexual abuse.

In so many ways I feel the need to thank my birth dad, because he truly played a huge part in who I am today.  In spite of the past he darkened in my soul forever, despite the future in what may or may not become of me, my present has been defined because of the survival of my childhood.  I also, in so many ways, feel that thanking him for any success in my life would lessen the praise I should give to my Misfit Family in helping to make me who I am today.

I challenged others to take time for themselves, getting to know who they are, in an effort to become who they would like to be.  That challenge involved sitting in front of a mirror and working on seeing not the outer shell of themselves, but looking deeper into the inside of themselves, searching for inner peace.  To answer one of the most asked questions involving yesterdays blog, the answer is yes, and no.

Yes, I have challenged myself many times to work with my reflection in the mirror to make sure what the world was seeing, is what I was offering.  I work constantly on my Christianity in an effort to live as God has written how he desires us to live.  It will be a lifelong challenge for me, one I take seriously and put a lot of time into.  I know I can always be a better me, and by doing so I feel it helps others be a better them.

No, I am not comfortable with the reflection that stares back at me when I challenge myself to look into the mirror and see what others see.  My biggest challenge is my biggest fear.  That one day I will become the man my birth dad had become.  I struggle when I look at who is looking back at me in that mirror.  I see him, I see the image of my birth dad. I see the likeness of him in me.  The wild crazy out of control hair, the crooked smile, the same shape of the face that was his, and the eyes that cause me to stare myself down as if I am looking into the eyes of him, trying to see deep inside the depths of his soul, trying to figure out why he was who he was.

Self evaluation is not an easy task to perform.  Chances are you are going to either under evaluate yourself, or over evaluate yourself.  This is why it is so important in your life to surround yourself with the right people.  To put your faith and trust in the right individuals who will not allow you to lie about who you are.  The friends that will bring out the best of you, and stay with you while you work on becoming the best you that you can be.  I cannot stress to you enough how important it is to surround yourself with the best set of friends you can find.  Avoid the friends that allow you to be less then who you are.  That's the easy road, take the high road, not always easy, but always truthful.

I never said it would be easy, I never said it would not cause pain.  Working on your inner peace is truly rewarding as you find a way to make it grow.  When you are satisfied with yourself, when you accept who the real you is, when you stop the lies that make you feel better, when you admit that you can be a better you than you are being, your inner peace will guide you along life.

The choice on who I was going to become has been mine all along.  I did not realize this until the day I arrived in Boston, MA from Sioux City, IA.  I was on my own, a fourteen year old kid who had know idea what he did to land in this situation.  Didn't matter after a few weeks if I did anything or not, this is where I was.  If I was going to make it, I needed to hookup with everyone I could that would be a positive influence on my life, inside and out.  The very first friend I made in Boston, MA was God himself.  I found a church,  I found a purpose.  I found a family that promised to never hurt me, to love me unconditionally, to allow me to work on myself and hang in there while I found out who I wanted to be.

I always ask my mom in prayers each night "Mom, are you proud of the man I am becoming?"  The next prayer goes to God "thank you for accepting me for who I am, and allowing me to better myself".  God and my Mom, the two figures in my life, living in the heaven above me, that matter the most to me.  Both gave me life, both love me unconditionally, and both guide me in my endeavor to live an honest, healthy, peaceful life.

What I see when I look in the mirror, beyond the reflection staring back at me, beyond the breath of life I live in, are the images of God and my Mom. It is not just what you see in yourself when stare into the depth of your own soul, it is who is there with you when you do so.  I believe with all my being that those that have passed before me still try to guide me in my journey on earth.  My Mom's favorite saying to all of us kids was "be the best that you can be, the person you want others to know and see".  Those words are etched in the part of my heart that longs for the hug of mother.  As sure as I can see my birth dad and the reflection as I look into the mirror, I can also see my Mom.  We were both victims at the hands of the same man, we were both survivors of a past that will never be forgotten, may never be forgiven, but has certainly landed us in the hand of God.

Look in that mirror, not for the flaws but for the beauty of what God has placed in your life.  Appreciate all you have.  Love unconditionally, live without fear, and laugh often.  And one day my friends, beyond a breath of life, you will be rewarded in a heavenly fashion and inner peace will be a given, when you stop in God's Park before you enter into his Kingdom, and reflect on how you did your best, to be the best you that you can be.

A very special message to one of my many blog followers, Oleg from Russia.  Thank you so much for your kind words.  Gracie would be so happy with your efforts to make a difference in the life of a child suffering the same illness as she had.  Prayers for you Oleg and your little friend Galina.  May your journey together fill both your hearts with more love then you ever thought possible!  Hugs my friend and thank you for your support in walking my journey with me through my blogs.  We shall someday meet, and the Glory of God will unite our friendship forever. ~ Jett

Friends: Let Go Of Who You Are Not

PROVERBS 14:30 

 A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bone.

Who are you?  Is this a question that will bring out the best in you ... or the worst?  Most of us struggle with not just who we are, but also with who we are not.  I would venture to say if you spend a great deal of your time apologizing to others because you have hurt their feelings, there's a pretty good chance you are unhappy with who you are, the you that you hide from others when you pretend to be someone you are not.

