I talk a lot about my misfit family. My definition of a misfit is someone who is not related to you by blood, marriage, or adoption but I consider my family. Jordy is my blood brother so his daughter Olivia is my natural niece. Mikey was my brother Joey's very best friend and when Joey died Mikey looked after me as if he were my brother, making him my misfit brother. Mikey adopted Jimmy when he married Jimmy's mom Cathy making Jimmy my misfit nephew. When Katie married me Olivia became her niece by marriage and Jimmy became her misfit nephew. Since Jordy and Mikey are not blood related, their kids are misfit cousins. See how that works?
The difference between a natural family member and a misfit family member is really very minor in my world. I love them all equally, but when you grew up apart from your natural family you form your own family of misfits. People that you invite into your life or people that invite you into theirs because you love them like you love your family. Misfits are the family members you would choose if you got to make that choice. They are more then friends to you in your life and often they somehow came to you at a time when their family could not be there for them.
My dad Jake, is my misfit dad. I was not born into his family but he also was a great friend to my brother Joey and when Joey died it was Jake who stepped into my life to help me find my way. I had a natural father but he failed our family miserably and Jake provide me with what my birth father could not. When Jake became my misfit dad, he became Papa to the little's in my life, all of them are misfit grandchildren to him but you would never know that by the love he gives them and they give him back.
I have a misfit brother Alexander who came into our home when we attended college together. The apartment complex he rented a room in burned down. He lost everything including his glasses and money. He is from Ohio and my dad invited him into our home because he had no natural family members near to help him out. He lived with us until he graduated college, met a girl, married her and moved a few blocks away from us. He will always be my misfit brother.
James is also my misfit brother. He is from Atlanta GA and he came out and stayed with us for a summer, liked it, and never left. We met through my misfit Aunt OJ who lives in Iowa and I met her through my natural brother Joey, my misfit brother Mikey and my misfit dad Jake when we all live in Sioux City IA. James is OCD and his Atlanta family sheltered him from the world to protect him from his disease. When he came to stay with us for a summer we treated him like a brother, forced him to face his fears. He came with the understanding that he would never hold a job and never drive a car. Today he has a full time job, a part time job and is working on getting his license. His misfit nieces and nephew here love him and to them he is simply Uncle James.
I have a natural aunts and natural uncles, cousins, second cousins and many natural relatives related to me by marriage. I have a huge misfit family that I love as if they were my natural family. While I am slowly getting to know all of my natural family members I know I will always love an build upon my misfit family. I will always meet people in my journey on earth that I love as if they were specifically and especially given to me by God. There is just a special kind of bond that your heart feels when you come across someone in your life that you feel so much love for that you cannot imagine how you are not blood related. A connection that makes you feel as if the word friend could never describe the love you have for this person.
This morning Olivia, James and I drew our family tree. In red ink we wrote the names of our natural family members and in orange ink we wrote the names of our misfit family members. What a colorful beautiful tree we created full of red and orange leaves hanging from branches that would never be part of our tree had we never met one another in life. It was a beautiful illustration that represented the love we should all share with each other whether we are connected by birth, marriage, adoption or simply connected by crossing each others paths in life.
I think my 8 year old nephew Jimmy said it best when he said "This must be why GOD made trees so they grow so big. So when you find more people to be in your family you can fit them on the tree without it ever breaking."
Four year old Olivia comprehended things a bit differently when she said, "So me and Jimmy would be on Santa's misfit toy island?"
BLOOD RELATES YOU, LOYALTY MAKES YOU FAMILY
