When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.
The best and most beautiful things
Her name is Alana and on April 14 she would have been 21 years and 1 day old. On April 13, 2013 Alana turned 21 years old, a day most post teens look forward to with excitement and anticipation. All indications from the excitement Alana showed while helping her family plan her birthday party was she was as excited as any normal 20 year old soon to be considered a legal adult in every sense of the word.
It was Saturday morning and on this evening her family would share a dinner in their home followed by birthday cake, ice cream and gifts for the girl who was celebrating the big 21. Her mother, her younger sister and her had went shopping on this Saturday morning. Her first birthday gift was a new outfit, Baby Phat Jeans and a tee shirt. An outfit completely out of the ordinary for a girl who was modest and low key. Her mother was happy to buy her this gift, the daughter who never needed or wanted anything more then what already hung in her own closet. It was a great shopping day for Alana and her sister and her mother. They had a lot of fun and shared a lunch at Blunch's in Boston, where they would sit outside and eat lunch before they returned home after almost three hours of shopping. A day to be remembered for sure, by the women that shared this time together.
There would be no special decorations for the dinner and celebration. This was true to how Alana lived her life. Very low-key, very natural. As natural as her beauty from the outside to the inside. Alana choose homemade pizza, pink lemonade, and a white cake with chocolate chip ice cream. That was not Alana's favorite meal, but it was a no hassle meal and she never did anything that made more work for her homemaker mother. The afternoon would be spent as if Alana's birthday was not on this very special day. Her brother Alan would go play basketball at the Y with his buddies. Her sister Alice would go two doors down and spend her afternoon with her best friend, listening to music and talking about boys. Her mother would work on the piling up laundry and do various normal household chores. Her father would take the car in for an oil change and have it cleaned. Life on Alana's 21st birthday would be as normal as if it were any other day in the life or her family. Just as she would want it to be, just like every birthday before where she was uncomfortable with the attention and did her best to make it as low-key as possible. And her family would abide by her wishes to carry on as normal, it's just another day.
Alana's family love her deeply and knew her well. The quiet average girl who spoke softly and loved big. The daughter who never raised their concern for the safety and welfare of their sweet Alana who walked the line of good, never followed the crowd into teenage antics or college friends drinking binges. The daughter who had many friends but kept her family as her best friends. The daughter who never spoke a bad word about anyone in her life. The same one that volunteered at their church, and at the food pantry. The one that cheered on her brother in his sports and her sister in her cheer leading activities. All with a smile as bright as a sunny summer day.
It would not be until the day after Alana's 21st birthday that her family would get to know the girl with so much pain inside her heart that she could no longer live to fool everyone who loved her, or herself. It would be hard to piece together because everyone, including her boyfriend of two years, were fooled by her bright smile and her goodwill nature. Had it not been for a journal full of her true feelings, from deep down in her troubled soul, they would have been left wondering why Alana came to the conclusion that she could no longer continue her journey on earth.
While her sister was two doors down, and her mother was doing chores in their home, and her father was having the car cleaned and her brother was out with his friends, Alana dressed herself in her new birthday outfit, on her 21st birthday. She wrote a note to her family, a note to her boyfriend, set out her journal for them to find, and pinned a note to the girls who determined her fate, on her new shirt. Alana successfully hanged herself Saturday afternoon on her 21st birthday. She made her peace with God and by her own doing freed herself of all the pain in her heart to go beyond a breath of life into the unknown afterlife to meet with her Maker.
I met Alana through one of my friends who was her boyfriend for two years. I only visited with Alana twice ever and I knew her as her family knew her. Kind, happy, giving, caring. I remember telling my friend he found a keeper, a very natural beauty whose insides were as impressive as her outside. I wish I could have gotten to know her better, on a more friendship based level.
I attended her funeral services on Saturday, with a mass, the burial, and a small gathering at the church where a dinner was served. Homemade pizza, pink lemonade, lots of white birthday cake with chocolate chip ice cream. A fine tribute to a life lost before it was called home by God. An early departure on earth meant an early arrival in God's Kingdom. I was told about the day Alana was born by her mother. A beautiful sunny April day, a gift from God, not just the day but the birth of her daughter as well. Alana's dad told me how him and Alana used to work the New York Times crossword every Sunday. Memories that will carry her family through the days now that she is no longer with them to make more memories. A family left with questions that can not be answered. Pain that will not go away. Sadness that leaves them wondering what they could have done differently.
Rest in Peace Alana, our newest angel in heaven. May God's light shine in your heart and reflect on the lives of those who loved you, the lives of those who did not accept you for who you are, and the lives of all those touched by your beauty and kindness. You set yourself free of the pain and suffering inside your heart, now spread those wings and watch over our pain and suffering, protecting us from the evils of the world. - Jett
in the world cannot be seen or even touched.
They must be felt with the heart.
- Helen Keller
They must be felt with the heart.
- Helen Keller
If everyone in the universe would act upon the feelings in their hearts, the kindness in their hearts, the world would prove to be a better place. Your outside beauty is not what defines you as a beautiful person. Your beauty is defined by how you treat others, how you touch other peoples hearts. I learned that from an eight year old little girl dying of cancer. Several young girls learned that yesterday at the funeral of the beautiful soul they pushed to deaths door. I wonder how many people would be kinder to others if they walked through life as if they were looking in a mirror when they spoke to others.
The GOLDEN RULE
One should treat others as one would
like others to treat oneself.