Those of us who are unhappy with our lives try to find ways to make ourselves feel better about it by pointing out the faults of others.  We also will use tactics that require us to disguise our demons by being one way in front of people, and another behind their backs.  We tend to judge others for who they are in an effort to hide from ourselves our own faults.  Not only does this behavior damage those we are judging, but it does even more damage to ourselves.

James 3:14

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 

Jealousy can quickly turn us into someone who begins to envy what others have that we ourselves do not.  I believe that jealousy is less about what possessions others have and more about what we our selves do not.  I also believe that someone who shows signs of bitterness and envy for others does so out of a protective measure for the emptiness they feel inside.  Ask yourself these questions :  Do you spend more money on yourself then you should?  Do you try to fill that empty feeling inside of you with  material possessions? Are your closets full of things you will eventually get rid of, tags still hanging on them?  Do you find yourself constantly seeking out that next purchase you can make?  Is it during times when you are struggling with who you are?  This is a measure of avoidance in our lives.  When we feel empty we seek out something fun and something good, which allows us to deny we are in need of self realization.


There are many self-help books and many forms of therapy that we can seek out to help us in our search for who we are, who we are not, and who we desire to be.  You can pour thousands of dollars into self esteem improving therapies that will help cure you of all the habits you have taken on in and effort to hid yourself from the demons living inside of you.  Even then you are putting your trust in the hands of others who will not be able to see how truthful, how honest, how deep, you are allowing yourself to go into solving the issue you face.  You can continue on as you have, lying to those around you, trying to fool those around you, and not being a decent human being to others during the times when you feel unhappy with who you have allowed yourself to become.  Or you can fix this.  You and only you can fix the damage you have done to others when jealousy and envy has invaded your way of life.

The fist step in fixing yourself is to be honest with yourself about who you are.  You need to stop trying to convince others you are better then you actually are.  You need to stop judging others for who they are simply because you do not like who you have become.  You need to be the friend to others that they are to you.  You need to face the cold hard truth that you are responsible for the things you say and do.  Only you can fix what you do not like about yourself, things that others probably do not like about you either.  It is never too late to work on being a better you.  It is never too late to let people know you have treated them bad and you are willing to fix your behavior and treat them like they deserve to be treated.  Void jealous behavior and judgmental ways.  The change begins with you, and forgiving yourself will be the biggest challenge your face.

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

~ Leo Buscaglia

Honesty and sincerity go a long way whether you are on the receiving end of acts of kindness or administering acts of kindness.  One thing is certain, everyone can tell if an act of kindness is given from a loving caring heart, or is delivered with an intent to get something in return.  If you would like being on the receiving end of acts of kindness you are going to have to be willing to do things for others as well.  If you want others to be honest and sincere with you, you need to be honest and sincere with them. 

I challenge you to spend 20 minutes today in silence, looking at yourself in a mirror.  Twenty minutes of doing nothing but using the reflection you see to reflect on your inner peace.  Lack of inner peace is what pushes us to judge others, lie to others, bully others, and seek out the weakness in those around us to mask the lack of inner peace with-in ourselves.  You may find it hard to look at your reflection, for mirrors do not lie.  Accept your appearance as a gift from God.  Free yourself of any flaws you may see in your outer appearance for it matters not what you look like on the outer shell that hides who you are on the inside.  Look into your eyes, beyond the color, past the physical being.  What do your eyes tell others about you?  What is it beyond the eyes that makes you who you are?  What things can you change with-in yourself that will strength your inner peace and free you from the demon that allows you to accept you for who you are and others for who they are.  Be true to yourself, shut down the lies you have been telling yourself and others.  Build upon the things you like about yourself and change those things you don't.  

True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils.  Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island.  To find ONE real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep them is a blessing. 

~ Baltasar Gracian

Are you slowly pushing away the people in your life that are true friends with your lies and behavior?  Are you pushing away the friends in your life that could possibly be your good fortune because you do not appreciate their honestly?  Are you burning the bridges of friendship that may be your blessings because you are unhappy with your inner peace?  Are you surrounding yourself with people who can help you build on your inner peace or do you surround yourself with people that buy into your lies about who you are?

Be the friend to others that you would like others to be to you.  Lessons learned should be lessons not repeated.  Find out who you are, learn to love the you God instilled in your, and accept that you will never be who you are not meant to be.  Inner peace is only achieved through honesty with ones self.  Set aside the excuses you use to justify the demons you refuse to release.  Let go of the lies that bind you so tightly they strangle the friendships you need to find yourself.  Set yourself free, and be who God would like you to be.

Not a day goes by that I do not stop and think about who I am and how I can improve the inner peace I build on daily.  Not a day goes by that I do not stop and think, "would my mother be proud of who I am today?"  Not a day goes by that I do not thank God for giving me HIS Grace to carry me in my journey so that someday when I am beyond a breath of life, I am standing in front of my mother who invites me with open arms, acknowledging that even though I am far from perfect, I've lived a life that made her proud.